Will You Fast With Me?

[PhoenixRising]

Hello,

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right Forum but if I'm not, then I'm sure Chad or SpiritLedEd or one of the other Mods will move this post to the correct one.

I hope all is well with everyone and your loved ones and even though it's a little late in the year, I still want to wish you all a belated, blessed New Year AND Happy Resurrection Day in advance.

It's been a little over a year since I last logged in to this wonderful forum. Many things have transpired...I moved from the West Coast (CA) back to the east Coast (MD) and I'm starting life all over again. Seems as if I keep "starting over"(NOT from State to State) and I'm tired, very tired and just worn out and down.

Life for me is not worth living if I don't know my purpose in God. I have to have a reason for getting up in the morning. Without knowing or having a clue about God's vision for my life and future, I don't feel much of anything anymore. Everyday is essentially the same...no purpose, nothing accomplished beyond (doing my job). Working to pay my bills and the rest of it all just don't hold any attraction for me anymore. I feel like I'm merely existing, not living and that's just not acceptable or good enough!

I feel numb most of the time, my emotions are all but suppressed and I do enough on any given day just to get by. That's just not good enough and without a vision for my life, I'm truly perishing....just like God said in the Bible about His people (Proverbs 29:18).

I'm not talking about suicide or anything like that (that's in the past, PRAISE GOD!!) but I have felt so very lost and walking in this seemingly endless dark tunnel is so wearing and numbing. I am so very tired and weary of heart, soul and spirit.

It has come to the point of this: Either God will show me and guide and instruct me as to what to do, how to do it, when to do it etc or He might as well just rapture me here and now.

Nothing but showing me and knowing His vision and purpose for my life will do. This will strengthen me, give me hope, refresh my spirit, renew my soul and enable me to get going. Hope deferred, weakens the spirit and dries up your soul. After all, how long can you keep being disappointed and betrayed by people and life's circumstances before your heart completely breaks and your will to go on is ground down to zero?

All the above and more, are the reasons why I want to fast and I'm hoping there will be others who may want to join me, for their own personal reasons. I need to seek God's face and I want to draw near Him into a very intimate relationship and very, very close walk and companionship.

Even if no one is interested, (I'm hoping some will be) I will still proceed with the fast. This is a life or death situation for me....I will either come to truly know who God is and enjoy and delight in His presence and guidance or I might as well just lay down and die.

However, I choose to live and I want to live onto God because I love Him and I know, that I know, that I know, He loves me deeply, passionately and zealously. I can't and will not let go of that kind of love and I want to experience that kind of love in all its fullness. It's my birthright and I refuse to allow Satan to rob me of all the wonder of God's love for me and the blessings He has for me.

It's time for me to claim my inheritance and to lay hold of God's loving promises to me. Will you join me in a Fast unto God?

 

[sharen]

I will. My own fast.

Thanks for the heads up.


PS. What you're going through is a breaking process. I will pray for you.
God bless

 

[Sheep]

Wow PhoenixRising

While I was reading your piece. I could feel the need you have in your heart. I had the same need a few weeks ago. I was so frustrated, like you are now. I have a great great love for Jesus in my heart but it felt to me as if I come to a dead end.

I shared this feelings and lots and lots of tears with in fellowship. And I felt if someone told me that you have to jump over a mountaint to get the "love" or where I was, call it what you whant, back. I would do it.

But most of them recognized my symptoms, they say that you do experience this in your walk with Jesus. They call it the desert stage. And the fact that you want to fast my sister, is the Lord speaking to your heart. I fasted for 3 days, It was my own kind of fast yes, coz I tend to get terrible megranes for not eating anything. But I took away one of my meals and the rest I did the Daniel fast. So I only ate twice a day but only greens.

It really really helped. I feel much more connected to Jesus now. I feel better and I tend to be very sensitive towards the Holy Spirit. I realized that as soon as your flesh is too strong, it over rules your spirit (the person your really are - God's likeness) Jesus also tells us that: "My (Jesus) grace is sufficiant for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" The moment I read this, after the Lord put the fasting desire on my heart. I knew that Jesus wanted my flesh to back down a bit. Maybe I was to overruling to Him, I don't know. We will never fully understand God's ways. We must just trust in Him and enjoy the ride

Anyway, Its now the forth day and I'm still going on with it. I like the person I've become, I now know who I am. The real me. I don't like the fleshy me. She tends to get angry easily and all. I want the spiritual me to stay forever!!! And to be able to feel Jesus's precence all the time, its really wonderfull!!! I tend to just get up and run to the batheroom because I feel the urge to fall to my knees and praise Him.

Can't do it in my office, I'm receptionist, I think I'll scare away the customers

But hope this helps. And yes, I'll fast with you, I'm already busy
But do keep the faith sister, all is well with Jesus.

Please keep me updated...

Love in our Jesus Christ
Sheep
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Romans 8.28]

Dear brother, in reading your post I just had such an empathy come over me not only for you but all that are in seemingly dead ends as far as spiritual growth is concerned. Most of the prophets felt that somewhere in their ministry, and with your love of God you do have a ministry. Elijah cried to the Lord according to Romans 11:3 "I am left alone." He wasn't alone because he had God right there with him all the time leading and protecting him.

There are many things in our lives besides sin that create a feeling of estrangement from God, and purpose of life and mostly it can be blamed on the reservoir of our faith. It happens to me, it happens to all and there is but one remedy and that is reentering into a study of God's word that delivers into that place of excitement that the Holy Spirit will lead you in those times.

