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The Real Truth about Sex

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Active Member
The Real Truth about Sex
NLT Student Devotional

'Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a skilled craftsman. Your navel is perfectly formed.' Where would you expect to find this kind of writing? A steamy romance novel? The Internet? How about your local Bible—namely Song of Songs 7:1-2?

Song of Songs provides a frank and poetic view of sex. Sex is God’s invention—not Hollywood’s or the average music video producer. So, what can we conclude from this?

Sex is good. Unfortunately, some have treated this aspect of God’s creation as if it were shameful or to be avoided. But God created sex, and he created us as sexual creatures; therefore, sex is good.
Sex is powerful. Of all the ways people have of expressing themselves to one another, sex is the most powerful. It involves a person’s total being. When sex is kept in its proper context—marriage—it is a powerful vehicle for good, for bringing a husband and wife together as one. Unfortunately, when sex is expressed before or outside of marriage, it can be powerfully destructive.

Think of it like this: Would you give a six-year-old the keys to a new Ferrari and send him or her out to drive it in the Grand Prix? No way, right? A six-year-old isn’t physically, mentally, or emotionally prepared to handle the car or the course. Get the picture?

Sex is made for marriage. Period. Sex is such an explosive force between two people that it must be expressed in an environment of love, support, and commitment. Especially commitment. That’s what is missing in sex outside of marriage—commitment. Sex is 100 percent physical commitment. Unless there is 100 percent emotional, financial, social, and spiritual commitment, the relationship will be unbalanced and will probably collapse, leading to pain, anger, shame, and much more. Those who decide to become sexually involved in spite of God’s instructions shouldn’t be surprised when, like our young Ferrari driver, they crash and burn.

Sex, as the Song of Songs says so beautifully, is God’s idea. If you follow his leading—including waiting until marriage to have sex—you’ll experience one of God’s greatest gifts in a way that is fulfilling to you and pleasing to him.
New Member
That is an EXCELLENT post. Please read this anyone who is doubting where they stand on this!

Please don't fall into the devil's lies that 'it's what people do'. The devil will and frequently does attack people on this. Stay strong in the Lord. Be obedient to him and he will honour that decision.

Love Jack
New Member
Just one other thing about sex:

a few years ago I became so fixated on sex before marriage being a sin that I lost sight of what sex actually was in God's eyes. This post (rizen1's) is talking about sex being GOOD. It is GOOD. It's wonderful because God made it.

Let's be radical in our choice to stay sexual pure until marriage.


Let's not in any means think of sex as a bad thing in that pursuit.

I spent quite a long time feeling so negative about sex that the idea of sex within marriage felt sinful to me. Don't make the same mistake. It's like a christmas present which, when opened on Christmas day is a huge surprise and joy, but if opened beforehand, when it comes to Christmas, it's no longer a surprise because we have not honoured the conditions on which the present was given.

Love Jack
New Member
I like the christmas present idea!
I think of it as this...
you can only have a first time ONCE. why not share that one extra special time with someone that you have promised the rest of your life to???

I have always believed in NO sex beofore marriage and at times it has been hard.
when people around me started to have sex with there boyfriends I felt like i was missing out on something...

I watched a serman on the God channel the other day and a man was talking about this subject he described it as..

Being told that you can't have chocolate for a week! You and your friends go out to a beautiful tea room and all your friends tell you that this tea room is well known for its chocolate cake.
you have your tea and then out comes the pudding menu.
when you look at the menu all you read is dark Chocolate cake, chocolate cheesecake, homemade chocolate icecream.. and so you beat yourself up about it and think to yourself I can' have chocolate so i am not having anything.
BUT what you have missed is what was under the chocolate icecream, lemmon cheesecake, soft victoria sponge, banana split, bannoffee pie.

we get so wraped up in thinking that we are missing out because we have chosen to wait until marriage that we miss all the greater things like building stronger relationships with Christ!

something to think about.
Active Member
I just got back from my NY trip and its sad....because I met these young girls 11-12 who shared stories of being sexually active and what goes on in school.

