Divorce

GOD is LOVE!God is long suffering!
I think,He does not want us to suffer opr allow our family to suffer,Which is sometimes harder on us!
You must do as you think is best.I do not believe any of us should live a life of suffering for nothing!
And I would not be in a marriage where my kids were suffering.because,my mate did not like them!:love:
 
Good but does the people understand..?

"What God has united man shall seperate it" Does the people who are married understand this? I was shocked to see more divorces in Christian countries than non christian countries. Is marriage a real commitment?
 
"What GOD has joined together let NO MAN put asunder". Forgive my naivete, but to me that suggests that The Lord allows divorce in some instances that He has specified.

I know The Lord detests divorce but He also detests violence from one spouse to another!! And what about the kids who are made to witness this?

I am not seeking an easy way out, I want my marriage to work. Personally, I have no intention of filing for divorce. Surely it takes two to make a marriage?

My husband will not go to Christian counselling, but I will not go to Scientology (his new religion). So we live apart and see each other at weekends, his choice. One spouse cannot do all the work themselves, and if I am to submit to my husband's authority, does that mean I have to go to Scientology, and take my daughter with me?

God bless,

S. V. :love:
 
my experience

You are right in the case of suffering but I look at my mother who lived with my father who was not easy to live with but my mother used to say "This is the man made for me and I have to suffer for his salvation as Jesus suffered for me". Is the suffering of Jesus meaningless and we are not ready to suffer for no one..at least for a man and children?...so if we run away from suffering, sufferings will run after us...is divorce a solution to be free from suffering...I understand you...less the love more the suffering and more the love less the suffering...
 
Hello there my friend,

No, divorce is not, in my opinion, the cure for suffering. You're right, too many people give up on their marriages - I must admit, before I became a Christian, I married three times, each after about a year, after intensely 'falling in love', and didn't really take the time to see what I was getting into - who I was really marrying, inside out.

Therefore, I was really shocked and dismayed when my first husband committed adultery, and my second beat me. I still love my present husband, and now we don't live together, we can laugh together and he is a very good friend to me, and me to him. I'm sure that, however unconventional, those aren't too bad a basis for a marriage. He's an angel compared to the other two, Ha! Ha!:star:

I don't know what the answers are, only God does. But, in future years, if either of my children were considering marriage, I would counsel them to take it VERY seriously, as divorce is not a good thing. Marriage can be a wonderful thing! Maybe 'love' is not enough when considering marriage, as people fall in and out of 'love' with each other all the time. However, the Love of God is eternal, and I would recommend that my children, or anyone else considering marriage, make sure as much as they possibly can, what they are getting into. I didn't, although I truly loved the men I married (my husband has been divorced twice as well) I think would look much more carefully at my chosen mate, and how well we work with each other, given my time again. And, trust God in all things. Looking back, there were warning signs that, blinded by 'love' I chose to ignore.

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure"


God bless,

S. V. :love: xxxxx
 
ADSTAR says that divorce is acceptable 1) fornication 2) unbeliever leaves.

It is still my understanding of Matthew 19:9 that Jesus only gives fornication as grounds for divorce.

As far as an unbeliever getting a divorce from a believer, the believer may be subject to a forced divorce without concent, so while becoming divorced, still does not have a scriptural right to remarriage, until the unbeliever commits fornication, as the marriage is still in tact in God's eyes. The gov't of course has already approved it, and therefore the innocent one has no further need of any legal processes in this divorce and is free to remarry if fornication occurs, which does include the remarriage of the guilty party.
 
Well I dont agree, but everyone has their own opinion, and I dont think you understand the circumstances. but thanks for the comment. gbu
 
chinaski said:
Wow. I am humbled by your faith chozen_girl. I dont know anything about marriage problems but I want you to know I will pray for you. Remember Jesus is with you every second of every day.
Click to expand...

Thank You very much for your kind thoughts
sometimes it is better when 2 are not as 1
I pray that Jesus will put someone in my life that we can become as God wants us to be
God Bless You and Thank You so much again
 
maciek said:
"What God has united man shall seperate it" Does the people who are married understand this? I was shocked to see more divorces in Christian countries than non christian countries. Is marriage a real commitment?
Click to expand...

F-. Misquoting Jesus Christ himself. Horrible. His words do not appear like that in any translation. If you read carefully you will notice it is "let no man separate" which clearly indicates it's possible. Is there even such thing as a "Christian Country" ? What are you talking about?
 
Divorce and re-marriage

I have to admitt that i am greatly surprised at the way in which this issue of divorce is being looked at.Let us pick up all the verses of the scripture that talks about divorce and re-marriage:
MATTEW I9:1-10, And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan;
2 And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
MARK 10:2-8, And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
LUKE 16:18, Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

From the bove passages it is thus clear that God did forbid DIVORCE AND RE-MARRIAGE. God never condone this terrible sin and the earlier we sincerely yield ourselves to Gods' word the better.
Even though it is possible for either party to get divorce, under Gods permitted will, yet it is a sin for a divorced woman or man to get married again as it is clearly stated in the above verses. THESE ARE WORDS SPOKEN BY JESUS HIMSELF.
Let us always bear in mind our vision of heaven and never forget the parable of the 10 virgins. The bilble says that right from John the baptist the kingdom of God suffereth violent and it is the violent that taketh it by force.
 
