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Discussion in 'Bible Answers' started by Chad, Aug 20, 2006.

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  1. I believe your comment is out of context. The reason why God was able to divorce (and remarry Israel) without any adultery being involved was because - per Romans 7:2-3 - a married woman (Israel, in this example) remains bound to her husband as long as he lives. After he dies, she can remarry without being an adulteress. Therefore, after God (the husband) divorced her, He died (on the cross), and then remarried her = no adultery.

    Also, regarding : "If God can get a divorce and not be accused of Adultery", according to biblical law the man was never the adulterer, it was always the woman.
  2. #62 B-A-C, Apr 27, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2012
    You might want to take a look at Lev 20:10; Prov 6:32; Jer 5:7; and of course Matt 5:28

    (I notice in the ESV pop-up version it says "everyone"(which would include males) but the NASB and KJV specifically say "man".)
    There are female specific verses also.

    However I agree with your comment to trucker. God didn't commit adultery with Israel.
    It takes at least 3 people for adultery to occur.

  3. Thank you for your comments. Yes, I am aware of those verses, there's also Luke 16:16-18, etc. And as I mostly use the NKJV and NIV I am for the most part unaware of what other translations say about different things.

    I thought about my posting after I hit the "submit reply" button, wondering if it would be misunderstood, or if I should have worded it clearer. Anyway, I did not mean to imply that only women could be adulterers, just that when adultery is mentioned in the bible it is usually about women. IE: Proverbs does not talk about adulterous men, but it does of women.

    Although both men and women could commit adultery in the bible, the biblical standards for adultery were different for women than for men. Men could use prostitutes without incurring social disapproval (see the story of Tamar and Judah) but women were severely punished if they had sex outside marriage. Men used prostitutes, but the woman had to be absolutely blameless in sexual matters.

    Also, my understanding is thus: the only way a man could be an adulterer (physical adultery), under biblical law, was if he had relations with a MARRIED woman. Relations with an unmarried woman did not constitute adultery for a man.
    On the other hand, a married woman was an adulteress if she had relations with any man not her husband. I am no expert on this subject, so I welcome feedback if I am wrong.
  4. I have read alot of opinions but no real grounds to back them up, Getsaved you was right to start with it is adultery to be married to her, and to get out of it you would have to divource her, as the word says in romens ch 6. " what shall we say then, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God for bid." if we are living in sin, we have falling from grace, the goodness that God would bestow on his children, for the "wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedence" sound to me like some of these are sugar coating the truth.

    Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

    and see by this verse. by you marring her you are living in sin.

    Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
    Mar 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
    Mar 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
    Mar 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

    these not hard to be understood, God creating male an female, and when they are married they leave the care of there parents and start there life together not as 2 people, as the word says they are no longer twain(two) but one flesh, joined togather in marriage.... verse 9 real important... " what God has joined together what did he put together he put 1 man with 1 women. he didnt put adam with 2 or 3,4... but 1... the same with eve.. 1 man.

    because of our own lust and desires we think we have to have another person to make us happy... not true. we are complete in Christ!

    and the scripture in duet ch 24 is the only place that gives anyone a right to get a divorce but see we are not under the law, but under grace, and by grace we are brought closer to God thru christ, it makes it a more personal relationship with him, and that what it is, is a marriage between christ and his bride( the church) does christ have 2 living wifes??... or can his bride have 2 living husbands?? in other words can we be saved an lost at the same time? strattle the fence? once we are saved we became his bride, he gave himself for us, loved us and does care for us. but we can not serve 2 masters, romans ch 7 gives a great example of our marraige to christ,

    Rom 7:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

    we are not married to the law no more, married to christ in newness of life... the old life is gone. so by this i see that we have a perfect example of how a marriage is. christ has one wife, and the wife has one husband...

    sence my wife has left me, my faith in this has been tried, and i lie you not.. i am bound to her as long as she is alive, divorced or not.

    Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

    God loves and will honor 2 single people( man an women) in marriage, saved or not saved...but the adultery and fornicator, his word judges them already,unless they repent. to get out of that judgement.

    Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
    Gal 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
    Gal 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

    I know there are a great multitude of people on here that will disagree with me on this, but i will not argue, "study and show thy approved before God a workmen that needth not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth"....

    study and pray, search the scriptures, all of them...old an new testament.

