Member
My belief and my testimony about Divorce and Remarriage.
I've been married to my second husband, my Prince Charming, for 7 years. I am also his second wife. In the beginning we both believed that it was God who brought us together and orchestrated our whole getting together. We met online and spent two years getting to know eachother through emails, instant messages, photos, phone calls and we even sent cassette tapes back and forth talking to eachother. By the end of the two years, after much prayer, we had all the plans we needed for me to drive across country to be meet and marry him. It’s been the best 7 years of my life. I will always love him. But recently we have been seeking more of God. We’ve been trying to be holy before God. We’ve been praying for God to bring up any sin that’s still in us so that we could repent of it and get it all out so that we could be holy and blameless before God. Well shortly after praying that we learned something that literally tore our hearts out. We learned that because we were both in a second marriage, (and our former spouses were still alive) ours was an adulterous marriage. How heart wrenching! We couldn't believe that something so right could be so wrong. But there is a scripture in the bible that says: (Luke 16:18 “Whosoever puts away his wife, and marries another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery”.) And I am not going to do anything to jeopardize my future with Jesus, including holding on to my marriage. So in order to repent of this adulterous marriage I’d had to leave my Prince Charming. Because being with Jesus is my ultimate goal. There is also another scripture in the bible (Ezekiel 33:7-9 “So you, son of man: I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore you shall hear a word from My mouth and warn them for Me. When I say to the wicked, ‘O wicked man, you shall surely die!’ and you do not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. 9 Nevertheless if you warn the wicked to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.”) That makes me responsible to tell you this so that you who are also in second or more marriages will see the truth.
For those of you who have been, or are being convicted of being in a second marriage and are in the process of divorce and are still together in the same house until you can make other arrangements, the question may arise, "What do I do about the feelings that I still have for my spouse?" (After all, they don't just shut off automatically.) "Are these feelings adulterous too?" Well this depends on the feelings. If you are longing and missing your spouse because of the great love that you have for them, then they wouldn't be adulterous. But if you longing for them still, with sexual desires, then yes it would be adultery. Matt 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Here is where the power of the Holy Spirit has to be working in you, giving you the strength to make determined decisions to take those thoughts captive and not allow the enemy to tempt you with them. If you can remember that you are, actually, longing and missing what God sees as sin, then it might make it easier to take these thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. Remember that it's not beyond God's ability to remove those feelings altogether from you. As long as you are abiding in Him and seeking Him, giving up your will for His, and asking Him to remove them, He will.
Please know that I know oh so well how hard this is. And it truly will be a battle within you. A battle between your flesh and your spirit. Just remember why you are doing it. Because you love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and because continuing in an adulterous marriage grieves Him. The whole reason this came about was because John and I were seeking to be Holy before Him and asking Him to bring up sin in our lives. So when He showed us the sin, we did have the choice to either reject Him and grieve Him, or obey Him and please Him. And friends, this is what it means in Galatians 5:24 "And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." This means that we are to crucify our flesh, our wants and desires, if God is to be "God" in our lives, and if He is our first love. It means total surrender because of your love for Him and trusting Him to get you through the pain. Praise and thank Him continually. Worship Him through it. Remember when Paul and Silas were beaten and in prison, how they praised and worshiped God? That is how we are to be also. And friends He will get you through.
I’ll share with you below, all the passages of scripture and information that I’ve found on this.
The First Marriage
God introduces marriage in the garden. He created it for us. For us to become one flesh. A connection so great that it was never meant to be broken.
Genesis 2:21-25 “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Malachi 2:13-16: And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Matt 19:3-9 “And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Mark 10:6-9 6 But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Ephesians 5:30-32 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.”
Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Bound for Life
It is a connection so great that it was never meant to be broken. Bound to eachother for life.
Romans 7:2 “for the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives.
1 Corinthians 7:15 “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth”
1 Corinthians 7:39 “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.”
The Reason the One Exception does not Apply to Married People
God’s original plan was for marriage to be between two people, until death do they part. He intended for the two to become one flesh at the time of the consummation of marriage. Divorce was never a part of God’s plan. It’s not an option. After the marriage there are no grounds for divorce, except for the death of a spouse. Jesus did give one exception though. And the exception is actually only allowed during the betrothal period, not the marriage. It is fornication
In biblical times, a betrothal contract was created between both fathers and the two people involved. During this betrothal period, the couple was considered legally married by the signing of the contract. But if either one of them had sex with someone else during this betrothal time, it was called fornication and was grounds for divorce. (An example of this would be when Mary was found to be pregnant with Jesus prior to her marriage to Joseph. This was during their betrothal and under Jewish law he could have divorced her at that time for her supposed fornication. And he would have, had it not been for an angel appearing to him telling him not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife because she was conceived of Holy Spirit.) However, consummation of their marriage after the betrothal period was over would make it a binding marriage rather than a betrothal and any sex outside the marriage after that time was considered adultery and God made no way out for that. This is why Jesus refers to fornication as being a way out, because during the betrothal period the marriage would not have been consummated yet, so it was considered fornication. The betrothal period was the only time a divorce could take place, and not after the consummation of the marriage.
