Stylez4Christ
Member
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2006
- Messages
- 448
Well, right now I am going though allot of things because I know that I am in a big under attack by Satan, a some small depression, failing just by sinning . But as for right now typing why’ll tears running down from my eyes, because its been to much for me for the past year since day one that I’ve start becoming a Christian even some parts of my past. I can’t stand how I look and something’s that I do also, sometimes I look at myself in the merrier and I see myself not too normal such as some sort of acne and been having it for 6 or 7 years now and cant stand having it and growing hair out of my neck which is very strange for me to look at, I had to pluck them out because I don‘t think it normal but it is not controllable , I can’t stand it…
I have to hide allot of myself, I guest I don’t like how I look but I just hate that feeling and it is really distract me into allot of things even with my relationship with God. I been afraid that people treat me different in there attitude even that it dose happen but in the future, I guest I cant fit in with them. But I still look different because of my ears because I born with a defect and plus I’m deaf to, I do sometimes feel like in church and in school like if I am neglected by friend and people who I spent time with even there jokes or if they making fun of me sometimes in some of other days. I am still in tears because of my pain even in my past. I be feeling that people in my church might look at me as if I am doing good even If I am but not really that good that I may smile and laugh but I really never cried in church to show other or telling anyone about what I go through and I never told my pastor about my problems before that I go through hard times. The only time I cry in pain is when no one is at home or I cry myself to bed, even people are home at that point but that when I have my time by myself when no one isb around, I know it dose sound sad but it is because I don‘t really feel comfortable to cry front of people. I hate some of the things in my life that I am in right now, and I am close to being 18 on the 18th of this mouth but all the years I go through and also going through in my family even as a person who is the only one who is Christian. Whatever I go through now I might of kill myself to committed a suicide if I was never accept Christ into my life and no way I am not going to no hell, and right now I don’t think I feel if I am ready because sometimes I can’t tell if I am sinning or not and going through the confusions. There more about me but I guest this is enough but I am sorry that this is very negative but I really do need help from you and prayer…:boy_hug:
I have to hide allot of myself, I guest I don’t like how I look but I just hate that feeling and it is really distract me into allot of things even with my relationship with God. I been afraid that people treat me different in there attitude even that it dose happen but in the future, I guest I cant fit in with them. But I still look different because of my ears because I born with a defect and plus I’m deaf to, I do sometimes feel like in church and in school like if I am neglected by friend and people who I spent time with even there jokes or if they making fun of me sometimes in some of other days. I am still in tears because of my pain even in my past. I be feeling that people in my church might look at me as if I am doing good even If I am but not really that good that I may smile and laugh but I really never cried in church to show other or telling anyone about what I go through and I never told my pastor about my problems before that I go through hard times. The only time I cry in pain is when no one is at home or I cry myself to bed, even people are home at that point but that when I have my time by myself when no one isb around, I know it dose sound sad but it is because I don‘t really feel comfortable to cry front of people. I hate some of the things in my life that I am in right now, and I am close to being 18 on the 18th of this mouth but all the years I go through and also going through in my family even as a person who is the only one who is Christian. Whatever I go through now I might of kill myself to committed a suicide if I was never accept Christ into my life and no way I am not going to no hell, and right now I don’t think I feel if I am ready because sometimes I can’t tell if I am sinning or not and going through the confusions. There more about me but I guest this is enough but I am sorry that this is very negative but I really do need help from you and prayer…:boy_hug:
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