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Discussion in 'Bible Answers' started by Chad, Aug 20, 2006.

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  1. Interestingly tonight the family that split up in my church, the wife came with her two daughters. She didnt stay for the meal but to say hello and wish happy birthday to another church member.

    She is the adulterous one, I know this because her parents told me. And also the friend in church who was a close neighbour to the former couple. It was announced in church by the husband they were separated and they both left our church after, he went to another church and she didnt go back to any church. The other couple which split and was the adulterous husband with the wife they both left. I wasnt really around when all this happened but I knew that those three except the innocent husband were taken off the membership list of the church.

    Not everyone knows in the church what happened of course. But even so people still pray they will reconcile because of their four children.

    The children were happy to come to church and join in with the others for games and i told them they were missed, the youngest had grown up fast and nearly as tall as her mother. I had a chat with the wife/mother..but it was just small talk she and I have never many deep conversations with her about God.

    I dont know how God is working in her but since shes good friends with a few of the members (but still unrepentant and living in sin) shes drawn back to church. She could have visited the church member at home or rang her but she didnt. So I think there is hope. She didnt come with her new bf on her arm.

    I dont think that bf was ever welcome back if he showed his face in church because that adukterous couple totally pretneded they were christians and then the husband goes and commits adultery stealing the wife of his supposed best mate. They were on the worship team and everything but...The guy said something regarding Mary mother of Jesus that was very unchristian and made me question was he a believer or not. They were as some people politely put it 'gender diverse' the wife turns out lesbian and the husband a cross dresser. But they hid it.

    Anyway..the whole thing was weird and crazy and its not my place to judge and i havent been asked to help to sort out anything between them. But you see I was at their wedding, i was and still am their neighbour they were married in the sight of God and their children are raised christians. So I always hope and pray that God will work in their marriage even though at the moment they are seperated and the wife unrepentant. Her parents Im sure are praying too. They love their son in law who did not do anything was all very sad and a shock to the congregation.

    To me they were quite opposite personalities though and I think marriage scan be more difficult when you dont have likeminded temperments. He quiet , introvert and she's loud and extrovert.

    But i still feel odd cos I cant just ask her hows her husband..i suppose I can but it would be awkward since what do you say when a couple is separated? Do you say..are you back together yet did you ditch the bf? just come out with it?!

    I mean whats the worse she can do, lie to me and pretend? I have seen couples I know actually split up yet pretend they are still together, and they didnt know I knew.

    Yea crazy.
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  2. I think the worst is just knowing the wife broke her husbands heart and how she Cant see that or care.

    The friend that knew the husband as was a close neighbour to him (before she moved away) said he just cried and cried for days when he found out. I mean how can you hurt your spouse so much it makes them cry and just not care.

    Some people are just cruel. Ive known people that laugh at tears and to me thats just wicked, and not right. I think that just a symptom of a proud and hardened heart.
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  3. @Lanolin
    Probably everyone has had a streak of cruelty in them. Some of them struggle against it while others apparently feed it so it grows worse. This is all people. Then there is the Christian. This one also has had this cruel streak, but if he is paying attention to what God is saying, he working against and/or allowing God to work to root out that tendency toward cruelty.

    So then we have a church situation with young believers and old believers. Some of them young only in their flesh while others who look elderly are babes in the Lord still never moving past a diet of milk. Likewise some of them are matured in the Spirit and are partaking now other meat of the Word of God. The whole congregation may quite diverse mixture of all of the above and various levels some between the high places and low places.

    People get taken in by false witnesses who have pretended to be real witnesses for Christ. Our only real defense when we comes to such people and situations is stand firm with God and His Son all the way. God loses no battles, so if we always remain on His side the end will be Good.

    Ah but then we look at all those varieties of people in the congregation and we take our own eyes off of Jesus. What happens as a result may be that we find ourselves with Peter sinking into the water of a drowning humanity. We don't want to do this, but if we do, we along with Peter are still able to call out, "Lord save me" and Jesus will take hold of our hand and lift us up.

    We cannot lift up everyone else. Each of them must call out to the Lord for themselves, but what we can do is ask the Lord help them to ask for help for themselves. The choice in the end is theirs, but intercessory prayer will help them to at least see that they do have another choice.

    Give God the glory!
  4. Thats true you cant solve the problems of everyone in the church (and if you not the pastor its not your role anyway) lest you get drawn and entangled in their troubles as well.

    But you can always pray for them and comfort those who got hurt.

    I try not to get involved in every little drama and would prefer not to, but sometimes it will affect you. And then you do need to know how to deal with it and be the wise one or the strong one to restore those who are weak.
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  5. I was at the christian bookstore yesterday and one of the ladies there was led to pray for as a friend did share that she was going through a divorce. She doesnt know that I know but when I asked her how she was she seemed sad. Well she would be if her husband was unfaithful.

    The conversation soon turned to what I was doing and when she found out I was gardening she said she needed a gardener as her garden was out of control. Am not sure what to do...
    Then she had another customer and the conversation ended so I thought do I offer practical help or do I just sympathise?

    She does have children I think they are in their teens.