Matthew 5:31,32 “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry commits adultery: and whoso marries her who is put away does commit adultery.”
The Reason the Marriage is Considered Adultery
God sees a first marriage as binding and permanent, no matter what you might do as far as courts or divorce papers. No state divorce can nullify a marriage that God put together. And, God puts all first marriages together. In the eyes of God, you’re still one, for as long as you live. Even if you marry another person that second marriage is not valid in God’s eyes. According to God, the first marriage is still valid. That’s why the new one is adulterous.
Mark 10:11, 12 “And he says unto them, whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, commits adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18 Whosoever puts away his wife, and marries another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
1 Corinthians 6:9,10 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.”
Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Repentance
If you are in another marriage aside from your first one, and your spouse is still alive, it is considered an adulterous marriage and needs to be repented of. The only time that you are permitted to remarry is after your first spouse has passed away. (1 Corinthians 7:39) As with any other sin, repentance requires stopping of that sin. Therefore the repentance of an adulterous marriage requires the stopping of the marriage. Even if you ask for forgiveness while in the adulterous marriage that doesn’t mean that everything is ok. As long as you live within that second marriage you continue to commit adultery. And it doesn’t stop until you’re divorced. Repentance demands leaving the marriage. Christ will accept nothing less. "How shall we, who died to sin, live any longer in it?" (Rom. 6:2)
2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
Luke 13:3 “Unless you repent you will likewise perish”
1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Romans 6:1, 2 “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?”
Ezekiel 18:21-22 “But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.”
Job 11:14-15 “If iniquity were in your hand, and you put it far away, and would not let wickedness dwell in your tents; then surely you could lift up your face without spot; yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear.”
The Solution
The bible does give us options as to what to do after ending the adulterous marriage.
I Corinthians 7:11 “If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
I Corinthians 7:15 “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace…(v.39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 7:39 “But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
Romans 7:2,3 “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
Conclusion
For those of you who want to wait until God tells you if remarriage after divorce is ok, it already tells you in His word that it’s a sin. You don’t have to pray and fast or knock down heavens door in order to know the truth. The word already tells us plainly God’s view on divorce and remarriage. Just as the enemy twisted the truth that God gave to Adam and Eve in the garden, he is also twisting the truth about divorce and remarriage. He is fooling everyone into believing that marriage after divorce, while your former spouse still lives, is not a sin. There is nothing more important than your eternal salvation. If you continue in an adulterous remarriage, you will lose your salvation. If there is no repentance, this will lead to separation from God and a future in hell.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.”
I've been married to my second husband, my Prince Charming, for 7 years. I am also his second wife. In the beginning we both believed that it was God who brought us together and orchestrated our whole getting together. We met online and spent two years getting to know eachother through emails, instant messages, photos, phone calls and we even sent cassette tapes back and forth talking to eachother. By the end of the two years, after much prayer, we had all the plans we needed for me to drive across country to be meet and marry him. It’s been the best 7 years of my life. I will always love him. But recently we have been seeking more of God. We’ve been trying to be holy before God. We’ve been praying for God to bring up any sin that’s still in us so that we could repent of it and get it all out so that we could be holy and blameless before God. Well shortly after praying that we learned something that literally tore our hearts out. We learned that because we were both in a second marriage, (and our former spouses were still alive) ours was an adulterous marriage. How heart wrenching! We couldn't believe that something so right could be so wrong. But there is a scripture in the bible that says: (Luke 16:18 “Whosoever puts away his wife, and marries another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery”.) And I am not going to do anything to jeopardize my future with Jesus, including holding on to my marriage. So in order to repent of this adulterous marriage I’d had to leave my Prince Charming. Because being with Jesus is my ultimate goal. There is also another scripture in the bible (Ezekiel 33:7-9 “So you, son of man: I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore you shall hear a word from My mouth and warn them for Me. When I say to the wicked, ‘O wicked man, you shall surely die!’ and you do not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. 9 Nevertheless if you warn the wicked to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.”) That makes me responsible to tell you this so that you who are also in second or more marriages will see the truth.
For those of you who have been, or are being convicted of being in a second marriage and are in the process of divorce and are still together in the same house until you can make other arrangements, the question may arise, "What do I do about the feelings that I still have for my spouse?" (After all, they don't just shut off automatically.) "Are these feelings adulterous too?" Well this depends on the feelings. If you are longing and missing your spouse because of the great love that you have for them, then they wouldn't be adulterous. But if you longing for them still, with sexual desires, then yes it would be adultery. Matt 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Here is where the power of the Holy Spirit has to be working in you, giving you the strength to make determined decisions to take those thoughts captive and not allow the enemy to tempt you with them. If you can remember that you are, actually, longing and missing what God sees as sin, then it might make it easier to take these thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. Remember that it's not beyond God's ability to remove those feelings altogether from you. As long as you are abiding in Him and seeking Him, giving up your will for His, and asking Him to remove them, He will.
