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Retirement villages - yea or nay

Discussion in 'Ethics & Morality' started by Lanolin, Jun 2, 2017.

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  1. #1 Lanolin, Jun 2, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2018
    What do you really think of them? Is it ethical to separate grandparents from grandchildren and say they cant live together as a family? Do people really get grumpier and harder to live with as they get older?
    Note these arent rest homes. Some retirement villages are the lap of luxury whereas others look like jail cells, how do you tell what they are really like? Is it you just get what you can afford?

    Ok nobody? I just heard that some of them are scams that prey on the elderly and rob children of their inheritance. But I suppose if your children have all left home anyway its not likely they want to come back and look after you or your home. Also it takes more than one person to look after an elder...

    Just to add - the people I talk to seem pretty happy they moved.
    They are retirement villages, not rest homes, although some have care if and when you need it.

    I think for the safety aspect and maintainence view they are good for old folk because its a big job running a household on your own if your children have left it. Also the social side of it.

    Although I think the design of many of them could be better I don't like to see old folk crammed into tiny apartments with no sun or garden, up several floors, looking onto a carpark and no communal spaces.
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  2. My wife and I moved from our home more than 5 years ago. Our new place is not really a retirement home, but rather a gated apartment community all at ground level where someone else comes and mows the grass and all of the utilities are included in the monthly rent payment. It is actually open to anyone who wants such a lifestyle without regard to age or retirement. We do have a clubhouse with coffee gatherings twice a week and potlucks dinners for special holidays or whenever we want to have one. We are happy here because we don't require or desire much in the way of worldly entertainments.

    There are many places for seniors only, but honestly the ones we could afford are pretty shabby. Yes, money is a factor. I have a good retirement income, but no material resources. But that is OK, because we strive to remain on God's side.

    "I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. " Psalm 37:25
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  3. #3 Lanolin, Jun 27, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2018
    hmm, I did have a workmate who lived in a gated community once and thought it was kind of weird, but I suppose it's safer. Ground level is good I think.

    Is it apartments because you live apart? I thought they would be called 'togetherments'.

    Amadeus what did you do with your home, I suppose you sold it to move into the gated community, did you have children who didn't want it? Or they moved out and got their own place? Did you move far?

    Some people divide up their land and put another house on for their children. Or they just live with their children. I don't know if that works for many people, but if they on separate titles or floors it could work, I don't your grandchildren come visit?
  4. We have our own home although in our particular building there are nine apartments. There is common hallway with one entrance to each apartment. Each apartment also has door which opens to outside. The ground level is necessity for many such as my wife who is unable to safely handle any kind of stairs. Safety may be involved, but it was never our concern. While there are gates, they are not closed or locked.

    Two general rules to which every tenant must agree before becoming a tenant, are no pets allowed and no smoking allowed anywhere in the complex.
  5. I am 73 and my wife is 66 years of age. Our youngest grandchild is 16 and we have one great-grandchild aged 7.

    The advantage of not owning your own home is not being responsible for paying property taxes and making necessary repairs. How well the landlord handles the necessities is of course a major factor for some considering living in such a place.

    In our last home I collapsed while out working in the backyard. My wife was at a neighbor's and was not within hearing range, nor was anyone else. That one reason for our move. We moved about 50 miles. Our family does come to visit periodically.
  6. So is it a licence to occupy? Is that the same as a rental?

    50 miles is a fair way away, but then do you know all your neighbours are they a good bunch of people? I suppose if you renting it does depend on how kind your landlord is. Did all your children move out before, or after you moved. Is it close to town?

    Sorry Am being nosy, my dad is planning to retire soon But I think mum will just keep working right to the end.
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  7. It is a rental.

    One reason for the long distance move was where we were attending church service. For a few years we had been commuting the distance on Sunday mornings as well on Wednesday evening. We believed [and still believe] that it was God's will for us to move closer to the people as He had a work for us. We have doing that, but that is a whole testimony in itself.

    No problem. This is strictly a rental with a lot of close neighbors. We help each other, but that is not the landlord's requirement. It is really God's. Our landlord is a good one according to our experience.
  8. my landlord wont let me have a garden even thought theres room and threatened to rip it out if I put one in.

    Or trees.

    Not sure where to move to if I ever move am considering squatting in the botanic gardens.

    I am too young to live in a retirement village.
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  9. We put in a tiny garden for a couple of vegetables in one place and a flower bed in another. Of course, we did obtain the landlord's permission first. [The handyman actually rototills and large garden plot for anyone who wishes to participate in their joint gardening effort. I like my own little plot right outside my apartment door better.] No more big gardens for me as I simply cannot handle it, but it is nice to allowed to do what I am able to do.

    Well think it over carefully before making any decisions and pray for God's help in it.
  10. #10 Lanolin, Jun 29, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2018
    My mum is like the landlord she lords it over everyone who lives here.
    I will say to dad one thing and then mum will do something different. Its annoying having no choice where you live but I dont see any alternative. Also the soil we have here is basically mud.

    But its interesting what things ive managed to grow in mud.

    Hmm well coming back to this thread I think some retirement villages are not very well designed having worked in a few I mean in terms of access, and numbers of people. I think some are way too big, one village has 400 residents, and too many floors which require lifts, or walking up and doen stairs if the lifts dont work for some reason, and you would think for retirement villages they would think about wheelchair access but many dont.

    Fire drills are a nightmare!

    Plus the poor property managers that have to deal with all the complaints and maintainence issues.,,its never ending...keeping 400 residents happy is a big ask...

