God created laughter for us to enjoy so here's an attempt at a joke thread. Doesn't need to be God/Jesus related just nothing dirty. We can all use a laugh now and then so please contribute...
Here are a couple to get things started.
---------------------------------
An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.
The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily.
The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's going on?
The Devil replies, "Things are great down here since you sent us that engineer."
"What?? An engineer? I didn't send you one of those, that must have been a mistake. Send him back up right this minute."
The Devil responds, "No way! We are going to keep our engineer. We like this guy."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "HOW? I have all the lawyers!"
---------------------------------
A tyrannical King was executing by guillotine an imam, a priest and an engineer for being threats to his authority.
The imam is first and the guillotine blade stops just above his neck. The imam loudly claims it's allah's will and the king lets him go.
The priest is second and the guillotine blade stops just above his neck. The priest loudly claims it's Jesus' will and the king lets him go.
The engineer is third and as he steps up he calmly informs the executioner that his guillotine would function much better if he disengaged the safety latch mechanism located on the other side.
Here are a couple to get things started.
---------------------------------
An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.
The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily.
The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's going on?
The Devil replies, "Things are great down here since you sent us that engineer."
"What?? An engineer? I didn't send you one of those, that must have been a mistake. Send him back up right this minute."
The Devil responds, "No way! We are going to keep our engineer. We like this guy."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "HOW? I have all the lawyers!"
---------------------------------
A tyrannical King was executing by guillotine an imam, a priest and an engineer for being threats to his authority.
The imam is first and the guillotine blade stops just above his neck. The imam loudly claims it's allah's will and the king lets him go.
The priest is second and the guillotine blade stops just above his neck. The priest loudly claims it's Jesus' will and the king lets him go.
The engineer is third and as he steps up he calmly informs the executioner that his guillotine would function much better if he disengaged the safety latch mechanism located on the other side.