Please know that I know oh so well how hard this is. And it truly will be a battle within you. A battle between your flesh and your spirit. Just remember why you are doing it. Because you love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and because continuing in an adulterous marriage grieves Him. The whole reason this came about was because John and I were seeking to be Holy before Him and asking Him to bring up sin in our lives. So when He showed us the sin, we did have the choice to either reject Him and grieve Him, or obey Him and please Him. And friends, this is what it means in Galatians 5:24 "And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit." This means that we are to crucify our flesh, our wants and desires, if God is to be "God" in our lives, and if He is our first love. It means total surrender because of your love for Him and trusting Him to get you through the pain. Praise and thank Him continually. Worship Him through it. Remember when Paul and Silas were beaten and in prison, how they praised and worshiped God? That is how we are to be also. And friends He will get you through.
I’ll share with you below, all the passages of scripture and information that I’ve found on this.
The First Marriage
God introduces marriage in the garden. He created it for us. For us to become one flesh. A connection so great that it was never meant to be broken.
Genesis 2:21-25 “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Malachi 2:13-16: And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Matt 19:3-9 “And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Mark 10:6-9 6 But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Ephesians 5:30-32 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.”
Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Bound for Life
It is a connection so great that it was never meant to be broken. Bound to eachother for life.
Romans 7:2 “for the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives.
1 Corinthians 7:15 “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth”
1 Corinthians 7:39 “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.”
The Reason the One Exception does not Apply to Married People
God’s original plan was for marriage to be between two people, until death do they part. He intended for the two to become one flesh at the time of the consummation of marriage. Divorce was never a part of God’s plan. It’s not an option. After the marriage there are no grounds for divorce, except for the death of a spouse. Jesus did give one exception though. And the exception is actually only allowed during the betrothal period, not the marriage. It is fornication
In biblical times, a betrothal contract was created between both fathers and the two people involved. During this betrothal period, the couple was considered legally married by the signing of the contract. But if either one of them had sex with someone else during this betrothal time, it was called fornication and was grounds for divorce. (An example of this would be when Mary was found to be pregnant with Jesus prior to her marriage to Joseph. This was during their betrothal and under Jewish law he could have divorced her at that time for her supposed fornication. And he would have, had it not been for an angel appearing to him telling him not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife because she was conceived of Holy Spirit.) However, consummation of their marriage after the betrothal period was over would make it a binding marriage rather than a betrothal and any sex outside the marriage after that time was considered adultery and God made no way out for that. This is why Jesus refers to fornication as being a way out, because during the betrothal period the marriage would not have been consummated yet, so it was considered fornication. The betrothal period was the only time a divorce could take place, and not after the consummation of the marriage.
Matthew 5:31,32 “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry commits adultery: and whoso marries her who is put away does commit adultery.”
The Reason the Marriage is Considered Adultery
God sees a first marriage as binding and permanent, no matter what you might do as far as courts or divorce papers. No state divorce can nullify a marriage that God put together. And, God puts all first marriages together. In the eyes of God, you’re still one, for as long as you live. Even if you marry another person that second marriage is not valid in God’s eyes. According to God, the first marriage is still valid. That’s why the new one is adulterous.
Mark 10:11, 12 “And he says unto them, whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, commits adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18 Whosoever puts away his wife, and marries another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
1 Corinthians 6:9,10 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.”
Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Repentance
If you are in another marriage aside from your first one, and your spouse is still alive, it is considered an adulterous marriage and needs to be repented of. The only time that you are permitted to remarry is after your first spouse has passed away. (1 Corinthians 7:39) As with any other sin, repentance requires stopping of that sin. Therefore the repentance of an adulterous marriage requires the stopping of the marriage. Even if you ask for forgiveness while in the adulterous marriage that doesn’t mean that everything is ok. As long as you live within that second marriage you continue to commit adultery. And it doesn’t stop until you’re divorced. Repentance demands leaving the marriage. Christ will accept nothing less. "How shall we, who died to sin, live any longer in it?" (Rom. 6:2)
2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
Luke 13:3 “Unless you repent you will likewise perish”
1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Romans 6:1, 2 “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?”
Ezekiel 18:21-22 “But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.”
Job 11:14-15 “If iniquity were in your hand, and you put it far away, and would not let wickedness dwell in your tents; then surely you could lift up your face without spot; yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear.”
The Solution
The bible does give us options as to what to do after ending the adulterous marriage.
I Corinthians 7:11 “If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
I Corinthians 7:15 “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace…(v.39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 7:39 “But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
Romans 7:2,3 “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
Conclusion
For those of you who want to wait until God tells you if remarriage after divorce is ok, it already tells you in His word that it’s a sin. You don’t have to pray and fast or knock down heavens door in order to know the truth. The word already tells us plainly God’s view on divorce and remarriage. Just as the enemy twisted the truth that God gave to Adam and Eve in the garden, he is also twisting the truth about divorce and remarriage. He is fooling everyone into believing that marriage after divorce, while your former spouse still lives, is not a sin. There is nothing more important than your eternal salvation. If you continue in an adulterous remarriage, you will lose your salvation. If there is no repentance, this will lead to separation from God and a future in hell.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.”