Continuing on where I left off, and I am not building a doctrine around this, for I have not done an in-depth study yet on divine healing, but the life of Joni Eareckson Tada has always been an inspiration to me. What if God had healed her of her quadraplegia? She wouldn't have done what she did, most likely, and she would not have impacted thousands (maybe millions) of lives for Jesus Christ the way she did. Her songs ministered to me so many times. The Lord used the songs she sang to inspire me and to give me courage and strength to keep going in difficult times, which I had many. And, I sang them, too, as testimony to what God was doing in my own life and heart.
I have always had sinus trouble. I think they call it sinusitis. I have gunk draining down my throat on a regular basis. And, I am a singer. God never healed that, though I asked him. His answer to me was the same one he gave to Paul, and it had to do with keeping me humble, and helping me to realize that every time I sang I was totally dependent on God and not on myself for even the voice to sing, which is what it talks about in 2 Corinthians 1. And, that I would accept whatever voice he chose to give me, too, even if it cracked. And, that God had greater purposes than I realized for why he did not heal my sinusitis.
A couple of years ago someone approached me about professionally recording one of the songs God had given me to write. I immediately told him "No." I am old. My voice is old. It is cracking. Then he asked me if I had prayed about it. I had to admit I had not. Yet, as soon as I did God just poured the answer "Go" into my head in so many different ways, so we made arrangements to record the song, and began the process long-distance. Then, right before we were to travel to Nashville, TN, I got a bad cold and laryngitis and I had no voice. So, I prayed about it, and the Lord encouraged me to go and that he would make a way where there seemed to be no way. My husband was on board with this, so we went, not knowing if I would have a voice that day or not. That morning, still no voice. When it came time to record, though, all of a sudden the voice was there, maybe not the best sounding voice, but the one God wanted me to have for that particular song and for its message. And, through this I was able to give testimony to the miracle God did that morning when he took over and he provided the voice for the song. So, I believe sometimes God delays healing, at least, because he has greater purposes, like with the man who was born blind, in order that God might display his work in him when he did heal him. God wanted to display his miracle working power in my life that day for a reason, perhaps to teach me to rest in him more and more.
And, then I wonder. When it talks of gifts of healing, could there be more than one way we can be healed, like with Joni, or when God takes people home to heaven? I have known several very godly women who died from cancer. They believed God for healing. They had hundreds of people praying for their healing, but they died. Well, we are all going to die one day, so is that healing? I believe it is. But, I don't have this all worked out yet. Paul told Timothy to take wine for his stomach ailment. Why wasn't he healed? Just thinking out loud right now.
Anyway, if you want to hear the song I spoke of, here it is:
