You're My Wife! You Must Obey Me!

[Bendito]

Do you know that the bible talks about three times more to the hubby than to the wife? Do you know that the bible does not tell the wife that she is a slave to the hubby? She IS an equal part of a team. However in any team there has to be one who takes responsibility for the whole, a team leader. The rest of the team defer to the leader. Meaning that the other players simply follow the leader.
So many times over the last forty years have I seen women suppressed/ oppressed/ depressed in the church, and that wrongly. When a man lords it over his wife, he is NOT leading in Love.

 

[Chad]

True. Just a suggestion, it's a good idea to include Scripture passages you're referencing to.

Here's a good read on Ephesians 5 also Today's Study: Ephesians 5:25

 

[Curtis]

Do you know that the bible talks about three times more to the hubby than to the wife? Do you know that the bible does not tell the wife that she is a slave to the hubby? She IS an equal part of a team. However in any team there has to be one who takes responsibility for the whole, a team leader. The rest of the team defer to the leader. Meaning that the other players simply follow the leader.
So many times over the last forty years have I seen women suppressed/ oppressed/ depressed in the church, and that wrongly. When a man lords it over his wife, he is NOT leading in Love.

Even with in the Godhead there is "order". The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and they all agree in one. As Jesus said my "Father is greater than I"

John 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

Even though the Father is greater than the Son, but not better, as all the Godhead is one in purpose, and they all agree as one. Though the husband is head of his wife but he is not better. Man is only head of his wife in marriage, but not in the Lord, as there is no male or female in Christ.

Gal 3:27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

 

[Brother-Paul]

Do you know that the bible talks about three times more to the hubby than to the wife? Do you know that the bible does not tell the wife that she is a slave to the hubby? She IS an equal part of a team. However in any team there has to be one who takes responsibility for the whole, a team leader. The rest of the team defer to the leader. Meaning that the other players simply follow the leader.
So many times over the last forty years have I seen women suppressed/ oppressed/ depressed in the church, and that wrongly. When a man lords it over his wife, he is NOT leading in Love.

The husband is head of the household, of the relationship, the wife should respect this and her position in the relationship. But, the husband should also respect his wife, loving each other as they love themselves.

Genesis 3:16-19 (KJV)
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

Taken from Col 3:12-25 (KJV)

Colossians 3:18-19 (KJV)
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Ephesians 5:22-33 (NKJV)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Yet again it is clear to see the devil at work in this day and age.

Men were to provide for their wife and family, women were to look after the home and the family. Together through Love for each other.

In this day and age women seek work, women seek power, women seek to rule.

Everything the devil does is the opposite of God's will and plan for us.

 

[B-A-C]

There are different ways to view the "head" of something.

The head (general) of an army tells the army what to do. But he also has to manage that army.
He has to feed them. He has to arm them. He has to provide them with some shelter however rudimentary it might be.
He has to work out logistics, tactics, and strategies. Even generals rarely do this alone. Often they rely on feedback
from scouts, tacticians, and those in charge of supplies.

I believe a man needs to provide for his family, feed them, prepare them, cloth them, provide shelter for them,
sometimes listen to their input. Prepare his children for life. Listen to the person in charge of supplies and food
(often the wife).

Another way to view the head.. is like the head of a river. The river can't really exist without head waters to support it.
Yet the head is a very small part of a river. It is the headwaters that support the river, that keep it flowing.
A man should support his family... provide for them, feed them (not only earthly food, but spiritual food) the head
of the river doesn't tell the river where to go or what to do... but it keeps it flowing... this isn't to say that some
family members can't be/shouldn't be disciplined sometimes... but this should be done to keep the river flowing.
Sometimes, the way it is done causes division in the family and stops things from flowing smoothly.

I do agree with what others have said here... while husbands need to love their wives as Christ loved the church
(and even gave up his life for her).. wives also need to respect their husbands... not only when they decide he "deserves" it.

There are a great many men who want to "lord" over their wives and turn them into slaves of a sort.
But there are a great many women (more and more lately) who don't "need a man" to get by. It's true you can survive
without a man or a woman in your life... But in Gen 2:18; God said it wasn't good for us to be alone.
Life is easier when you have someone supporting you, loving you, taking care of you, praying for you, and raising children
with you. This is the part of being the "head" of the family that some men don't understand.

 

[Bendito]

There are different ways to view the "head" of something.

The head (general) of an army tells the army what to do. But he also has to manage that army.
He has to feed them. He has to arm them. He has to provide them with some shelter however rudimentary it might be.
He has to work out logistics, tactics, and strategies. Even generals rarely do this alone. Often they rely on feedback
from scouts, tacticians, and those in charge of supplies.

I believe a man needs to provide for his family, feed them, prepare them, cloth them, provide shelter for them,
sometimes listen to their input. Prepare his children for life. Listen to the person in charge of supplies and food
(often the wife).

