Member
Well folks, I am at a low right now and could use some prayers. I am a recluse who sits staring at the walls or looks at the hate spewing commentary on Yahoo news. My parents are gone, my 3 siblings consider me as an after thought, my friends (3) live long distance & have their own problems. So I'm totally alone. I lay in my bed, read a little Scripture, and afterward feel no hope, feel nothing but emptiness. I have to force myself to go to church. I go to a big Pentecostal church where I sit way in the back anonymously & watch these people talking in tongues & praising Jesus. I say to myself, what's wrong with me? Why can't I be like them? I wonder, Am I already damned?
God is omnipresent & He knew from the get go what kind of life I was going to live. And I sit here wondering "why?" It'd been better if I had been aborted instead of living this ugly lonely life where I'm now just existing until my time ends. Yes, there are others who are less fortunate then me. But I still wonder as death is closing in, what pit in hell I am going to be sent. Eternity has no time, and (lol) time is your worse enemy in satan's earthly paradise. It's like one of those - you can't win for losing situations.
God is omnipresent & He knew from the get go what kind of life I was going to live. And I sit here wondering "why?" It'd been better if I had been aborted instead of living this ugly lonely life where I'm now just existing until my time ends. Yes, there are others who are less fortunate then me. But I still wonder as death is closing in, what pit in hell I am going to be sent. Eternity has no time, and (lol) time is your worse enemy in satan's earthly paradise. It's like one of those - you can't win for losing situations.
