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Sometimes its hard..

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Been single since I've been a christian (January 1999) and even a bit before. By single I mean I haven't dated. Waiting for God's choice, ie His best. Mostly I find myself content, God is my peace. But there are times, my heart aches. Since I've never been married I want the joy of that, and don't get me started on children. Don't get me wrong, I know all the right things to tell my heart. And truly I trust God, but what do I do in those darker hours, when the tears fall? Others think that something is wrong with me, my family has given up hope...my friends are married, sometimes wanting to be me...if only they knew.
 
Member
Hey Victorygirl! *wavie* I kinda know how you feel, to an extent. Although marriage is kinda a scary subject for me (long story, my ex, Paris, yikes!!). However, instead of thinking about what is missing in your life now, think about what you have. It makes me feel better and a little more complete if that makes sense. Plus Gods timing is just right and it is perfection once it happens so I guess, chin up, plus the waiting can be just as exciting. Im probably babbling, and so I must take my leave, I bid thee gd night girl of victory...
 
Member
Hey Victorygirl--
I totally understand. I also sit and wait, and I know there are a lot more out there in the same boat. My husband divorced me primarily because of my relationship with Jesus, but God let me know that He was sending another...my perfect match. I am both lonely and scared...not at the same time. I haven't "dated" anyone since I was 19 years old...(37 now), and I have been away from my ex since march 2001. So sometimes I feel alone--eventhough I know I'm not because I have Jesus--and sometimes I am afraid that I will make the wrong decision again...if that makes any sense.

God Bless,
Trying to be patient,
Patti
 
Member
Hi Victorygirl,

I was just wondering why you are not dating I understand that you are waiting on the Lord to send you a husband but until then why not enjoy the experience of dating. I think you should make yourself more available or should I say more approachable and get out there and enjoy your life. Dating gives you an opportunity to put your plan in action you do have a plan don't you? You have to write the vision and make it plain. What is your expectations for marriage God will send you a husband but you still have to have a plan. When dating simply take an application so that you will know if he is the man God has sent just for you. Ask God for what you want in a husband and be very specific while making your request known and then have faith to believe that you shall receieve whatsoever you ask. Now while going through the application process here are a few questions that should be of major concern 1.Is he saved, how long, does he attend church and does his beliefs conflict with your. 2.How is his finances do you think he will be a good provider, does he have a history of changing jobs constantly, how is his CREDIT. 3. How does he feel about sex before marriage if he says he thinks its ok then Run, Does he want to have kids and how many. ect... There is nothing wrong with dating you should be enjoying the process and as long as you stay focused on your goals then you can not go wrong. If you don't try then how will you ever meet the one God has chosen for you. Just remember the first sign of a red flag is God letting you know this one is not the one for you then move on. God bless you and I hope you meet your husband real soon.

fulloffaith
 
Member
i kinda know how your feeling...but then again i dont...
i mean im 16 and your..older then me...well anyways instead of thinking when the person is going to come in your life..why dont you look at what god as already given you...and i mean yeah im still waiting for the "one" and i mean i trust god that the person is out there somewhere and someday i will meat him.....
i used to always think that i will never find the "one" but then a friend from me sent a mail with a story in it....
a girl was talking to jesus and asked when she is going to find the "one" and then jesus said....as soon as you have a real realationship with me and totally trust me....
he also said somethin else but i cant remember that
cause those two i really need to work on...i mean yeah i kinda hava a relationship with god and somehow trust him but not totally and my relationship to him is really not good...
so dont give up...someday you will find the one....
God bless
kara
 
Member

xr6

victorygirl said:
Mostly I find myself content, God is my peace. But there are times, my heart aches. Since I've never been married I want the joy of that, and don't get me started on children...............

Hi Victorygirl,

I can certainly relate to what you have written here. Your honesty is refreshing. A lot of the time I am content being single. There are times I love being single. Then there are times that my heart aches and aches because I am single. I see this as being normal for someone who is single. Most of my single friends go through this range of emotions. I think that we need to look out for our single friends who are in there 30s and 40s, those ones who not have chosen to be single at that age, the ones that want to be parents, want to be loved. Some of the ladies at church tell me that they cry because they are single. ( 13 single ladies to every single guy at my church) The guys I am friends with don't cry about the situation, however it is of concern to some of them that they are single. Some of the guys just go along with being single.

The good book the bible says it is "not good for man to be alone"
And it isn't. Loneliness is not good.
I thank God for the friends he sends.
 
Member
I am compassionate to your situation. It is very hard. I'd like to share this with you.
I found someone, ten years ago, and that someone and I developed a relationship. After waiting and waiting for the right person, whom I believed God had meant for me, I was filled with joy and love. Is this my soul mate? I felt my prayers had been answered. I was so happy that I could hardly expain it to my friends who were disapproving of the relationship. At that time, I started to doubt that this was the one for me. The relationship I had with her became different as she began to see other people, my doubts grew, yet in my heart still felt the same. So I waited and waited for her return, or a good word to give evidence that she felt the same still.
But the longer I waited the more my doubts grew as we were not seeing each other. She was still a friend to me, but she was planning her life without me in it.
As my doubts grew, I began drifitng from the LORD. And this is where all of the evil temptions of the world began to take a stronghold in my life, and I found myself doing ungodly things and on a path not based on faith in the LORD. I lost faith.
This story has not come to an end, as I have heard that she is now married, and I am expecting a child from my girlfriend, whom we are engaged.
I am on the path now of finding my faith again. Perhaps this is a test from GOD, and if so I am very thankful for it.
I pray that you don't lose faith and that God will reveal to you what He wants for you.

