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- Apr 25, 2006
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Playing Happy Families (1)
'I'm doing the very best I can ... at home' Psalm 101:2
When two people get married, they usually expect a Hollywood happy ending. But life isn't always holding hands on the beach and picnics on mountaintops. Sometimes people decide to divorce, even when they have children together who they both love. Divorce is painful for everybody, and never an easy decision. But eventually, each person involved starts to find healing, and at some point they may want to pursue a new relationship.
If this is your current story, it's completely OK if you're feeling sad or scared at the prospect of a new family unit being created. It may take a long time to feel comfortable with this new way of living, so don't feel guilty if you're not quite feeling your parent's new-found zest for life.
Suddenly having a new adult in your life can be very disorientating. You may wonder what to call them (sometimes it's easier to call them by their first name rather than 'mum' or 'dad.) You might feel awkward that you quite like this new person, worried that you are somehow betraying your real mum or dad.
Chances are this is really about feeling the loss of what you once had. Well don't deny your feelings. Jesus says, 'those ... who grieve ... will find comfort' (Matt. 5:4 CEV). It therefore follows that those who pretend everything's fine may not. In short, it's OK to lament the past before rolling into the future.
written by Bob Gass
'I'm doing the very best I can ... at home' Psalm 101:2
When two people get married, they usually expect a Hollywood happy ending. But life isn't always holding hands on the beach and picnics on mountaintops. Sometimes people decide to divorce, even when they have children together who they both love. Divorce is painful for everybody, and never an easy decision. But eventually, each person involved starts to find healing, and at some point they may want to pursue a new relationship.
If this is your current story, it's completely OK if you're feeling sad or scared at the prospect of a new family unit being created. It may take a long time to feel comfortable with this new way of living, so don't feel guilty if you're not quite feeling your parent's new-found zest for life.
Suddenly having a new adult in your life can be very disorientating. You may wonder what to call them (sometimes it's easier to call them by their first name rather than 'mum' or 'dad.) You might feel awkward that you quite like this new person, worried that you are somehow betraying your real mum or dad.
Chances are this is really about feeling the loss of what you once had. Well don't deny your feelings. Jesus says, 'those ... who grieve ... will find comfort' (Matt. 5:4 CEV). It therefore follows that those who pretend everything's fine may not. In short, it's OK to lament the past before rolling into the future.
written by Bob Gass
