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Brothers and sisters, I need your prayers

Once again, I hardened my heart against the Lord, lost love for Him and feeling of His presence because of my refusal to accept His plan for me, a plan which would benefit others. Please, pray for me, so He would heal my heart and emotions, I want to love Him again! Thank you all so much!
Staff Member
First welcome to Talk Jesus dear Brother.
I hope you will find fellowship, guidance, growth in, and with our Lord as you walk with Him.
I will also pray for you in the hope that His desires for you will be seen by you as a light yoke with what we know is a loving touch.
For He wants the best for you, and in His will you will find that.
Allow your spirit, the Holy Spirit within you be the guide and not the thoughts that resist what is spiritual.
because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, ... 14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" Romans 8:7,14-15
So, I will pray for brother and once again welcome you to Talk Jesus.
With the Love of Christ Jesus.
Once again, I hardened my heart against the Lord, lost love for Him and feeling of His presence because of my refusal to accept His plan for me, a plan which would benefit others. Please, pray for me, so He would heal my heart and emotions, I want to love Him again! Thank you all so much!
Obviously you won't feel better until your repent of refusing to accept Jesus' plan for your future. Then, surrender to the will of God, get back up, and walk in the Spirit. I love You and will be praying for your situation.
“I hear another man cry, “Oh, sir my want of strength lies mainly in this, that I cannot repent sufficiently!” A curious idea men have of what repentance is! Many fancy that so many tears are to be shed, and so many groans are to be heaved, and so much despair is to be endured. Whence comes this unreasonable notion? Unbelief and despair are sins, and therefore I do not see how they can be constituent elements of acceptable repentance; yet there are many who regard them as necessary parts of true Christian experience. They are in great error. Still, I know what they mean, for in the days of my darkness I used to feel in the same way. I desired to repent, but I thought that I could not do it, and yet all the while I was repenting. Odd as it may sound, I felt that I could not feel. I used to get into a corner and weep, because I could not weep; and I fell into bitter sorrow because I could not sorrow for sin. What a jumble it all is when in our unbelieving state we begin to judge our own condition! It is like a blind man looking at his own eyes. My heart was melted within me for fear, because I thought that my heart was as hard as an adamant stone. My heart was broken to think that it would not break. Now I can see that I was exhibiting the very thing which I thought I did not possess; but then I knew not where I was. Remember that the man who truly repents is never satisfied with his own repentance. We can no more repent perfectly than we can live perfectly. However pure our tears, there will always be some dirt in them: there will be something to be repented of even in our best repentance. But listen! To repent is to change your mind about sin, and Christ, and all the great things of God. There is sorrow implied in this; but the main point is the turning of the heart from sin to Christ. If there be this turning, you have the essence of true repentance, even though no alarm and no despair should ever have cast their shadow upon your mind.”
Charles Haddon Spurgeon, All of Grace

It's in here All of Grace Quotes by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

I underwent and still undergo the same situation, I disobey God and feel my repentance ain't enough. I can't produce it. It's a struggle, really, but let's not look at ourselves and our shortcomings but to God and how he fills all of it.

I don't know if my lengthy reply made any sense to you but hey, be praying for you. :smile:
Well hello my new Sister Lynette, what a pretty name for a Gal with a pretty heart for Jesus. Just the fact that you appreciate Charles Spurgeon' writings, you become a favored friend of mine. Ah yes, repentance. I'm so very glad that our Heavenly Father knows our hearts Lynette. There are many times when I ponder the love of God Who designed His plan of Salvation to include me!! If you knew me, you'd say,, "really?" You?

Before I was saved (Nov. 4th 1974) I was big shot business owner of a Printing Company ("Pilot Press" in Portland, Maine). My head (pumped by pride) got a little bigger when I was accepted at Bible College to train as a Church Pastor. My Lord Jesus Christ knew that I didn't have any experience in church government and spreading the Gospel, so He undertook doing it Himself and I was just a bystander looking like I knew what I was doing. Pride? O yes.

Before I knew what was happening, I was stealing the glory of a miraculous ministry. It wasn't until one of my Deacon's in the second Baptist Church that I was the Pastor said to me, "You know Pastor, you have a lot of pride." Oh oh. All of a sudden I knew that I had a serious spiritual problem, and needed to help of the Holy Spirit for grieving Him, confession to Jesus for the theft of His Glory, and a serious repentance. It was then that I did a study on repentance.

I found that to repent is a reversal of direction. It is a remodel. My wife and I are remodeling our kitchen. We are discarding the old, and installing the new. That's what I needed to do in my life. A verse that helped me was Luke 9:23....
Luke 9:23 "And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
9:24 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

From what I understand from the Scriptures, repentance is in the category of "vows"....Psalm 116:18 "I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people," So, my prayer, or vow to repent was a very serious event in being a Pastor in the Church of Jesus Christ. I meant it and Jesus accepted it. I'd like to say that pride in my life has disappeared, it hasn't but I must say, I'm much more aware of what fuels pride, and I make choices not to succumb to that evil.
Thank you all very much, I'm currently getting back up on the track, all of your prayers were helping!
Every victory against the evil one, will only strengthen your resolve that it can be done... bit by bit. Its not about winning every battle, its about winning the war.
Staff Member
Greetings @Marek

Perhaps you could update us.

How are you now?

I was lost, but Jesus found me,
Found the sheep that went astray,
Threw His loving arms around me,
Drew me back into the way*

*Francis Rowley 1886 (from hymn I will sing the wondrous story)