Very Respectfully,
Thunderbird
 
Member
Hi Victorygirl!

i understand how u feel considering im 25yrs old now..
i used to feel the same..
being contented with what i have now: the wealth, name, lights, fame..is everything to me.
but everytime im about to sleep and alone, i feel this emptiness within me.
my heart aches coz i know that there's an empty space in my heart..
but the only thing i can do is to cry to GOD, and ask HIM to fill that emptiness..
through this i became closer and closer to GOD coz i know He has His own plan for me..
He is also teaching to kneel down, trust and wait for His will in life..
and He don't want to be hurt once again coz i've been into different relationship before.

i still believe HE will fulfill all HIS promise in my life...
i may never see it today but know it will come to pass..


grace*
 
Member
I sit here waiting
Thinking about you
Wondering when
we'll final meet.
I loved you with
the first thought.
I can't wait to
hold you in my
arms never letting
you go.
Wispering in your
ear how much
I love you.
I know that my
life is incomplete
with you.
I hope
I wonder
I pray
That God will
soon bring us
together.
 
Member
Who were you writing this to, kaibeto? who ever she is, she's lucky. i wish that i guy would write poetry for me. Has any of you looking for that special someone and you get bummed out because it seems like every single song on the radio (espically country ones) is having the person sing about how much they love that significant other? I know it bums me out. Especially b/c the guy i want i can't have b/c he's dating my best friend and i don't want to hurt her. That reminds me of the songs "Let me love you by Mario" and "Obsession (no es amor) by Frankie J". Can any of you relate to how i feel? if so, let me know that i am not the only one who feels this way and has been in my predicament.
 
Member
Hmmmmm-deep thought---

Well, I don't know if I understand just how you feel 08KELLCD, but I'm just beginning to understand the ups and downs of love. I'm don't know much about dating since I haven't even been on one. And somehow I intend to keep it that way for a while until I feel ready. But at my workplace, which is a Christian atmosphere, there are already two guys fighting over me. Since I'm such a small girl and blush so easily, I refused a date with one of them. I didn't have the same affections as I did with the other.

Now, just recently I had a very innocent and romantic conversation with the one I cared about. I, with my face turned to the corner of the wall, explained to him every honest feeling. Which, afterwards, I nearly died. Oh, I think we were both blushing. But the two guys are still trying their hardest to win my affections.

However, the one I like--I'm very concerned for him spiritually. Like who wouldn't be!!!! But this is different. I want my future husband to really have a deep and passionate relataionship with Christ. I know he is a Christian. Yet, I still have no clue how he is doing spiritually. So I decided to take all my cares to God. Now I'm praying very hard for this certain guy. I want him to love Christ so much and I want to live a life with my future spouse serving God together. How cool would that be?! I'm trying very hard to know the right questions to ask him without sounding like a "tare-finder". It's hard because this certain guy and my brother got into a deep-thinking theological argument. I mean there were hard feelings amongst them both. So it can be a touchy subject on deep convictions concerning the Bible; especially since this guy I like doesn't give much of his opinion to know where his convictions are---or if he has any at all.

Anyway, I'm having mixed emotions lately. I'm only 19 years old---I have my whole life ahead of me. Right about this time in life college is the one consuming thing in a person's life and friends are separated. Soooo, I get depressed about moving on in life.


I wonder what person God has for my life. It is very hard to know. Sometimes I end up praying, "God, I choose acceptance! Whatever Your will is I will follow."
 
Member
yea..... good question, who did you write this for anyway???? awesome writting kaibeto, blessings to you.
 
Member
The eyes of Jesus are over you !

:messenger What is really important is that as sure as the sun will raise tomorrow i am also sure tomorrow God will bring what wish of your heart.
Do you understand ?
I am sure the sky may pass, the earth may pas.
But I am sure god will make all the things He promisses you in his holy word.
Support. don'T give up you almost, there God bless you !:messenger
 
Member
:messenger Kaibeto, my brother you very special.
I am Glad to meet you.
I also put all my sentimental life in the hands of Jesus.
I also pray all night, i also prepair the day she will come.
I already buy her presents even not knowing.
God give dreams all night, speaks with by profecie...and I believe !
I am even righting the history of our spititual rellationship.
I also live as She already existe by my side.
And i know she already exist, and sonner I will meet Her !
Do the same, and also give some ideas.
God bless you !!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Member
Victorygirl-
Don't become impatient on this subject. I'm 21, and I've never really dated in my life.I mean, I've had some relationship with internet guys-it's dating, but not at the same time(shall we call it an oxymoron?). I became impatient over this summer, thought I had found "the one", God said no, I followed my heart. Don't do that. God will discipline- majorly! I found that out the hard way. It's very hard to wait, but God has someone out there for you. I'm not downing you, I'm giving you sound advice. Listen clearly to what God has for you. He has an awesome plan worked out, Jeremiah 29:11 tells us this," "For I know the plans I have for you" -[this is] the Lord's declaration- "plans for [your] welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."(NKJ) Wait for His timing.

In Christ,
HM
 
Member
Hi victorygirl.
Just by the fact that so many responses have been evoked by your post is one reason to know that your are not alone in there.
Ecclessiastes 9:11,I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race [is] not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
when time is come for fruits to ripen they fall, so with everything under the sun , a little more waiting will make the difference.Atleast you can count yourself an overcomer in that area.And get me right ,i dont mean you should defy your heart,but probably some bit of it tells you that hold on.Remember isaiah 60:22 "..., I the LORD will hasten it in his time."
Hey what about that victorygirl? we are also waiting .
 

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