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Marriage - when does God consider a man and a woman 'Married'

Active
John 4:16; He *said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.”
John 4:17; The woman answered and said to Him, “I have no husband.” Jesus *said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’;
John 4:18; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this which you have said is true.”


Jesus didn't consider shacking up and having sex, the same thing as being married. Marriage involves commitment, not only between us and God, but with other witnesses that
can hold us accountable. Jesus's first miracle was at a wedding. ( John 2:1-11; ) If she was having sex with this man, why didn't either Jesus or the woman herself, consider him her husband?

Simply becoming "one flesh" doesn't make someone your spouse.

1Cor 6:13; Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, however God will do away with both of them. But the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body.
1Cor 6:14; Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power.
1Cor 6:15; Do you not know that your bodies are parts of Christ? Shall I then take away the parts of Christ and make them parts of a prostitute? Far from it!
1Cor 6:16; Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.”
1Cor 6:17; But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
1Cor 6:18; Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1Cor 6:19; Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
1Cor 6:20; For you have been bought for a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Verse 16 says you can become "one flesh" with a prostitute, but that doesn't make her your wife.
This passage says we are "one body" in Christ, not "one flesh" (one body) with a prostitute, He even asks "shall I take away the parts of Christ"... and them part of a prostitute.

Heb 13:4; Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.

1 Cor 6:9; Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,

If someone is having sex with more than one person, is the whole group married? What if someone else in that group is having sex with more than one person? Now we have a communal marriage
where a dozen people are all married to each other. What if someone is in a homosexual relationship, does "tab A into slot A" still apply? It doesn't apply in any case I can see in the Bible.

In Genesis, God talked about a man joining together with his wife in sexual intercourse. There was no mention of marriage papers but God clearly saw sex as a marriage act between a man and a woman.

Marriage was later a part of legal governance because mankind has multiplied and people need to be held accountable for pregnancy. People need to be held accountable because they don't obey God. If everyone was obedient to God till today marriage would naturally take place without marriage law or papers, sex itself was and is still the act of marrying.
 
Loyal
Mark 6:17; For Herod himself had sent men and had John arrested and bound in prison on account of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip, because he had married her.
Mark 6:18; For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”
Mark 6:19; And Herodias held a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death, and could not do so;
Mark 6:20; for Herod was afraid of John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he had been protecting him. And when he heard him, he was very perplexed; and yet he used to enjoy listening to him.

Even some marriages are not valid according to God. If a brother dies if is OK to marry his wife ( Mark 12:20-23; ) but in the passage above, John the Baptist said it was wrong for Herod to be married
to his brother's "wife".
 
Active
If all the legal procedures and ceremonies and covenant today in marriages were necessary steps for a union to be considered marriage in God's eyes, God would have stated them all in Genesis. However, only sex was mentioned in Genesis, so it is very telling that sex is the only mandatory action that makes a union marriage in God's eyes. The other things were added later on, but they don't form the foundation of a marriage union - sex and procreation.

What about sexless marriage? They are considered marriage by law, but not marriage according to God's definition. The purpose of marriage is for a man and woman to unite as one flesh and procreate, a sexless marriage loses that function so while it is to be honored, it isn't technically a functioning marriage.

I don't know why there are so much arguments about this. Either people are trying to excuse their sins by proving themselves right, or they are trying to find an excuse not to marry someone because they believe sex is not necessarily marriage - neither of these intentions are godly.

How is God honored when we argue over this?
 
Loyal
John 4:16; He *said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.”
John 4:17; The woman answered and said to Him, “I have no husband.” Jesus *said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’;
John 4:18; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this which you have said is true.”


Jesus didn't consider shacking up and having sex, the same thing as being married. Marriage involves commitment, not only between us and God, but with other witnesses that
can hold us accountable. Jesus's first miracle was at a wedding. ( John 2:1-11; ) If she was having sex with this man, why didn't either Jesus or the woman herself, consider him her husband?

Simply becoming "one flesh" doesn't make someone your spouse.

1Cor 6:13; Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, however God will do away with both of them. But the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body.
1Cor 6:14; Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power.
1Cor 6:15; Do you not know that your bodies are parts of Christ? Shall I then take away the parts of Christ and make them parts of a prostitute? Far from it!
1Cor 6:16; Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.”
1Cor 6:17; But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
1Cor 6:18; Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1Cor 6:19; Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
1Cor 6:20; For you have been bought for a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Verse 16 says you can become "one flesh" with a prostitute, but that doesn't make her your wife.
This passage says we are "one body" in Christ, not "one flesh" (one body) with a prostitute, He even asks "shall I take away the parts of Christ"... and make them part of a prostitute.

Heb 13:4; Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.

