Hmmmmm-deep thought---
Well, I don't know if I understand just how you feel 08KELLCD, but I'm just beginning to understand the ups and downs of love. I'm don't know much about dating since I haven't even been on one. And somehow I intend to keep it that way for a while until I feel ready. But at my workplace, which is a Christian atmosphere, there are already two guys fighting over me. Since I'm such a small girl and blush so easily, I refused a date with one of them. I didn't have the same affections as I did with the other.
Now, just recently I had a very innocent and romantic conversation with the one I cared about. I, with my face turned to the corner of the wall, explained to him every honest feeling. Which, afterwards, I nearly died. Oh, I think we were both blushing. But the two guys are still trying their hardest to win my affections.
However, the one I like--I'm very concerned for him spiritually. Like who wouldn't be!!!! But this is different. I want my future husband to really have a deep and passionate relataionship with Christ. I know he is a Christian. Yet, I still have no clue how he is doing spiritually. So I decided to take all my cares to God. Now I'm praying very hard for this certain guy. I want him to love Christ so much and I want to live a life with my future spouse serving God together. How cool would that be?! I'm trying very hard to know the right questions to ask him without sounding like a "tare-finder". It's hard because this certain guy and my brother got into a deep-thinking theological argument. I mean there were hard feelings amongst them both. So it can be a touchy subject on deep convictions concerning the Bible; especially since this guy I like doesn't give much of his opinion to know where his convictions are---or if he has any at all.
Anyway, I'm having mixed emotions lately. I'm only 19 years old---I have my whole life ahead of me. Right about this time in life college is the one consuming thing in a person's life and friends are separated. Soooo, I get depressed about moving on in life.
I wonder what person God has for my life. It is very hard to know. Sometimes I end up praying, "God, I choose acceptance! Whatever Your will is I will follow."