need help! i dunno what to do!

[JesusFreak95]

so here's my situation. i met this girl at an away football game (about an hour away) and asked her to hang out at the mall and she said yes so we went and had a great time but her mom really liked me and said she has been praying for a spouse for her daughter (lets call her scarlett) for a long time. at the time i thought she didn't know what she was talking about but then we got to know each other more and more to the point i really liked scarlett. then she moved to Florida and over that summer we talked more than ever and my mom kept telling me to stay in touch cause she really liked scarlett and then school started and she got a boyfriend (bummer!). it didn't bother me too much but then she came to visit during spring break had told me that she liked me over the summer and even more when she was visiting. so then the fact she had a boyfriend made it really hard on me cause i really liked her and i knew she liked me. we talked everyday for several months and all the while I'm praying and crying out to God asking if she's the one and one day she says she needs to talk to me and so we talked and she told me that she was telling her mom a sweet comment i made to her and her mom told her that if she's tied down in a relationship she might miss out on something later. and scarlett said it really stuck with her and that it's obvious we both have feelings for each other and that she loves me but she loves her boyfriend too and she doesn't know what to do. but i know that she's the one after all that praying and asking God if shes the one and then her telling me everything. i know she's the one for me and i cant stand being so far away and her being with another guy when im the one for her. i want to go out there so bad. i just dont know what to do... can anyone help???

 

[Michelle71]

This may be somewhat of a hard word for you, but is something that may not have been considered. What if the situation was a bit different? Let's say you were in the military overseas and were not able to see her at all. Would the relationship last? Would she decide to pick up a new boyfriend, or husband because of the absence? Marriage is a step that is forever. She either is faithful now, and proves to be faithful while dating, or not. It seems she needs to make a choice and stick with it.

On your part the advice would be to stay in school. Have as little contact as possible because she has a boyfriend. Withdraw yourself and focus on schooling and other activities that would glorify the Lord. Don't go looking for a replacement for the void in anything other than your relationship with the Lord, and maybe in some type of help ministry etc.

Leave the choice with the Lord. Tell Him that if this is the person that you should end up with, then He will have to work the circumstances out, and that you will wait until after school to make any decisions yourself. Leave time for the Lord to work and don't go off half cocked making immediate and spontaneous decisions. If you believe the Lord has said this is the person for you, then leave it all in his hands.

 

[JesusFreak95]

I'm starting ozark Christian college next month so I'm staying in school but there's no way I'm not staying in contact with her. How would God work with us if I'm not even talking to her? I do believe she is the one and that's why I don't want to stand still when God is trying to move me. I really appreciate your response but I just don't feel like having as little contact as possible is what I should be doing.

 

[Truehearts]

she loves me but she loves her boyfriend too and she doesn't know what to do.

I think someone needs to make a decision. What you can do for now is keep praying if it is indeed God's will. If it is, it will happen. And no one needs to get hurt. You do understand that she has a boyfriend who have no idea that his girlfriend is falling for someone else.

 

[bbear24-7]

What you can do for now is keep praying if it is indeed God's will. If it is, it will happen

I think too many times we try to hurry things along when God just wants us to wait. I struggle with this personally. I agree with "TrueHearts" if it is in Gods plan for y'all yo be together, then he will make it happen. A lot of times i think i need to "help" him a long, but its important to remember he is God, he is in control and he has a plan. its our Job right now to love him and do his will! and he will work out the rest! we just have to trust him!

Delight yourself in the lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit yourself unto him and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4-5

 

[Brad Huber]

Is she a christian? If not, its best not to get too deeply involved even though her mom wants you in her daughters life, she has free choice just as God gave that free choice to us for love's sake. If she is a christian, then better start praying that she has the wisdom to make the best choice. Would you want her to leave someone she loves and has made a committment to?

 

[Shutterbug]

What's the rush? While her mother originally seemed supportive of your relationship with her daughter, she seems to have changed her mind. The boyfriend is most likely to fill a void or perhaps social pressures. It would absolutely dampen someone's enthusiasm.

On the bright side, it gives you an opportunity to assess what you're getting into.

If your fair lass really is the one, she will still be there. If not, you're still young and other opportunities may/will appear. This isn't meant to discourage you. Not that I'm wishing ill will, but being a Christian and walking down the aisle trusting the Lord has got it right the first time is polar opposite to a society which says splitting up is a part of life. If you're 110% sure, go for it. If not, there is no rush. Don't add stress to your life when there is no need.

Cheers,
John

 

[JesusFreak95]

thanks for the response everyone. i know im really young and you all are right about being patient. its just so hard when love is involved. can i ask all who read this to say a short prayer for me? im in a really tough situation and having trouble studying for test because of it.

 

[Stormy]

I know that the heart wants what the heart wants so I am not sure words will help. You seem like a really nice guy and I don't want to see you get hurt. She has a boyfriend and that leaves you with the very real possibility of getting hurt. I know God has exactly the right girl for you. Whether or not she is the one and only girl for you I can't say. Keep praying about it. I guess what I am struggling to say is: do not try to force it to become something. You need to relax and allow it to become what God means it to be. It might be the way you want it to be but don't force it and don't cut yourself off from other possibilities. By fixating on only this one possibility, you might not see other opportunities God puts into your life. He is going to use you in a powerful way. You just need to put him first and be on the lookout for the opportunities he puts before you. When he shuts the door to one thing, he opens it for another. He knows what you want and what you need even better than you know yourself.

 

[JesusFreak95]

Thanks. and your right about focusing on God. as of right now im going to ozark christian college and majoring in youth ministry. i know God brought me here because im only 16 and its kinda difficult to get into college at 16 so if shes the one then God will open a door for her to be here or he will tell me to go there. but either way im waiting on the Lord to tell me what he wants of me. thanks again everyone for the answers and i welcome them all especially if the Holy Spirit is the one leading whoever is writing the response.

 

[Dianna Jagessar]

hey..... i'm in a situation similar to yours. i just want to let you know that FAITH in God will move even the biggest mountains. no matter what people say, God has shown this to you, not any ordinary person. Trust in God, keep praying and she'll be yours very soon. I'm praying for you because i know how it feels to hear people say leave it alone. God has shown this to you and you need to be faithful to God and He will answer you and deliver you. i pray for you. God's timing is PERFECT. TRUST IN GOD.

 

[Strypes]

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths".

Trust God and follow His directions.

 

[thin-kinh]

Forget her as long as she's in a relationship she's not the one for you. Keep looking. Best of luck.