1 Cor 6:9; Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,

If someone is having sex with more than one person, is the whole group married? What if someone else in that group is having sex with more than one person? Now we have a communal marriage
where a dozen people are all married to each other. What if someone is in a homosexual relationship, does "tab A into slot A" still apply? It doesn't apply in any case I can see in the Bible.
On a side note 1 Cor 6.9 and many other verses like this . I just can not grasp how any Christian church can both claim Christianity and allow Civil unions of same sex marriage . It just boggles my mind
 
Loyal
Marriage - when does God consider a man and a woman 'Married'

It is a debatable topic, and scripture is not explicit regarding the subject. But marriage is a very important topic, it should never been gone into lightly, especially for Christians.

There are I understand, three lines of thought, each having there own positives and negatives. I include this thread for discussion I am sure we all have our own views, but please try keep to scripture as much as is possible

The 3 options considered in the subject of what is marriage in God's eyes.

1 - Marriage
- according to the 'law'
2 - Marriage - requires covenant (vows) and a ceremony
3 - Marriage - begins when a man and woman have sex.

Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding, this is very important in a number of ways but let us stay on topic, with marriage'

What was a Jewish wedding like in Galilee at the time of Jesus?

The traditional Jewish Wedding at the times of Jesus.

1 - There is the marriage covenant
- The father pays for the bride and establishes the marriage covenant.

Further reading Acts 20:28; 1 Cor 6:19-20; 1 Cor 11:25; Eph 5:25-27

2 - The Bridal Chamber is Prepared - The son returns to his father’s house and prepares the bridal chamber.

Further reading John 6:62; John 14:2; Acts 1:9-11

3 - The Bride is Fetched
- At a time determined by the father (Matt 24:36), the groom fetches the bride to bring her to his father’s house. “Although the bride was expecting her groom to come for her, she did not know the time of his coming. As a result, the groom’s arrival was preceded by a shout, which forewarned the bride to be prepared for his coming.”

Further reading John 14:3; 1 Thess 4:13-18

4 - The Bride is Cleansed
- The bride undergoes ritual cleansing prior to the wedding ceremony.

Further reading 1 Cor 3:12-15; Rev 19:7-8 +

5 - The Wedding Ceremony
- The private wedding ceremony.

Further reading Rev 19:7 +

6 - The Consummation
- In the privacy of the bridal chamber the bride and groom consummate the marriage.

Further reading Rev 19:7 +

7 - The Marriage Feast
- The celebratory marriage feast to which many are invited.

Further reading Matt 22:1-14; Matt 25:1-13; Luke 12:36

Jewish culture, is totally different to the western world.

So lets look again at the three options again.


1 - Marriage - according to the 'law'
was the covenant between the couple. In the west it is get into bed first, try before you buy, if they do get married the covenant (vows) came later.

But God requires us to be married by law. Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:17

2 - Marriage - requires covenant (vows) and a ceremony.
A man and a woman are married in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony. The vows are said in public, who act as a witness to them saying the vows.

Jesus was presence at a wedding ceremony at Canaan in Galilee. He accepted the wedding procedure of the day, He did not condemn it, he had plenty to say about divorce. In fact Jesus used the Jewish procedure for a wedding at the time he was on earth as a model of His Church, His beloved Bride.

3 - Marriage - begins when a man and woman have sex. God considers a man and a woman married the moment they engage in sexual intercourse. Some who take this to mean that a couple is not truly “married” in God’s eyes until they have consummated the marriage physically. Others argue that, if any man and woman have sex, God considers the two of them to be married. The basis for this view is the fact that sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is the ultimate fulfilment of the “one flesh” principle (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Eph 5:31). In this sense, sexual intercourse is the final “seal” on a marriage covenant.

We could refer to Isaac and Rebekah, he took her into a tent, she became his wife. But in the NT at the time of Jesus, a wedding was not like that, a wedding ceremony was as listed above. Marriage covenant first, then the Bridal chamber is prepared, the Bride is fetched, the Bride is cleansed, then comes the wedding ceremony, then the consummation, finally the marriage feast which is a very joyous occasion and could last for a full week.

But is this 'marriage' in the eyes of God? We should consider also a disabled person who cannot have sex, or a terminally ill person, they marry according to the law, say their vows in public etc, but either the man or the woman dies and they have not had sex, were they married?

Should the various options be ignored, or shall we choose a little from one and a little from another to suit our situation?

When is a man and a woman married in God's eyes?
Hello @Brother-Paul,

Thank you for your informative OP, and for the question which is the subject heading of it, 'When does GOD consider a man and woman to be married?'

My thoughts go back beyond the creation of the nation of Israel, to the beginning, when Adam and Eve became 'one flesh', which our Lord refers to in Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10:9-5 and Paul also in 1 Corinthians 6:16 and Ephesians 5:31 :-

'And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man,
made He a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:
she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.'
(Genesis 2:22-24)

Thank you
In Christ Jesus
Chris
 
Loyal
In every culture there is a ceremony of some kind marking the beginning of a couples' lives coming together and Then there is the consummating of the marriage. Becoming one flesh sexually.