David under different circumstances said it this way in Psalms 51:12, "Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." Whatever the sorrow, the pain, or even the feelings of hopelessness, as a child of God it is a trial of your faith. God is working in you dear brother to will and do of His good pleasure as He conforms you into the very image of His Son, who also was a man of sorrows. Have you come to "Why hast thou forsaken me?" Oh I'll never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

You talk of fasting and Isaiah 58:5-12 tells us of an acceptable fast to God. Sometimes just getting out and serving others will break the cycle of the lack of self worth. God has given you not only spiritual gifts, but a bodily gift also. Find what it is and edify others with it that you come upon.

A fast the Lord has chosen

5 Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the LORD?
6 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

Your reward now for doing this?

8 Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy rereward.
9 Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;
10 And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday:
11 And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.
12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.

God bless you dear brother in Jesus' name.

 

[PhoenixRising]

I will. My own fast.

Thanks for the heads up.


PS. What you're going through is a breaking process. I will pray for you.
God bless

Thank you Sharen. God bless you too.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Sheep,

I'm on my 3rd day but I felt the need to reach out for support and companionship. Thank you for responding to my post.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Roman,

Thank you for the scriptures. Isaiah 58:5-12 is known to me and is very comforting and encouraging.

I will be water fasting mainly and occassionally juice fasting for 40 days or longer. I will be able to accomplish this because God will help me to do so.

By the way, I'm not a brother, I'm a sister lol!

 

[PhoenixRising]

By the way Sheep,

I read all your blog entries and will re-read them. I especially was moved about the one that says to "Turn your eyes to Jesus" and "The note for the day" about truth-telling, particularly in a world that rewards lies and punishes truth (my experience).

This is why I will be going back so I can take the time to re-read your blog. Every entry on there speaks to me.

 

[Sheep]

Thank you so much Phoenix.
Alll glory to our Lord God Almighty!! He shares His wisdom with me sometimes. I tend to write it down, it's so special. And I can never keep it to myself, its too precious.

By the way, I'm going to write two blogs on what Jesus shared with me the other day.

Chat soon again.

Love in our Jesus Chirst
Sheep
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[PhoenixRising]

I look forward to reading them Sheep. Thank you.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Forgiveness and Walking In Love

I feel bad a lot. God says to walk in love and forgiveness. These are my achilles heel. I have been so hurt and so betrayed from my childhood on through the years and recently (by another professed friend) that I find it difficult to obey God's commandment in this regard.

I know what Jesus says about forgiveness and love. God has been so very kind and gracious to me and has kept me alive when I could have died so many, many times. I know He has a purpose for my life and I also know that I get in my own way and I know not walking in love and holding unto injuries hinder my walk with Him. I don't want to but the painful memories and sadness of being stolen from and cheated and betrayed (from friends to employers) won't go away or they come back.

I love God with all my heart but then how can I say I love Him when I feel this way towards those He loves (remember He loves EVERYBODY). This is a constant struggle for me and causes me such distress that I can barely stand it. It makes me shut down and turn away from God because my shame and guilt overwhelm me. These are some of the issues I need God to heal and cleanse me of so I can have and live a victorious life. After all how can God be bothered to work with me when my heart is so deceitfully wicked and not charitable towards these people? Some of them are even dead.

I'm a kind, loving, generous and very loyal person and those qualities have been taken advantage of far too many times and I feel that it's my fault (when am I ever going to learn not to be this way?)

Pastor Creflo Dollar said that nothing in one's life is going to change until one starts to walk in love all the time, according to God's will. Jesus Himself said that if you don't forgive others that our Father in heaven will also not forgive you. That just scares me and brings me to tears. God has been so gracious to me. Why can't I be the same way to these people? Why can't I love and forgive and forget the way God commands? Why is this so difficult for me?

These are some of the reasons for my long fast because I have a long list of needs that I'm desperate for God to help me with so I don't feel so bound up, useless and hopeless. Help me somebody, please!

 

[Brighthouse]

SisterPhoenix, I to had this problem,my father was very mean,to me,and when he died,I was more happy then sad,I was not saved,later after receving Jesus, I to like you stuggled to forgive,

I mean I had every right not to!! As I am sure do you! Being self righteous was comforting for a while,but then it seemed as if my prayers were boucing off a wall? My excitment for Jesus was going down,and my life started to get ugly!

Then like you I fasted and prayed,Lord!! why me? why do you not speak? What have I done so bad that I would be made to feel you have departed from me?? Sound familar??

I waited and waited,finally on the 3rd day,ever so sofly in my being came mark read Matt18:21-35 Having a right not to forgive, is your right,but forgiving though most difficult is what sets us free from bondage. Lord how do I know when I have forgiven? When you hold to the one good memory of that person,you do not recall the evil,for does not my Word say unto you this!

Psalm 103:11-17 I took your sins and put them as far as the east is from the west,did I do this because I had to?NO I did this because my love for you was so great and powerful I choose to do this!! As now my son you must choose.Will you be robbed from the thief any more??( john 10:10) or will you lay your sea of forgetfullness next to mine and follow after me?

Well!! It was sure not easy!! But I did it. within a few weeks God brought people around me to share some of the same experciences I had!! As if to confim what I did was not only right for me!! But for others as well.

Because now Jesus was using me to mend broken hearts of other Brothers and sisters! LOVE covers a mulitude of not only there sins!! but ours sister!! 1 peter 4:8 and james 5:16 we confess our sins, we pray for oneanother,so we may be healed on the inside not just the outside!! may this encourge you,and lift you up to our Blessed Jesus!! amenMy prayers and LOVE of our jesus be upon thee!! amen!

 

[PhoenixRising]

My Dear Brother Brighthouse,

Thank you for responding to my cry. I truly appreciate your sharing of yourself and your encouraging and comforting words. I also thank you for your prayer.

May God continue to bless you and comfort you as you've comforted others, me included.