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- Apr 25, 2006
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Relationships (2)
‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Proverbs 13:20 NKJV
Not everyone who starts out with you is capable of going where God wants to take you. Sometimes they don’t have the emotional capacity required. Other times their vision differs from yours. So how can you know when it’s time to exit a relationship?
Avoid relationships that leave you depleted. This calls for establishing clear boundaries for the relationship up front. You don’t have time to spend your life straightening out misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and injured egos. How far are you willing to go? How much are you inclined to invest? When you overspend your budget, you go broke. Bankrupting yourself emotionally and physically to make someone else feel needed might sound noble, but it’s not. Emotionally and physically bankrupt people end up with everything from nervous breakdowns to extramarital affairs. And even when they don’t, they fail to reach their God-given destination in life because they’re dragging too much weight.
When you feel a relationship is not working, pause and take a look. View the situation objectively instead of emotionally, examining all the facets of it. Sometimes certain aspects of a relationship should be terminated, and other areas maintained. It’s possible to have relationships that work in one area but not in another.
Compartmentalising will save many important relationships because it requires you to see them in sections. It’s possible to remove a section and still have a lot left to enjoy. Yes, it takes work and communication, but it is often worth it. There may be common interests that need to be maintained, while others need to be invalidated before all is lost.
written by Bob Gass
‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Proverbs 13:20 NKJV
Not everyone who starts out with you is capable of going where God wants to take you. Sometimes they don’t have the emotional capacity required. Other times their vision differs from yours. So how can you know when it’s time to exit a relationship?
Avoid relationships that leave you depleted. This calls for establishing clear boundaries for the relationship up front. You don’t have time to spend your life straightening out misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and injured egos. How far are you willing to go? How much are you inclined to invest? When you overspend your budget, you go broke. Bankrupting yourself emotionally and physically to make someone else feel needed might sound noble, but it’s not. Emotionally and physically bankrupt people end up with everything from nervous breakdowns to extramarital affairs. And even when they don’t, they fail to reach their God-given destination in life because they’re dragging too much weight.
When you feel a relationship is not working, pause and take a look. View the situation objectively instead of emotionally, examining all the facets of it. Sometimes certain aspects of a relationship should be terminated, and other areas maintained. It’s possible to have relationships that work in one area but not in another.
Compartmentalising will save many important relationships because it requires you to see them in sections. It’s possible to remove a section and still have a lot left to enjoy. Yes, it takes work and communication, but it is often worth it. There may be common interests that need to be maintained, while others need to be invalidated before all is lost.
written by Bob Gass
