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Retirement villages - yea or nay

Discussion in 'Ethics & Morality' started by Lanolin, Jun 2, 2017.

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  1. AMEN!
     
  2. Saw something that made me laugh yersterday.

    A sign saying 'grumpy old men's club'. Only happy when complaining.

    I think that can apply to old women as well. Or is it old wives. The nagging never ends...

    It is better to live in an apartment than in a mansion with a complaining wife. Proverbs 21:9
     
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  3. If a man has a complaining wife, I suggest shopping for a large cork. LOL Living in a mansion with a wife with a cork in her mouth would not be so bad, I think.
     
  4. I found out yesterday that oldies like to complain for fun and like to pretend they are frail and losing their minds so they can convince younger people can do everything they want.

    According to one octogenerian.
     
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  5. Old people were once young, but the set of real problems confronting them are often quite different. One truth in the matter is that everyone's physical body is wearing out. Some are affected more in some areas than others and the rate of deterioration may not always be the same. Among old people as among young there are always some who will whatever is available to their own advantage. We should pray for anyone who is too selfishly motivated without regard to their physical age.

    A good thing is that while the ability of the flesh to fix or replace itself will fall behind the process of decay as the years go by, the "new" or "inner man" mentioned by the Apostle Paul is able to increase continuously regardless of what is happening to the physical body. This is because of what Jesus did for us. The means to increase in the Way of the Lord is now available to whosoever will.
     
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  6. Have you heard of or read this book @amadeus2? 'old before my time' by Hayley okines. She had an affliction called progeria which means she aged 8 times faster than anyone else.

    I think as we age we also ought to be mindful of what everyones bodies are capable of, even younger people while they seem to oldies to have endless energy, they are not so keen to do everything for an older person whos is cranky at them or takes them for granted.

    At the retirement village one of the assistant managers resigned, but was called on to stay two more weeks cos they couldnt do without her, but she had really had enough because its endless complaints! Old people seem to lack patience and not realise that we younger ones can be overburdened with their problems and we have our own lives to live as well. Plus there are MORE of them than us.

    They have all the time in the world, as they are retired and can do whenever they like but we young workers only have a short time to do our work. So it cant always be done right this minute!
     
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  7. I am beginning to think if you have arthritis its because you complain too much.

    Not meaning you amadeus but people in general.

    Not enough oil...of the holy spirit.
     
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  8. No, I haven't read that particular book [Old Before My Time], but I worked most of my working life for the Social Security Administration in the United States interviewing old and disabled people by the hundreds long before I would have been considered old by most people. I took their claims for benefits and input the notices of their deaths into the computer. I saw sometimes too many of their problems and shortcomings. I was often frustrated with the ones whose intent was to get something for nothing and on the other hand with the system which made it almost impossible at times for me to help those who really desperately needed help. There are most always two sides to any issue. Too many people are unwilling or unable to see the other guy's point of view.

    As to older people having all of the time in the world, I could write a book on that subject myself based on my own personal experiences, but I won't write it on this post.

    I will say that often there is also lack of patience on the other side because young people don't realize what is necessary to communicate with some older folks. It is most definitely a two-way street.
     
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  9. There are many people who fall into the category your describe, but they not found only among the elderly.

    My maternal grandmother was always complaining about her aches and pains and illnesses, but she never really had any serious readily identifiable problems. As her grandson, I got along with her well, but many people, especially in her own family, avoided her because she was such a hypochondriac. She died 2003 at the age of 100 years and 6 months. She used to tell us about moving from the state of Texas to Oklahoma when was 6 years old [1909] on a covered wagon. Although she partook of much of the modern technology implemented during her lifetime, she never had a license to drive an automobile and was never interested in obtaining one.
     
  10. Hmm yes the problem is older people can be hard of hearing and dont always listen to what you say...

    I think the majority are ok just a few really get my goat and if one starts complaining they all join in and have a big whinge fest about their ailments its like they compete who has it worse...

    There are young people who are also genuinely disabled but generally they dont complain or dump on others like the oldies do.

    Look forward to reading your book Amadeus!
     
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  11. Yes, some are like that. Some have become in a measure like children in their attention spans and like require the patience that a parent must have with young children.

    There is one very kind old woman who comes to our bi-weekly coffee gatherings because it is an important part of what remains of her life. She will 92 next month. She is legally blind and even with hearing aids is quite hard of hearing. She will ask the same question of me or others 2 or 3 times during our gatherings which only last a couple of hours and not realize she has repeated herself. She is nevertheless a very sweet Christian lady who has lived alone since her husband several years ago.

    I can remember seeing some of my regulars who were supposedly too severely disabled to walk without a wheelchair or other assistance walking moving through the market as agile as the best of them. When they came to visit my office, their entire aspect changed. I guess they did not realize that I also lived in the same city.

    I started writing my autobiography some time ago, but have never had any intention or expectation of having it published. It's for me to help my failing memory [along with the thousands of pictures I have taken over the years] and for any of my family who are interested.
     
  12. Lol am I not part of your family now..?
     
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  13. Without a doubt as the Lord sees it. My writings however are probably in a large part written from a non-spiritual point of view. Much tedious stuff that would bore many. All of it needs to be reviewed and edited but that is a lengthy project which I haven't have had the interest or time to get started on it. It has been months since I have looked at it myself. It is on my computer typed into Word [Microsoft Office].

    If you are really interested in reading it, I would have no problem with that. No one else has ever read any of it. My wife knows I have it but she know most of what is in it but has expressed no interest in actually reading it. I presume I could send it as an attachment to an E-mail.