Back in the 'old days' -- if a guy and gal were caught messing around, there was a shot-gun wedding. If they were going to mess around in the hayloft they were going to do the grown-up thing and get married to make an honest woman out of the young lady.

A marriage ceremony of some kind is to be performed first.
 
Member
There seems to be a little misunderstanding as to what a covenant actually is.. Some are looking at it as a law, whilst actually, it is a promise.

In marriage terms, it is the promise made to each other to be faithful etc. In relation to God, it runs a little deeper. You promise to keep His laws, but the counter to that is that He promises that you will receive the blessings pertaining to that promise, or obedience to that law. It may well be in God's time, but the blessings will come as the right time.
 
Member
It must also be pointed out that Adam and Eve were also married, just that they were married by God.
 
Active
and God does choose your betrothed sometimes, as is written several times in the bible. Some people dont heed the Lord and go off and marry the wrong person, with usually dire consequences. Be patient and wait, and remember, things are not always as they seem to be.
 
Loyal
In response to when are we considered married by God. When we have followed the cultural laws that are ordained by God. And when we have in the presence of friends / witnesses shared our marriage vows -- exchanged rings and are pronounced husband and wife. And then consummated that union in private / become one flesh.

And in some countries the mates are chosen by parents. But mainly in This country, well, some people take marriage very seriously and pray for God's directing to His choice for them. And others don't bother getting married. Biblical morality is better.

Over the years, there have been people from Many different countries bringing their customs with them. But we Do need to abide by the laws of the country we are in.

Keeping God's laws are not usually part of marriage. We don't live by Old Testament rules / regulations with marriage. Godly marriage is Supposed to last a lifetime.
 
Loyal
Keeping God's laws are not usually part of marriage. We don't live by Old Testament rules / regulations with marriage. Godly marriage is Supposed to last a lifetime.
Thats exactly right, we dont live by old testament rules. When the early church dealt with the question of what should the gentile believers adhere to when confronted with all the judiazers, the list was pretty short. That being said, old testament rules were Godly rules and it wouldnt hurt us to follow them, but its by faith we live, not old testament rules, unless you choose the lifestyle of the messianic jew (one who accepts Jesus as Lord).
 
Loyal
@Brad Huber -- this morning in S.S. we were in Deut. 28 :1 and then vs 15. -- that if 'we' diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the Lord your God .........all the blessings, etc. And then follows with "but if you Don't, then all the Cursings. Is that what you're referring to?
 
Loyal
@Brad Huber -- what do your comments concerning the Old Testament have to do with Marriage. Are you by chance Jewish?
Only jewish in the sense that I fully support Israel and want the lowly jews find the peace there they have always wanted. I say lowly because there are a good percentage of jews who are deep into the deep state which is currently trying to remake the world in their own image, the rothchilds for one.
 
Loyal
@Brad Huber -- this morning in S.S. we were in Deut. 28 :1 and then vs 15. -- that if 'we' diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the Lord your God .........all the blessings, etc. And then follows with "but if you Don't, then all the Cursings. Is that what you're referring to?
Only that we should accept that many old testament rules are truly good for us, as long as we realize that they dont bind us, or that other gentiles should observe them or else.
 
Loyal
@Brad Huber -- it sounded like you were tying marriage into that.

Okay -- Jesus was born into the Jewish culture and 'we' are to be supporting Jerusalem / the Jewish people. Some have accepted Jesus Christ as their Promised Messiah and many haven't.

A person doesn't have to be a Jew or Jewish To support them. Right now we're in the time of the Gentiles -- God will again work with His people, the Jews who haven't accepted Him, yet. at this point.
 
Loyal
I was mainly replying to your last statement in post #70. The Holy Spirit so moved me to, so I did. I can see how it would apply to marriage, but my reply didnt follow an interest/thought/reply format normally seen.
 
Loyal
@Brad Huber -- You said you can see how it would apply to marriage. The only thing in the Old Testament concerning marriage would be in Leviticus 18:6 - 26 -- which Is very specific. Particularly vs 22. I'd forgotten about that passage.
So - yes - it Would benefit everyone To follow those guidelines. That is also repeated in Romans 1:26 - 27 particularly.

Marriage is to be Only between one man and one woman. There is to be a ceremony witnessed by friends / family --uniting them in holy matrimony. And Then - in private - they become 'one flesh'.
 
Loyal
The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

There's an element that I don't think has been discussed in this thread so far. A man leaves his mother and father. The implication is that in marriage husband and wife create a new family.
 
Loyal
@Hekuran -- Yes, the man and woman Are to create a new family. And That is be After a ceremony takes place in front of friends / family.
 
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