Wow, I really enjoyed (and pained in) reading all of the above posts. I am recently divorced and gone through much more and am in a world of hurt but trying to recover.

I rarely see people in my situation though, as in I was the one who did the wrong and am now here seeking guidance for a Godly life.

I was the one who left, cheated and did wrong, knowing it was wrong AND knowing it was not God's will. This makes it even harder for me. I have no excuses. Yes I have depression and yes that caused much of my problems leading to my divorce..BUT that is not a valid excuse..I still knew God, knew the truths and yet I still did it. My wife stayed at my side the entire time, forgave and forgave and kept in prayer until the 3rd time I had left..and final time. She even warned that she did not think she could forgive again and that if I left and later when I realized I was wrong she would not be able to go back and repair it. This is exaclty what happened. I lived in sin with another woman for a year and a half..yes she made me happy, as in satisfying my emotional needs, wordly needs..but as a Christian wife she did not. I knew I should not be there and it took me a year to finally do something about it. We have now broken up and I have started back in church. My ex wife has told me she will never trust me again and I should not even talk to her unless it is concerning our children. I am broken and sad and lonely but I am trying to push on in faith that God can repair that lost marriage, or if not he can give me a new one, or if not I can serve him alone.

I wonder if anyone here has any good stories about marriages broken and beyond repair, that were repaired?

Maybe I would be better off without this hope as I think I should be focusing and trusting on God rather than thinking about the what-if's.

Thanks for the great post Chad!
 
Not to step on toes, but Matt 19 was written to reveal Gods intent on Divorce and also was used to silence the Pharisees under the Law. They asked the question to Tempt Jesus and to try to trap him. They were not asking because they wanted to know, they were asking to discredit him. The passage also reveals that Gods will is not for a person to divorce, yet even under law it was allowed. The law allowed divorce because divorce is driven by hardness of hearts. Again, read Jer 3: 8, then the book of Hosea and you will find even God had a divorce. If divorce was a sin, then God sinned. He divorced Israel! I am not taking the passage out of context. God remarried not only the Jews, but under the new covenant all those who are in Christ are called the Bride which includes ALL people even the Jews. They must come to God through Christ like everyone else! They are no more a special people group than you are. When God showed Abraham the stars and the sand on the seas, he said, your family will be greater than all the stars and seas. He was not talking about a piece of dirt in the Middle East called Israel nor was he limiting it to the Jewish people. He was revealing to Abraham that all nations of the world could come to him once the seed, Christ was born into this world! The seed would produce a nation of people (the body of Christ) that would far exceed Abraham’s expectation. Abraham was not a Jew originally; he was from Iraq and like his father worshipped the moon God. When God came to him God made a covenant with him and asked if he would accept it. Not until he was circumcised did the Jewish nation become a people group. The reason for this was God used the nation to usher in Christ. Once that was done, all men then had to accept Christ and not follow the Law for justification.

People or should I say the church is destroying people over divorce. The brother here said he sinned and messed up. Should the wife be made to never marry again? You can not mix old covenant with New Covenant. The Law was for the JEWS only. You and I, the gentiles were never meant to live under the Law. It was the tutor to the Jews until the teacher (Christ came). God’s perfect will is for a couple never to divorce, however it happens. You can go to Jesus and received the forgiveness he already provided for the entire world. Moses was divorced, David committed adultery and murder, yet God allowed them both to remarry! That was under Law. David also put away his wife for laughing at him because he danced before the Lord with all his might and she mocked him.

Saints, we must read the entire bible, and as New Testament believers show Grace and mercy to those who have had marriage failures. Now we all know by national statistics that the church divorce rate is now overtaking the worlds. The reason is Satan is attacking marriages and two; people are not putting their spouses ahead of their own selfish desires. If both couples are serving and submitting to one another, then both couples needs will be met. Love prefers the other person. It takes two to do this and agreement is a must in marriage! If all you do is fuss and fight, you will destroy your marriage. It takes patience and a desire to follow Gods plan for marriage to be successful. You both need to read Gods word on what a spouse is supposed to do and submit to one another in Love. It’s hard until you begin to practice it. You will have bumpy times, but as you submit to Gods word on Marriage things start getting easier! Please do not read the scriptures that pertain to your spouse, and find everything they are not doing. Read what you are supposed to be doing and obey it. God will work on your spouse. It may be a long haul, but its worth it!

Men and women in the work place are being tempted left and right. Make sure your sex life is healthy and discuss it with each other on a frequent basis. One of the biggest reasons for marriage failures is Sister Fine and Brother Buff are wolves looking to destroy your home. Work on your marriage. Learn to forgive, talk, talk and communicate in love and things will work out.