  5. The reason for divorce was on the grounds of adultery. However, when someone cheats on their spouse the covenant and the union is broken. Some marriages a man and woman decides to enter in was not ordained by God. But He will honor it because we have free will. We see the signs and flags and we didn't seek his consult and end up living a nightmare.
  6. #66 B-A-C, Nov 24, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2012
    The Bible is pretty clear on this. First you shouldn't get divorced. But if you do God forgives.
    The Bible says if you marry a divorced person you are committing adultery.
    Matt 5:32; Mark 10:11-12
    Now of course we shouldn't go out and look for a divorced person to marry.
    Especially if they were the one to initiate the divorce. But God forgives even this.
    David committed adultery in 2 Sam 11. (Not only that, he later had her husband killed)

    2 Sam 11:3 So David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, "Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?"
    2 Sam 11:4 David sent messengers and took her, and when she came to him, he lay with her; and when she had purified herself from her uncleanness, she returned to her house.
    2 Sam 11:5 The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, "I am pregnant."

    Now they lost this first child, Nathan prophesied God would take it's life. 2 Sam 12:14
    But their second child became Solomon the King who wrote the book of Solomon. 2 Sam 12:24

    So yes David sinned. But he repented. Psalms 51
    Because he repented, God said David was a man after his own heart. Acts 13:22

    He didn't divorce Bathsheba to "make it right", he simply asked for forgiveness.
    In fact, it would be committing another sin on top of the first sin. Much like a young girl who gets pregnant out of wedlock, and then
    has an abortion to "fix it". The second sin is worse than the first. Besides, is there anything we can really do to "fix" sin. All of our
    righteousness is as filthy rags. ( Isa 64:6 ) Only Jesus can fix it. If we could fix our own sins, why would we need Jesus?

    Mal 2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
  7. God sometimes endorses divorce.

    Too true, too true!

    My first wife was unfaithful, although she like me was a Christian. We had difficulty throughout the marriage, and I guess the marriage was not initiated by the Lord. Even though things had soon become a struggle, I still believed that I had made a covenant for life when I got married. There was constant conflict between us as she fought to control every aspect of the marriage, threatening divorce regularly. She came from a very dominant female household and a mother who totally despised her husband. (Her mother always despised me, her son in law, too). Nevertheless, I always believed that God could change us both if we humbled ourselves

    After about 25 years of struggle she had an affair, which I didn't discover for some time. I forgave her, but a couple of years later she walked out anyway.

    I still held out for restoration as I still believed that it was God's best. So for a year I battled in prayer and intercession and doing spiritual warfare to restore the marriage. Among other demonic strongholds I was taking authority over spirits of deception in her life. My daily cry was, "Lord change my wife and change me."

    Then one day the Lord spoke to me. "If I could change Sheila, I would have changed Adam". I was shocked at the blunt clarity of the words, but even more I was suddenly and totally released in my spirit from the marriage. I knew instantly that God had another future for me and I had to let go..

    In saying what he did, God was also illustrating a principle. Regarding my ex-wife God, was saying that he would never put his hand inside her and flip the obedience switch to the on position. That would totally violate her freewill. If he could do that in anyone's life, then he would have done it first with Adam!

    God was also letting me know that she was not in deception over her decision. She had made a willful choice to leave with full knowledge of its wrongness. It was a case of, "Therefore stop praying because it will not change her".

    Praise God. He knows the plans he has for us, for hope and a future. He really did have a wife of his choosing hidden away for me. I am now remarried to a wonderful woman who rejoices in walking close to God and to me. No more battles!
  8. EEveryone is a Sinner forever in the Flesh mind and Body ! That Why He makes Us a new creature ! The flesh cannot be perfected !GOd does not use all stuff to make New Stuff ! He is Creator ! He creates out of nothing ! That why He told us about the wine bottles! He makes us a New creature and gives us a new body !

    2Co_5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

    Luk_5:38 But new wine must be put into new bottles; and both are preserved.

    1Jn_3:2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
    Meaning Nothing WE SEE is How we will look !

    This is the Only WAY HE Creates ! He makes New things , perfect things out of nothing !

    Heb_11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.

    2Co_4:18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
    Nothing We see on this Planet is Perfect! It All Been defiled by Sin 100%

    Listen , We must understand What Salvation is , before we going to understand much else correctly !

    Salvation is a New Spirit being ! A new birth ! We are Babies in our Spirit at Salvation ! We can appear very carnal at our beginning ! because we still have the Old Spirits thoughts in our Flesh mind !which is against God and HIS kingdom !