Another way to view the head.. is like the head of a river. The river can't really exist without head waters to support it.
Yet the head is a very small part of a river. It is the headwaters that support the river, that keep it flowing.
A man should support his family... provide for them, feed them (not only earthly food, but spiritual food) the head
of the river doesn't tell the river where to go or what to do... but it keeps it flowing... this isn't to say that some
family members can't be/shouldn't be disciplined sometimes... but this should be done to keep the river flowing.
Sometimes, the way it is done causes division in the family and stops things from flowing smoothly.

I do agree with what others have said here... while husbands need to love their wives as Christ loved the church
(and even gave up his life for her).. wives also need to respect their husbands... not only when they decide he "deserves" it.

There are a great many men who want to "lord" over their wives and turn them into slaves of a sort.
But there are a great many women (more and more lately) who don't "need a man" to get by. It's true you can survive
without a man or a woman in your life... But in Gen 2:18; God said it wasn't good for us to be alone.
Life is easier when you have someone supporting you, loving you, taking care of you, praying for you, and raising children
with you. This is the part of being the "head" of the family that some men don't understand.

There are different ways to view the "head" of something.

The head (general) of an army tells the army what to do. But he also has to manage that army.
He has to feed them. He has to arm them. He has to provide them with some shelter however rudimentary it might be.
He has to work out logistics, tactics, and strategies. Even generals rarely do this alone. Often they rely on feedback
from scouts, tacticians, and those in charge of supplies.

I believe a man needs to provide for his family, feed them, prepare them, cloth them, provide shelter for them,
sometimes listen to their input. Prepare his children for life. Listen to the person in charge of supplies and food
(often the wife).

Another way to view the head.. is like the head of a river. The river can't really exist without head waters to support it.
Yet the head is a very small part of a river. It is the headwaters that support the river, that keep it flowing.
A man should support his family... provide for them, feed them (not only earthly food, but spiritual food) the head
of the river doesn't tell the river where to go or what to do... but it keeps it flowing... this isn't to say that some
family members can't be/shouldn't be disciplined sometimes... but this should be done to keep the river flowing.
Sometimes, the way it is done causes division in the family and stops things from flowing smoothly.

I do agree with what others have said here... while husbands need to love their wives as Christ loved the church
(and even gave up his life for her).. wives also need to respect their husbands... not only when they decide he "deserves" it.

There are a great many men who want to "lord" over their wives and turn them into slaves of a sort.
But there are a great many women (more and more lately) who don't "need a man" to get by. It's true you can survive
without a man or a woman in your life... But in Gen 2:18; God said it wasn't good for us to be alone.
Life is easier when you have someone supporting you, loving you, taking care of you, praying for you, and raising children
with you. This is the part of being the "head" of the family that some men don't understand.

I think the subject of feminism and women's lib vs wives submitting to their husbands are two different subjects altogether. I suggest we stick to the one. I've seen far too many husbands lording over their wives. Ruling them as though they were supposed to roll over in a submissive posture like a dog. Slaves as B-A-C said above. Most versions of the bible use the word 'submit' as indicating just this, slaves. Colossians 3:18 Yet the meaning of the word, from the OT Hebrew means more like "Wives defer to your husbands, rather than roll over and be a slave. Let him voice the decision since it's he that will have to answer for the family. Someone has to be the leader in any group, otherwise it would be anarchy. The husband was appointed to that position so as team leader he WILL have to answer for any failures of the group..This does not mean that the wife has no say in decisions, it does not mean she is a slave. As I said before the husband is to love his wife as Jesus loves the church and gave and gave
and gave himself..
You wives now.....You do have a right to say your say. As husbands we do have to listen to your wise advice before we make any decision...Look at 1 Peter 5:5
God tells us all to submit one to another. That means I have to submit to my wife too.....Experience tells me that any man who does not listen to his wife's advice is a total fool.

 

[Brother-Paul]

How we should react is clearly included in the scriptures stated above

Colossians 3:18-19 (KJV)
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Notice 'submit' and the last statement in verse 18 but submit 'as it is fit in the Lord.'
For husbands LOVE is the key word here

For me Ephesians says it all..

Ephesians 5:22-33 (NKJV)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Husbands and wives ~ Love and Respect ~ As you would love your own body ~ Just as Christ loved the church.

 

[Bendito]

How we should react is clearly included in the scriptures stated above

Colossians 3:18-19 (KJV)
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Notice 'submit' and the last statement in verse 18 but submit 'as it is fit in the Lord.'
For husbands LOVE is the key word here

For me Ephesians says it all..

Ephesians 5:22-33 (NKJV)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Husbands and wives ~ Love and Respect ~ As you would love your own body ~ Just as Christ loved the church.

Paul was answering questions here. He was not telling the people that women were not allowed to preach/ teach. Paul was a rabbi. they asked him questions It's calles a responsa. Responsa (Latin: plural of responsum, "answers") comprise a body of written decisions and rulings given by legal scholars in response to questions addressed to them. In the modern era, the term is used to describe decisions and rulings made by scholars in historic religious law.