Those that have been divorced know your life is not over, God can restore you but it may take time. If you are the victim of divorce then allow God to let you forgive the other person, but that does not mean you have to get back with someone who has a track record of unfaithfulness. If you are the one who committed the transgression, then allow God to restore you and understand that your spouse may not ever take you back. If you will both walk in forgiveness and allow God to work in your life, deal with the sin areas, then you can remarry and lead a normal fruitful life. Divorce hurts the kids, the couples and takes a hunk out of your pocket book. So think before you yield, the cost will eat you alive.

Bottom line, God hates divorce but not the divorcee. His will is for couples never to divorce, but as we all know it does happen. Not making light of it, but we must understand this and not destroy these peoples lives who are hurt already.

Sorry so long,

Trucker
 
Very very well said Trucker, blessings.

There are a lot of hurting people out there...'there but for the GRACE of God go I' should be the refrain of the 'saints' ...that aint.

Joh 9:24 So for the second time they called the man who had been blind and said to him, "Give glory to God. We know that this man is a sinner."
Joh 9:25 He answered, "Whether he is a sinner I do not know. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see."
Joh 9:26 They said to him, "What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?"
Joh 9:27 He answered them, "I have told you already, and you would not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you also want to become his disciples?"
Joh 9:28 And they reviled him, saying, "You are his disciple, but we are disciples of Moses.
Joh 9:29 We know that God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where he comes from."
Joh 9:30 The man answered, "Why, this is an amazing thing! You do not know where he comes from, and yet he opened my eyes.
Joh 9:31 We know that God does not listen to sinners, but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does his will, God listens to him.
Joh 9:32 Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind.
Joh 9:33 If this man were not from God, he could do nothing."
Joh 9:34 They answered him, "You were born in utter sin, and would you teach us?" And they cast him out.
Joh 9:35 Jesus heard that they had cast him out, and having found him he said, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"
Joh 9:36 He answered, "And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?"
Joh 9:37 Jesus said to him, "You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking to you."
Joh 9:38 He said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshiped him.
Joh 9:39 Jesus said, "For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind."
Joh 9:40 Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, "Are we also blind?"
Joh 9:41 Jesus said to them, "If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, 'We see,' your guilt remains.
 
As far as the divorced woman making an adulterer out of a man if he marries her,,,,, remember, in context Jesus is talking of an adulterous woman, the only reason for the first man to divorce her. If a woman was not the cause of the divorce, as in no adultery on her part, and the man leaves because he says he isn't happy, then the woman is free to marry and does not make another man an adulterer, because she did commit the adultery to warrant a divorce. Why would Jesus not permit a woman to marry when she was not in favor of the divorce and did not commit adultery? I certainly do not want to be single all the rest of my life because my husband walked away. He divorced me with no adultery on my part. It was his decision to leave and never come back, even though no adultery on my part, so I believe I could remarry, but in the Lord, and once again for keeps. I do not have to wait until he is dead, I know that we are not one by all the tearing apart and damage that was done to me emotionally. Something no one should have to live through. We are definitely not one.
 
I prayed many many times over this one. As of March 5th I became a divorcee. I researched a lot and keep coming to the same answer... .. God works everything out for good. I am to saturate myself in his word and HE will guide my steps and lead me.

I was with ex for 13yrs, 9 of marriage. I am by NO means perfect and carry my own faults in the reason our marriage ended BUT through every trial God uses us to glorify him.

I know that I know God loves me and forgives me of my past sin.

I know that I know God showed me grace by learning from my past.

I know that I know God healed me from the inside out.

I know that I know HE has shown me what true love is and made me a loving person.
 
Wow, lots of very religious people here, which isn't a good thing BTW. Please understand that circumstances are different and people's lives are complicated and some are really hurting in their marriages, divorce is a sin that is forgiven because Jesus died for it! You're saying Jesus's blood isn't good enough to give us salvation because of divorce. We need to be more loving and more merciful and not just point fingers and be like the Pharisees.
 
Property Of God said:
Wow, lots of very religious people here, which isn't a good thing BTW. Please understand that circumstances are different and people's lives are complicated and some are really hurting in their marriages, divorce is a sin that is forgiven because Jesus died for it! You're saying Jesus's blood isn't good enough to give us salvation because of divorce. We need to be more loving and more merciful and not just point fingers and be like the Pharisees.
Click to expand...

There is a fine line between legalism and correction. Yes there is certainly grace and forgiveness. But there is also living like sin doesn't matter or just saying certain things aren't sin anymore.
 
Divorce, as such, may occur on a number of levels in our lives. I appreciate the word refers to both religious and legal issues, but we separate ourselves simply because we no longer wish to play. It could be with our spouse, friends, God, Government, place of work, you name it. Reading through all the replies and examples, I also see a parallel not just in our physical lives, but also in our spiritual lives. Assuming both spouses are Christian: would you not find awkward to trust that God has found the right person for you, and then years later decide He really had not because you no longer trusted his wisdom? Did that not happen to Eve, and then later to Adam? And yet, do we not go back to the well thinking the next pail of water will be sweeter than the former? Unless you truly set your sights on being a good Christian role model, nothing you do will amount to anything positive simply because there is little consistency other than you change the rules when your rules get in the way. Do whatever you want; only you will have to give an account. Phil 4:8.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top