    Our new spirit has the Same type mind and nature as our LORD JESUS CHRIST ! That why it cannot sin 1 The flesh mind and body can still Sin ! It is not Perfected , nor will it ever be ! But renewing it , is replacing those old thoughts with God living words ! And accepting them as perfect Truth !
    1Co_2:16 For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.
    2Pe_1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

    Gal_4:19 My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you,

    1Jn_3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

    1Pe_1:23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

    Heb_5:13 For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.
    1Pe_2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

    Heb_5:13 For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.
    1Pe_2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

    1Co_15:44 It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.
  9. Am reading this thread lots of interesting points esp about the difference between men and women in terms of adultery..And also acting on your level of faith, and another good point about people having free will.

    I think when children are involved it does get messy. My concern is the children because Im the one ministering with them mostly. How does it feel for children to know their parent is unfaithful or an adulterer/adulteress, and sometimes to have to live with mum or dads new bf or gf..and want kind of example are they following in the future will young ones really know how to handle it when their home is ripped apart?

    Do the children see the new person as mum or dad?
    Another thing that wasnt brought up is whether the marriage was in the Lord or not, you truly have to to examine your heart and ask why you married at first was it the one God wanted you to marry or did you marry for any other reason. Because we cannot be unequally yoked with unbelievers and this is really important for christians. Sometimes people can fall away but if you truly believe this marriage was in the Lord its worth standing for and praying for. And this is your level of faith, but also dont deceive yourself either. Many people pretend to be christians. I know quite a few women who believed they had married christian husbands and they turned out anything but. But it does turn out that they were deceived.

    And when you examine the marriage why they said yes, it was they pursued the man, felt sorry for him or desperately wanted children...they didnt really ask God first.

    I do think it comes down to..are you equally yoked. Do you truly know the heart of your beloved? If you the one in the wrong and you repent, then sin no more is the other person actually going to forgive you? If your spouse is the wrong one do they actually repent and ask forgiveness.

    I have seen a couple where the wife committed adultery and wouldnt repent. Sometimes you need to separate while the wife goes off and does this and pray she comes back. But you could be waiting a long time. How long would you wait, Does it depend on her or is the marriage worth saving was it founded on faith? Or would you let her go seeing as she doesnt want to live with you and had turned out to be an unbeliever. I do think it comes down to is the person actually a believer or not. If both are believers then you have something to work with because its in Gods interest for you to stay together. For that is how you met and your children are called to be holy. But if one spouse isnt or really decides to turn away we arent called to bondage. Bondage is when you marry an unbeliever.

    This has made me think of the binding and loosing passages in the Bible and it does seem to me they are related to divorce in these cases..churches have the authority to say whether a marriage is binding or whther its better to be free. But there is also that level of faith of whether your unsaved spouse will turn and be saved.
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  10. Churches are simply people. Even God will not change His Word, so how would be people be allowed to do so? God Himself is limited by what He has already spoken [His Word or the Word of God] and this why He will not force a person to come to Him the first time or to come back to Him when a person has left. This is what people have named free will. According to God people only really have two choices: to go God's Way or to go their own way. God will help us if we sincerely ask for His help and open ourselves to His help. Whatever we choose, God can only help us insofar as we allow it and insofar as we are not breaking His Word:

    "Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel." Psalm 78:41

    In the NT, we still are able to "limit God'. We do so when we quench the Holy Spirit in us:

    "Quench not the Spirit." I Thess 5:19
    KingJ likes this.
  11. Because isnt it the testimony of other believers in church that you know if someone is following God or not?
    When someone is in a troubled marriage and there is adultery how does anyone know if they dont tell it to the church? Thats when people can decide if they want to stay in this marriage or let the unbeliever depart isnt it?

    You are not meant to go to court over it, ONLY if someone is an unbeliever, believers are not meant to go to court and sue each other over marriage disputes they meant to sort it out with God first. If they cant do this then a judge is called in. We first judge within the church then if thats impossible resort to court rulings, also adulterers arent meant to stay in church unless they repent.

    Jesus has actually given us the authority to bind and loose as believers in the church. Have a look at those binding and loosing passages as they immendiately follow disciplinary action. Check out Matthew 18:18. the only time I know of people being removed or told to leave church is when someone has committed the early church this was so, we are told to NOT keep company with them.
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  12. They cant stay in church with an 'open marriage' and pretend its ok. Just because people are married doesnt mean always that one spouse is a believer. And you cant force a person to go to church.

    This is for the protection of other believers. There was one instance where a member of the early church was sleeping with his mother in law and told to leave.