A common practice in Jewish culture was to send questions to rabbis on how to live to please God. The rabbi would answer with a responsa. Paul sends a responsa to the Church in answer to the question, “Should women be allowed to preach?”


 Question: Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to
speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn
something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to
speak in church (1 Corinthians 14:34-35, NKJV).

 Answer: Or did the word of God come originally from you? Or was it you only that it
reached? If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge
that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord. But if anyone
is ignorant, let him be ignorant (1 Corinthians 14:36-38, NKJV).

 It does not say in the Old Testament that women are to keep silent.

 By stopping women from preaching, Satan planned to silence half of the Church. Additional scriptures: John 8:32; 2 Corinthians 5:10; Leviticus 17:11-14; 2 Timothy 2:15; 1 Corinthians 7:1-3, 8:1, 9:1-14, 12:12, 14:34-38; 2 Kings 22:14; Acts 18:24-26; Matthew 18:20; Proverbs 4:20-23; Luke 7:7

 

[Dovegiven]

It's true most marriages are not constructed of love for God, husband's love for wife equal as his love for Jesus. that Jesus loving the Church so much. It's vital to not consider the carnal side of marriage. If we add carnal to spiritual we get a semi salty/sweet drink of water out of it.

Husband is under direct orders from God to love his wife such that he would give his own life for her, even while she is yet in sin, equal to what Jesus did for us. I should be in position to rest my case right there!
We all need to revisit Ephesians 5:24-25 (KJV)
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

A husband is commanded to love his wife like Jesus did. Did what Jesus take upon himself amount to a requirement to obey those he loved and died for?
No. Jesus is the head of the Church, so a husband is responsible for headship of his marriage.

In the same way a Christian would agree to submit to his Lord, so ought a wife submit, with no commandment to love him, to her husband.

Of course, no Christian knowing the word would submit to the Devil, to his twisting of scriptures to make lies. In like manner no wife is commanded to obey unrighteous leading of a carnal husband. Her judgment of him ought to be based on the standard of the word of God, not worldly standards, like "He only buys used cars for me".

She is "advised" in to not leave a "bad" husband, choosing to stay that he might be attracted to Christ by her own daily testimony. 1 Cor 7.
Should he too abusive and betraying/unfaithful to her, let him go, like Jesus let Judas go, then replaced` with Matthias. Let God choose such changes!

Christian husbands, avoid taking on a paganistic Viking mentality towards women in your life!

 

[Curtis]

As long as the man takes on his God given headship in the family and does them, the wife will gladly submit to her husband. Adam's job from God was to till and protect the garden from outsiders that could cause harm to himself and his family. He failed in that task and allowed the serpent in that caused both Adam and Eve to loose fellowship with God.
We find in scripture where Sara told Abraham to get rid of Hagar, and her son Ishmael. Abraham refused to do it for it would be to grievous for him to do because he loved his son.
God intervened and told Abraham to listen to his wife for she was right. If the husband does not do his job, the wife will, and I don't blame her neither does God.

 

[Brother-Paul]

It's true most marriages are not constructed of love for God, husband's love for wife equal as his love for Jesus. that Jesus loving the Church so much. It's vital to not consider the carnal side of marriage. If we add carnal to spiritual we get a semi salty/sweet drink of water out of it.

It is sad but it is true. But we should always look to God, through Jesus, through Scripture and let the Holy Spirit guide us. Not conforming in anyway to the way of the world but, through prayer and meditating on scripture, by the renewing of our mind, offering ourselves as a living sacrifice, praying it is wholly and pleasing to God, and that in all we do, we bring Glory to God through Jesus Christ, our most precious Lord and Saviour.

Of course, no Christian knowing the word would submit to the Devil, to his twisting of scriptures to make lies. In like manner no wife is commanded to obey unrighteous leading of a carnal husband. Her judgment of him ought to be based on the standard of the word of God, not worldly standards, like "He only buys used cars for me".

Or as is all to common in the world today, a couple getting married and the woman says 'I refuse to say Obey' in their vows. Further evidence of the devil at work, confirming the lack of understanding of scripture for they are in the world and the father is the devil...

Where is the 11th commandment?
John 13:34 (NKJV) A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

LOVE is the key word to the whole Gospel.

I appreciate this love is not referring to a couple getting married and is a command to us all to 'love one another.' But I put John 3:34 in the above conversation above for a reason.

What is LOVE in the western world, it appears to be romantic or sexual love, or love for a close friend or brotherly love, even some types of caring get classified as love. One world with so many meanings!!!

The word Love covers far to many situations and clouds true meaning of what love really it is, or which it refers to. But our Bibles tell us, scripture tells us of a different love, a better love, a greater love, it is 'agape love'.

The Greek word agape often translated "love" in the New Testament. "Agape love" is different from other types of love? The essence of 'agape love' is self-sacrifice. Agape is not used in the Bible to refer to any of the above types of love, Agape love is unique and is distinguished by its nature and character. Agape is love which is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself.

The apostle John affirms this in 1 John 4:8: “God is love.”

If only the world knew what real Love is.