    If I offer gardening for her it might lift her spirits on one hand on the other if took time to tend it herself it would help her much more than if I did it because gardening is therapeutic. Unless I did it for free. But yea. I dont know. What do you do?
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  6. Maybe just pray. i mean if I did her garden it would be less time to do my own and all then others that I already do. But I could refer her to someone elses I suppose. But then they might not be christians or people that know her, or they might charge her a lot of money. One lady in church tried to get someone cheap to do her garden and he ended up conning her out of money and not finishing her garden, it was so terrible.

    So what happened was me and another church member offered our services. It was hard work as the garden was so overgrown. The lady was a widow and..I suppose the same as what happens to divorcees or abandoned women..,they have problems with paying bills etc. and sometimes they can be so cranky and you wonder how they got into such a state.

    Also they cannot afford to take time off work and get behind on their bills having no spouse..end up working when they are sick..and that makes it even worse....!
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  7. To help or not to help a lady in need with her be gardening? I won't say yea or nay and you do seem to have a handle on it by praying about it. Praying for God's guidance is never wrong. But if we get an answer it is best to pay attention to what He says.
    Wired 4 Fishen likes this.
  8. Yes. It just seems so many people I know are affected by their husbands adulttery. When I worked in the library about half the ladies there were split up from their husbands, because of cheating and or adultery /unfaithfulness.

    End up consoling them in the lunchroom and some would be crying their eyes out. The good thing was they had their work to go to, though. I think be harder if the ladies didnt have that.

    I think prayer is the first thing you should do when that happens.
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  9. Prayer Needs to be first in Every Situation.
    Sadly enough there are just as many women who cheat on their husbands as well.
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  10. Yes, well, the thing is I would know what to say to the innocent party..but the adulterer/cheater...I'm have no excuse and I've got no sympathy for you.

    But adulterers are rarely coming to me with their sob stories. Except I did have this one lady who was a divorcee and going on about it, until I realised she was the cheating one, cos her story didnt ring true. She was trying to justify her divorce. In my experience the excuse given is 'financial difficulties' and the fact that they cheated or lusting for someone else is glossed over.
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    Wired 4 Fishen likes this.
  11. Am
    Today as I was gardening my mentor told me she's offering free backyard garden set ups so next time I'm at the bookshop may give her a flyer for it.
    Friend said to me that the husband was in a 'christian' band and had an affair on the road, took off and left her with all the bills. How rotten. I'm beginning to think those 'christian' bands are a cover for something else.
  12. Of course anyone may be tempted anywhere, but sometimes we go places where it is even worse because we really did not consult God about it. before proceeding. Consider the man of God out Judah in I Kings chapter 13. He was a man of God, but he got himself into serious trouble because he failed to always consult God before acting.
  13. ? are you talking about adultery. Not sure what that's got to do with the story in 1 Kings 13?

    Of course people aren't even consulting God when they go off and commit adultery! Lions are prowling about seeking whom they may devour when they go off track I suppose. I don't think it's a failure to consult with God - it's just disobedience.
    B-A-C likes this.
  14. Yes, about adultery and other sins. The wages of sin, be adultery or other is death.
  15. In my family, one aunty married a cheating lying husband. We knew she was making a mistake because it was like he seduced her and she got pregnant before marrying him, and it was obvious he wasn't good for her and trying to get residency. She didn't listen though and thought she was 'in love'.

    Anyway they had two children, (my cousins) and then about ten years or so later, he started cheating on her with another lady at his work. her sisters, my mother and grandmother were suspicious and suspected something was up (I don't know this at the time) and actually caught him in the act they followed him and found him with the other lady.

    then after they found out I think they told my aunty and she was a wreck but of course there was nothing much she could do - as she made the choice to marry him. However what happened was this husband (my uncle..although can't really say he really was as we hardly spoke to him) got diagnosed with cancer and died about two years later. Leaving my aunty a widow. She is fine without him and didn't marry again.

    When I think how the wages of sin is death..well adultery is serious folks. I don't want to say that everyone that dies young in a horrible way is having judgement on them but sometimes it makes you wonder. If he lived would there have been a chance for him to repent or is it a mercy he died?
  16. I have no idea if the other lady was married. Does that make it adultery even if she wasn't?
  17. Only one person (of the two having the affair) has to be married in order for it to qualify as adultery.

    How many times did God tell Israel they were committing adultery? I'm pretty sure it wasn't God committing the adultery.
  18. If both are married does that make it double adultery. Or does that compound the crime. This is where I get hopelessly confused trying to sort out who did what.

    I am glad I am not a judge or divorce lawyer. I would be like.. if you didn't commit adultery, sort it out. If you did, I'm sorry adulterers you two ought to go to (separate) jails and kept locked away until you repent and go back to your spouse. But the thing is the spouse probably doesn't want them back after that.

    I haven't counted how many times God told Israel they were committing adultery...but I remember Jesus saying they were a wicked and adulterous generation. So probably a lot?!
  19. If an entire generation is wicked and adulterous then there's not much hope for single people wanting to be married and expecting it to last. :-(

    I don't know if it was really common generations ago but I have noticed that maybe its more common these days.

    I had this friend who's partner cheated on her, they weren't married, so its kind of not as serious but she was still devastated after finding out. They had a son, and it was some silly facebook old high school flame and he was doing the dirty while she was hard at work, you know earning money so her son could go to school. On night shifts.

    She's a christian now.

    Anyway she had this meetup with me and several of her friends to celebrate her graduation. It turns out EVERYone of her friends, had their husband cheat on them and they were married with children. oy

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