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The Real Truth about Sex

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:-S

I dont doubt sex before marriage can be dangerous, but is it really wrong? I am not here to stir things up and i know i am walking on thin ice with this but please hear me. A great theologian you may well know, C.S. Lewis, said " Sex in itself cannot be moral or immoral. The sexual behavior of human beings can. And the sexual act, when lawful-which means chiefly consistant with good faith, can be done to the glory of God, and will then be holy. " My point with this comes down to the motive. I understand that sex encouraged by lust is completely sinful and can never be justified. But if two people are in love and marriage is not appropriate for their situation, is it wrong for them to give themselves to each other? That is, is it really wrong for two people to have sex if the motive is not sin based?


Let's be real, okay? Is sex wrong outside of marriage? What is it called first of all when you have sex outside of marriage? Fornication. Let's go to what the Bible says on fornication (which sometimes even includes adultery).

Matthew 15:19
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: (this is a list of sins)

Let's talk about faith. Faith is about a lot of things...including obedience. Are you obeying God when you have sex outside of marriage? No. You become married not just when you sign the license, BUT when you have sex. That is why it is so dangerous. Yes, there are consequences. There IS a reason why God made marriage because then the consequences of having sex aren't so huge and overwhelming.

Now, this question about those who are in a situation where marriage is out of the question...there are three situations where this would be the case.

One, the people are of age (over 18), but one is older...much older than the other. Two, the people are too far away from each other, which then wouldn't be what we are talking about here. Three, one or maybe both are married to someone else. I could be wrong....there might be another??

None of these are good reasons. I believe there is never a good reason to have sex outside of marriage.

1 Corinthians 7
1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

(there is a space here. I skipped a few verses)

6But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

7For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.



The writer is talking about 'should I get married or not' stuff. This is why sex outside marriage isn't right. The writer talks about husbands and wives. Nothing here about motive. There is no holy motive to sex outside marriage. God will see your heart and know that you have been disobedient. I believe if you think that having sex outside of married is okay...I'd ask...'what is the real motive?' If you love someone, you can wait until marriage.

Hopefully, I made some sense and this helped someone.
 
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I understand that sex encouraged by lust is completely sinful and can never be justified. But if two people are in love and marriage is not appropriate for their situation, is it wrong for them to give themselves to each other? That is, is it really wrong for two people to have sex if the motive is not sin based?

Sexual intimacy outside of marriage is a violation of God's law. Its sad that where marriage is concerned, many people these days see God as a kind of out-of-touch kiljoy when, in fact, all His laws are good and this law strengthens marriage.

It takes a lot of sacrifice, a lot of laying aside of self interest, a lot of self discipline to build a Godly marriage. Celibacy before marriage, while often painful, builds self discipline and strengthens the bond between the man and the woman so that their marriage can withstand the many trials that will come. So, you see, giving in to sexual urges before marriage works against the building of a Godly marriage. This is why He honors celibacy before and outside of marriage.

SLE
 
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That is, is it really wrong for two people to have sex if the motive is not sin based?

Being ignorant to the truth does not justify their actions.
This is a christian stand point, God's rules we follow not because he wants to run our lives. He knows the dangers, he's trying to protect us from it.

Your world view on the matter is exactly that...the world's view on the matter of morals.

As Christians you stand by the bible, if God said to flee the appearance of evil I'm going to run. If a guy really loves me, he will respect my body and know its only for my husband. If he wants my body he will have to be my husband. I would know he loves me based on the fact that he waited on me.

The biggest lie this world teaches us, is that Sex is love.
 
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I liked your post rizen1. You are right. God says in Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." Some think that its "ok" to have sex once you are engaged, but that is totally wrong. How do you even know if you are going to make it down the isle? Do you want your husband or wife to have been defiled before you marry them? If you don't, then make sure you keep yourself from being defiled, and from causing others to be defiled. I think the safest ways to keep your purity is, to not date before you are ready to be married, once you do start courting be sure you are never alone with the opposite sex, and avoid all physical contact. Yes, kissing and hugging and holding hands. Are you going to regret it? Highly unlikely! I have gained a lot of my views from Paul Washer. He has sermons online about the whole matter. Very good.

May we all be presented before God unspotted from the world,
anya
 
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Hey!
I know this was your own method, but is it a sin to kiss? You know, because the Bible is not really specific on stuff like that.
 
Member
I completely believe in no sex before marriage......although I am struggling to do it myself :( .......but in this day and age so many Christians believe that it is ok to have sex before marriage....how do u find someone that is everything u want and still believes in this practice.....it's hard enough to find a good christian friend anymore let alone a spouse
 
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