    If you are not really interested, no problem.
     
  14. Maybe just one chapter, about the oldies you met.

    I wrote an imaginary america road trip saga for a whole year while I was unemployed. I couldnt really afford to go anywhere so just used my imagination. Could swap you a chapter.
     
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  15. There seem to be lots of dramas at the retirement village and it doesnt even have a theatre.

    Last week one of the retired ladies swore at a gardener team member for touching her garden...but it wasnt even him it was the other retired folk who cut her lavender. He said she was effing this and that and he thought someone was having a domestic. He got the blame from my boss as he was supposed to be surpervising the old folk but they KNEW they shouldnt touch this ladies garden but still did it.

    Anyway. I wasnt there, but boy I heard about it later, apparently the lady was in tears. We went and bought her new plants and planted them...but this lady, she changes her mind all the time so its possible one minute she wanted it cut and the next she didnt.

    Storm in a teacup alright.

    Im rethinking this retirement village lifestyle. Anyone not retired gets the blame if anything is not working right? Because when you retire you not supposed to work and have everything done for you by not retired people.
     
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  16. One part of it is certainly that while elderly people do have memory problems, they remember enough to know that once things were not like this. At one time they could do many things that now their bodies and/or their minds will no longer allow. For me the sadness is seeing a person that I get to know deteriorate before my eyes. We've been here 5 years and it has happened to several already. Some it was really necessary for their families to move to someplace they could receive more personal care. They endangered themself while they remained here with minimal or no assistance given to them. Others, the families bent over the other way pressing them to give up the little bit of independence that remained to them.

    There is one lady who just celebrated her 91st birthday. She is legally blind and even with hearing aids cannot understand unless you speak loudly and distinctly. She weighs in at about 90 pounds. She said once that the only times in her life she ever went over 100 pounds were when she was pregnant with children. Her children, of course, are grown and do seemingly as little as they can get away with to help her. She lives alone and has been widowed since before we knew her. A social services woman comes in to help her 5 days a week, 8 hours per day, but she really needs to have someone to be her 24/7. She has fallen multiple times with minor to serious injuries resulting.

    Since the first appearance of the caretaker a few months ago, I seldom see her children anymore. The good part is that an old man just a few months her senior came back into her life a few months ago. They attended elementary school together before either of them were married. The four of them were friends for many years, but now his wife and her husband have been gone for several years. He stills drive a car and regularly takes her to restaurants for meals and is generally nice to her. Her short term memory is very poor but she remembers when they were all together while they were young.

    She has always loved God and was very disappointed when her diminishing eyesight prevented her from reading scripture any more even when a very large magnifying lamp. She cannot operate the device for any type of recorded Bible without someone there to help her. Now, except when her elderly male friend is around she sleeps more than she is awake.One day I expect to hear that she did not wake up. I wonder how her too busy children, who she loves and defends fiercely against any criticism, will take it when she is gone. Relief, perhaps? May God help them to wake up.
     
  17. Thats so sad amadeus, im concerned about all the oldies in the retirement village when they get to the point they dont want their children or grandchildren around anymore, because they actually CHOSE to live away from them, sometimes it not a case that the children wanted to live away from them sometimes its the parents who sent their children away.

    I have heard of skiers eg spending the kids inheritance. But thats a wordly notion I dont think christian parents would do that. I mean if you are a grandad or grandma it says in the bible grey or white hair is a crown of glory! Wouldnt you want to be around your granchildren and teach them stuff that their own parents dont have time for? I think it keeps the oldies in good health to be around children rather than isolates with other old people.
     
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  18. When your parents get old Jesus said you need to look after them thata why he got John to look after his mum Mary (he knew ahe would need looking after on earth) and also said if anyone says they can just buy their parents off and say its a gift or was it corban...that is wrong too.

    mark 7:10-13
     
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  19. Heres another scripture but not quite sure what Jesus was getting at maybe it was just to feed the sheep who need looking after..John 21:18

    Everyone needs looking after at some point in their life its the self made man who probably comes a cropper the most.
     
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  20. When our grandchildren were small, both our daughter and son-in-law were working and my wife became their primary caretaker. I was still working but when I was at home they frequently were there and I enjoyed my time with them. My wife of course spent more time with them, but she would sigh in relief when they finally went home or on a day when they did not come at all.

    Unfortunately often when my daughter came to our house to visit, they would often attempt to take advantage of my wife. When one of the grandchildren wanted or needed something, be it something to eat or a clean diaper or discipline, they would ignore them letting my wife jump in to handle the situation. My wife holding onto an independence and quick tongue from prior to knowing the Lord, would not tolerate that long. She would tell the parents frankly that she was not on duty at the moment and one or both of the parents would have to do what was really their job in any case. Too many parents are like that.

    My for a long time worked at our home babysitting other people's children for extra money while I was off on the job. More than one of those parents would call on my wife for help in disciplining their children because their children, so good with my wife, would ignore or even back talk their own parents. Parenting is a difficult job and anyone who thinks it is easy has missed something important.

    Now, my wife and I are beyond the point where we have the patience or physical strength to care for small children. Our youngest grandchild is now 16 years old. Our only great-grandchild is 7 years old and while we love to have him visit, after even a very short visit we are both usually soon exhausted and ready for his to go home. We never care for him without his parents in attendance.

    Presently my wife in particular often needs care and when she is at home that's my job. When it's me needing the care, she is the one. Hopefully, it will never happen that both of us are completely incapacitated at the same time. But... we simply have to trust God on that one. I would hope that our children would step in seriously.
     

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