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Wife of Unsaved Husband

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Hello! I would like some advice on how to submit to my unsaved husband. I returned to Christ shortly before we got married. It's been 8 months and I am totally miserable. It seems the more I pray and try to change, the worse he gets. How do I love the unlovely? How do I submit to someone who is so mean and unkind? He even says that my Christianity is fake cause I spend so much time in church and still argue and fight with him. I don't want to bring God shame, but how do you tolerate someone constantly cursing you out and not retaliate? Help!
 
Member
Hello Ladyiwa,
First I would like to ask you a question. Have you experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit? You will not be able to demonstrate an unselfish love to your Husband on your own ability. You will need the Holy Spirit to do it through you. If you have not then please seek Jesus and ask Him to baptize you in the Holy Spirit.

Second, do you feel like your husband's actions toward you could possibly be demonic, if so, you will have to take authority over this spirit.

Third, please get in touch with some other believers who can keep you encouraged and covered in prayer. I am sure there are many here who would joyfully help you in this manner.

Last, always look to the Lord Jesus, He is your unlimited source for everything.

Please feel free to contact me or anyone else here for more information, counsel or prayer, may God bless you and be quick to restore and heal your marriage.
 
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Member
Hello Ladyiwa, welcome to our fellowship! If I may openly share with you, the problem you have is not in submitting to your husband, but in submitting to Christ. Do you have a place where you can go to prayer anytime you need to? Go there often, pour out your heart to God, and when you have done that, wait there in His presence, ask Him to fill your soul with His Spirit, His grace and His love. This infilling of His Spirit will change 'you', enabling you to minister the same grace towards your husband, that Christ offers to you. God bless you sister.

Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
 
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Thank you so much. I am baptized, but often times have not allowed my flesh to be denied. It's hard to be silent when I'm being mistreated, but I know full well that is what Jesus did...1Pet 2:23. But when the hour is at hand, how do I show love when I'm not receiving such? When I try to reach out to my husband, he rejects me. He spends more time giving his friends attention, than me. Please keep me in your prayers.
 
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Coconut said:
Hello Ladyiwa, welcome to our fellowship! If I may openly share with you, the problem you have is not in submitting to your husband, but in submitting to Christ. Do you have a place where you can go to prayer anytime you need to? Go there often, pour out your heart to God, and when you have done that, wait there in His presence, ask Him to fill your soul with His Spirit, His grace and His love. This infilling of His Spirit will change 'you', enabling you to minister the same grace towards your husband, that Christ offers to you. God bless you sister.

Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Wow! You are exactly right! Something leaped in my spirit as I read what you typed! I can only submit to my husband once I have totaly submitted to Christ is what you're saying, correct? The reality is that I have not been as submitted to Christ, because if so, I wouldn't do and say the things back to my husband, right? But when the hour is at hand, what do I do? When he's being evil and nasty, what do I do? How do I combat the pain?
 
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Ladyiwa said:
Hello! I would like some advice on how to submit to my unsaved husband. I returned to Christ shortly before we got married. It's been 8 months and I am totally miserable. It seems the more I pray and try to change, the worse he gets. How do I love the unlovely? How do I submit to someone who is so mean and unkind? He even says that my Christianity is fake cause I spend so much time in church and still argue and fight with him. I don't want to bring God shame, but how do you tolerate someone constantly cursing you out and not retaliate? Help!
My Dear Ladyiwa, the words you speak sound so familiar to me. For you have just described my husband & I. But I must say that prayer does help. I was always told that as long as I keep on Worshiping GOD that Satan will continue working his way through my husband {as long as my husband chose to be worldly} trying to use him to get me to sin against GOD. But prayer is stronger than Satan is - if we're praying for things that GOD approves of.
<*Matthew 5:44> *Pray to GOD & ask HIM to warm your husband's heart as HE did to Pharaoh in the days of Moses & HE will as long as you truly believe in HIM & are trying to live according to HIS Will. {1Peter 4:1-13 } Remember, too GOD knows your heart & knows what you are up-against. <Luke 15:16>Psalms 37:love:*genesis! :girl_hug:
 
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Member
Thanks for the encouragement. I want so badly to be the virtuous wife that God called me to be and Coconut hit the nail right on the head....I need to be totally submitted to Christ. I am to show forth God's glory at all times. This is easier said than done. It's at the time when my husband is being so mean or nasty or cursing me out that I seem to forget what I know is right and I react and respond in ungodly manners. I will seek God with my whole heart. So what do you do in these instances?
 
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Ladyiwa said:
Thanks for the encouragement. I want so badly to be the virtuous wife that God called me to be and Coconut hit the nail right on the head....I need to be totally submitted to Christ. I am to show forth God's glory at all times. This is easier said than done. It's at the time when my husband is being so mean or nasty or cursing me out that I seem to forget what I know is right and I react and respond in ungodly manners. I will seek God with my whole heart. So what do you do in these instances?
:love: No problem, Holding your hurt inside of yourself can only cause you to dwell on more pain & negative thinking. But I don't know if I have the proper answer for you. I can only give you understanding & to tell you to go to GOD. Because that is I do. Maybe that doesn't sound like a whole lot, but HE can do wonders for you & your family. And, HE will help you to cope with your problems & help pull you through them. We all need to open up to someone. I know you hurt when he curse at you. I bet it even gets worse when he is around his {own} friends. My husband is that way, too. I understand completely what you are saying & I know for a fact that it's not easy to restrain yourself from blowing up back at him. It's quite hard to remain prudent when a woman is be verbally abused by her husband, but still we must try.
But, I do know if you go to GOD, HE will help you. For HE doesn't want us to fall. When we are up against something that seems stronger than us - HE is the First one we all should go to. Remember, too GOD knows your heart & knows what you are going through.
So, when I get hurt, I always go to Jehovah for help, asking HIM to help me speak in a tone that HE & my husband will approve of, to warm my husband's heart & to give him & me understanding toward one another. And, I'm being honest, this seems to really works for me. And, always remember in prayer, to always give GOD thanks for all the good things HE has done & to always ask HIM to pour out HIS Holy Spirit upon you & to ask all of this & what ever else you may be asking for, in Christ Jesus' name. I, too will pray for you, you can count on that! {1 Peter 3:1}
:love:
Also remember: At least you get to go to Church. Some women don't get to. At lease you have friends, some women are not that lucky. *genesis! :girl_hug:
 
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Will pray for you sister please feel free to contact me. God will surely speak to your husband and you both will be happy.
God bless
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