They are so blind, people try to paint this picture that " Long Island '' kids are more structured, because their parents hang out in the hamptons..but these kids are getting away with the behaviour because no one is looking at them..because '' they are perfect "

Well I had a sat down session and told them the truth.
I'm 23 and they can give me a sex education class.
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New Member
Alright, this a great post and should be read by all adults alike. Some

teenagers feel that they know everything sex is and they simply are

lying to themselves. Sex is something that can only apply to two people

who truly love eachother and are able to express it in marrital

boundaries. As we get past our Parent-nature boundaries, we are in

essence are "conquerors" and have reached an age where we know

how things work and feel we can do it on our own. That is why teens

rebel against thier parents and have sex but in the end they have to be

advocates for thier actions. If pre-marital sex leads to treacherous

waters, it is our job to warn the young youth of such things and this

can help us. We must be able to teach our youth in this age because

the next generation is looking to turn out worse than the previous one.


New Member
way to common?

Great post. Casual sex has been way to common. Abstinence is a great way to go, and it's a great way to prevent HIV or other STDS. May God bless you! XO -Kay
It is really great to see these kinds of posts. My husband grew up with his mother and sister and he was homeschooled from 4th-12th grades. In public school, I got a sex education through health class. Teens do NOT need that from their schools (that hand out condoms and who knows what else), but from their parents! Just a thought.

Also, I waited mostly...I married at 23. It is hard, but with people encouraging you to be pure and to wait. I didn't kiss my husband on the lips until our wedding day (it helped tons with the pressure, etc). Set limits...standards and stick to them! If a guy or girl isn't going to stick to the standard, they aren't worth your time. They don't respect you!

Some advice from an 'old' married woman ;-)
New Member
nice giggles... i love that no kiss on lips before marriage, i pray for a realtionship like that too... im so happy for you sister. =) btw, i just received ur letter! it made my day! lotsa love! -jhen
Thank you very much rizen1, this thread is very accurate, even non christians would agree that sex creates a strong bond and connection that is very harmful for the unmarried couple to share it could hurt and confuze them very much, God warns us for our own good, because we'll get emotionally attached one way or another.

Anything beyond light kissing, hugs and holding hands could be destructive.(you even should wait a long time before doing these)
The Real Truth About Sex.

Here is a good reason for celibacy outside of marriage - There is no such thing as a 100% foolproof birth control device.No man-made product is defect-proof. No matter how well designed the product, no matter how "perfect" the manufacturing process seems to be, there is ALWAYS the possibility that the product you are depending upon for "safe sex" at any given time is not safe.

Active Member
Here is a good reason for celibacy outside of marriage - There is no such thing as a 100% foolproof birth control device.No man-made product is defect-proof. No matter how well designed the product, no matter how "perfect" the manufacturing process seems to be, there is ALWAYS the possibility that the product you are depending upon for "safe sex" at any given time is not safe.

Besides me being obedient to God, this is enough for me to not have sex.

All it takes is one time, the first time to get pregnant to catch a std.
New Member
Nice post. :] Makes me wish I would've waited. I mean, I'm not a Christian, but still, it's a pretty great thing to be able to say to your husband on your wedding night that you waited so long just for him. Too bad some of us will have to say that complete opposite. :[

The dictionary lists two definitions of virginity, the first of which is never having had sexual intercourse. The second definition - equally important as the first because it involves an act of the will - is abstinence from intercourse. Therefore, if a person who has been active sexually willfully abstains from such activity, he/she also qualifies as a virgin starting with the day the abstinence begins.

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New Member
I dont doubt sex before marriage can be dangerous, but is it really wrong? I am not here to stir things up and i know i am walking on thin ice with this but please hear me. A great theologian you may well know, C.S. Lewis, said " Sex in itself cannot be moral or immoral. The sexual behavior of human beings can. And the sexual act, when lawful-which means chiefly consistant with good faith, can be done to the glory of God, and will then be holy. " My point with this comes down to the motive. I understand that sex encouraged by lust is completely sinful and can never be justified. But if two people are in love and marriage is not appropriate for their situation, is it wrong for them to give themselves to each other? That is, is it really wrong for two people to have sex if the motive is not sin based?

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