    Gosh now I think about it, do more men collapse working in the backyard than I realise. Let me guess was it mowing the lawn??

    Now I need to mow their lawns for them..the other day someone took off with our blower. I dont know what the deal is with lawns why so many people have them when its better to have a a garden to look after because lawns require much more maintanence than a garden does.
    MAny Plants require a prune once a year mainly but grass keeps growing and sometimes you need to trim it every week!
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  11. No, I was organizing a backyard shed full of tools and miscellaneous supplies not normally needed in the house. It was hot out and I had no water with me. As I started walking toward the back door of the house, I lost it. I did not actually pass out, but I lost my strength and was unable to get up to walk. I was out of breath from calling my wife. When I realized she was probably not hearing me. I started to crawl. I was half across the yard when she finally came looking for me.

    What I had was, in my opinion, worse than a lawn. We had a small in ground swimming pool, which required daily attention to keep it looking nice. We couldn't afford to pay someone to do so I was its keeper by default. When our grandchildren stopped coming by to swim regularly it became a great frustration to me. In the winter when it snowed I had to scraped the snow off the pool cover so that it wouldn't get too heavy. That pool was a major reason also for us moving away from that house.
  12. Oh pools. Yea they are high maintanence.
    Both house next door used to have swimming pools but they got rid of them.
    I dont know if a natural pond is better..?

    I know of one set of grandparents buying this trampoline so that their one grandchild would want to go to their house. But he's too young at the moment. Not sure why they dont just give it to their parents, because I dont see them jumping on it.

    I then find out they have another apartment in australia. Im like ok, you are both retired and you have an apartment in another country so you have to go and stay there too? And you also have a bach. And a campervan. As well as a huge house, with no children living in it. So you have like 4 dwellings while young people these days cannot even afford to buy one. That just blows my mind.

    I housesat and catsat for this now retired couple but they couldnt afford to actually pay me? My mind does not compute, how can people be so wealthy yet so tight? Maybe the two go together?
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  13. My wife and I learned by experience that "things" are never the answers any more than money is the answer. Now we are very satisfied to live in a small apartment with someone else being responsible for some of the basics in a home.

    The answer, of course, is not in the place but in the heart. We still have a few extra "things", but we continue to give them away or sell them as we continue to realize that they really very unnecessary. Our children [now adults] have received a good part of the give aways, but they haven't come to our conclusions yet.

    Everyone really should come to know who their Director should be. All of us continue to do our own directing.
  14. #14 Lanolin, Jul 18, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2018
    I think coveting is a trap many fall into. Sometimes its not only things or places, people can treat other people like 'things' they need to 'have'.

    Jesus really had nothing, he gave whatever he had up. He gave his life. He was unmarried and homeless, wheras today if you are unmarried and do not own a home you are looked down on by people that do.

    People will ask you what you do (for a living) when they really trying to figure out what you earn. I learned that is even what people in church ask. Like the very first question, not even a 'how are you'.

    Jesus did say make friends with the unrighteous mammon so they will let you in their lasting habitations. (That they can no longer maintain). I think people just dont count the cost of building or buying a home, the real cost. Thats after the bank has creamed off most of it in interest loans.

    I mean the world wants you to buy stuff you cant even afford and wont be able to use forever. Wheras Jesus shows us the pearl of great price, something so precious we would sell all we have to obtain it.
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  15. AMEN!
  16. Saw something that made me laugh yersterday.

    A sign saying 'grumpy old men's club'. Only happy when complaining.

    I think that can apply to old women as well. Or is it old wives. The nagging never ends...

    It is better to live in an apartment than in a mansion with a complaining wife. Proverbs 21:9
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  17. If a man has a complaining wife, I suggest shopping for a large cork. LOL Living in a mansion with a wife with a cork in her mouth would not be so bad, I think.
  18. I found out yesterday that oldies like to complain for fun and like to pretend they are frail and losing their minds so they can convince younger people can do everything they want.

    According to one octogenerian.
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  19. Old people were once young, but the set of real problems confronting them are often quite different. One truth in the matter is that everyone's physical body is wearing out. Some are affected more in some areas than others and the rate of deterioration may not always be the same. Among old people as among young there are always some who will whatever is available to their own advantage. We should pray for anyone who is too selfishly motivated without regard to their physical age.

    A good thing is that while the ability of the flesh to fix or replace itself will fall behind the process of decay as the years go by, the "new" or "inner man" mentioned by the Apostle Paul is able to increase continuously regardless of what is happening to the physical body. This is because of what Jesus did for us. The means to increase in the Way of the Lord is now available to whosoever will.
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  20. #20 Lanolin, Jul 29, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2018
    Have you heard of or read this book @amadeus2? 'old before my time' by Hayley okines. She had an affliction called progeria which means she aged 8 times faster than anyone else.

    I think as we age we also ought to be mindful of what everyones bodies are capable of, even younger people while they seem to oldies to have endless energy, they are not so keen to do everything for an older person whos is cranky at them or takes them for granted.

    At the retirement village one of the assistant managers resigned, but was called on to stay two more weeks cos they couldnt do without her, but she had really had enough because its endless complaints! Old people seem to lack patience and not realise that we younger ones can be overburdened with their problems and we have our own lives to live as well. Plus there are MORE of them than us.

    They have all the time in the world, as they are retired and can do whenever they like but we young workers only have a short time to do our work. So it cant always be done right this minute!

    I am beginning to think if you have arthritis its because you complain too much.

    Not meaning you amadeus but people in general.

    Not enough oil...of the holy spirit.
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