Well hello my new Sister Lynette, what a pretty name for a Gal with a pretty heart for Jesus. Just the fact that you appreciate Charles Spurgeon' writings, you become a favored friend of mine. Ah yes, repentance. I'm so very glad that our Heavenly Father knows our hearts Lynette. There are many times when I ponder the love of God Who designed His plan of Salvation to include me!! If you knew me, you'd say,, "really?" You?
Before I was saved (Nov. 4th 1974) I was big shot business owner of a Printing Company ("Pilot Press" in Portland, Maine). My head (pumped by pride) got a little bigger when I was accepted at Bible College to train as a Church Pastor. My Lord Jesus Christ knew that I didn't have any experience in church government and spreading the Gospel, so He undertook doing it Himself and I was just a bystander looking like I knew what I was doing. Pride? O yes.
Before I knew what was happening, I was stealing the glory of a miraculous ministry. It wasn't until one of my Deacon's in the second Baptist Church that I was the Pastor said to me, "You know Pastor, you have a lot of pride." Oh oh. All of a sudden I knew that I had a serious spiritual problem, and needed to help of the Holy Spirit for grieving Him, confession to Jesus for the theft of His Glory, and a serious repentance. It was then that I did a study on repentance.
I found that to repent is a reversal of direction. It is a remodel. My wife and I are remodeling our kitchen. We are discarding the old, and installing the new. That's what I needed to do in my life. A verse that helped me was Luke 9:23....
Luke 9:23 "And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
9:24 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."
From what I understand from the Scriptures, repentance is in the category of "vows"....Psalm 116:18 "I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people," So, my prayer, or vow to repent was a very serious event in being a Pastor in the Church of Jesus Christ. I meant it and Jesus accepted it. I'd like to say that pride in my life has disappeared, it hasn't but I must say, I'm much more aware of what fuels pride, and I make choices not to succumb to that evil.