    I know of some members being told to leave when their adultery was made public. When they were being adulterous, which also meant they were being deceptive, they were in church and pretending to be christians all that time. Sometimes even ministers that commit adultery HAVE to be told to leave only they are afraid cos its like their job.
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  13. Telling what we know about someone else's troubles in order to help allow help to be provided could of course be a good thing, but this does not mean to everyone everything. We know that too many people who sit on a pew regularly simply want to know the 'juicy' details and have no hesitation in sharing those details most everyone for the wrong reasons.

    Unless it is my job, I hesitate to open my mouth to speak everything to everyone about everything that I have heard.
    What job is mine in the church? That is the one that I will do.

    God doesn't want people to sin, but they do and this too often includes believers. Whose job is it to clean up their act for them? Not mine. This doesn't mean I wouldn't try help if someone asked for my help. Sometimes even then it is necessary to decline. Jesus certainly did so here:

    "And he said unto him, Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you? " Luke 12:14

    The powers that be make the decisions they make. A correct decision requires input from God, the only one who always knows all of the facts.
  14. Well no, not the whole world has to know but Matthew 18 does say if that person does NOT repent, after youve gone to them and also with other witnesses, you tell it to the church.

    They dont need to know the gory details, but you do have to announce it at some point..that so and so have separated and are NOT getting back together. People can work it out for themselves when the guilty party does not come back to church or not a member anymore. But the Bible does say and makes explicit some of the reasons why some people were removed from church. Adultery is serious people, you dont want an adulterous person in church with their eye on the ladies (or men) and not respecting other peoples marriages flaunting a carnal relationship.
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  15. Whos job is it to teach and mind the children of divorced parents? Actually it soon falls to everyone else who isnt married or anyone the divorcee can latch on to.

    Some people dont realise that adultery and divorce splits up not just a marriage but entire laws included. A house divided cannot stand.

    These broken marriages then affect everyone else around them..when a mother is calling on help cos her baby has fallen asleep in the car and NOBODY else is around cos the dad is absent she cant do anything she has to stay there. This is just one example there are literally thouands of things others need to do for single parents because its hard to be a single parent! I wouldnt choose to be one!

    And do the children choose to not have a mum or dad? Noooo.
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  16. Amadeus2 if there are gossips in your church leave it cos busybodies are as bad as murderers. I dont know people like that in church if I did I would leave that church.

    When someone commits adultery and unrepentant about it its pretty obvious and in public. But look what jesus said to the woman caught in adultery... yes she was gulity and her reputation ruined but that was not slander it actually happened. What did he say? GO AND SIN NO MORE.

    He gave her the opportunity to repent and ask forgiveness. This is what we as christians do. If a person is unrepentant then thats a different story. They cannot stay on as believers in the church. They have made a choice, of lust over the love of God and a covenant marriage.
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  17. At what age should we decide to get married?
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  18. Or is a decent age to get married?
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  19. I saw a comment in here suggesting divorce is not that serious as many pastors are on there second wives.

    I find the way so called Christians try justify divorce outside of scripture hilarious. ''God loves you, that's all that matters''.

    Yes, God does love you. But you clearly don't love him.

    Pastors on their second wives have to prove to the congregation that their wife was unfaithful, or left them. The rule is that a Christian always sticks to the marriage.

    Adultery is grounds for divorce but you do better to forgive and accept them back. Physical /mental abuse is not grounds for divorce. Physical abuse often comes as a result of adultery. The spouse doing this (woman and men can abuse) has lost respect for their spouse. Does not care to repair a situation, rather lashes out. All signs of an adulterous heart. One not wanting to continue putting effort in the relationship. A Christian being physically abused must enforce counseling and immediate temporary separation. Not divorce.

    The only times a Christian may remarry is if their ex left them, died, or there was actual adultery. Many like to say the thought of adultery is actual adultery, so do not judge. No, the thought of adultery is a sin. Like Adam and Eve thinking / contemplating eating the forbidden fruit. Actual adultery is on par with them actually eating the fruit. You have to contrast Matt 5:28 (thought) with Matt 5:32 (deed).

    It is also important to note that scripture refers to adulterers not being in heaven. Note the plural. Someone who repents and turns from this is no longer an adulterer.

    If you are in a marriage with someone who is guilty of adultery by leaving there ex on non biblical grounds, it would depend on how recently they were guilty of it. Whether a long or short time lapse, they are guilty of sin and need to repent. But if it is recent, they should leave you and reconcile with their ex. Unless their ex has moved on.
  20. Anytime after 21. I would say the chief criteria for readiness is how spiritually mature you are...and how much time you need to completely trust your spouse to be's commitment to God's word.
    Michaela0215 likes this.

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