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New Member
Hello, brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm new here and I joined this community in order to ask you something about God's will.
I'm an Orthodox, I know what the Bible teaches us people, I know how to pray and meditate. I've been struggling with my relationship for 9 months, I loved this man with all my heart, but although he still loved me too, he became rude and I kept praying to God, to enlighten his mind and clear his thoughs, to make him see the truth about me and about us. Still, nothing happened, my grandmother was about to die, I had some important exams and was terribly depressed... blaming God for being deaf to my prayers, I even wanted to kill myself and I did hurt myself, crying everyday. On short, I hated myself, I hated him, I hated God, I hated everyone and everything. At the very beginning of this month, the man I loved came to me and told me he'd done so wrong and he wants to make me happy this time. I had my doubts, but then I thought that maybe that was, eventually, God's answer, and that was the right time for our relationship, in His opinion. We got back together, everything was working just fine, I was ok with my mental health, and suddenly he tells me that we're not a match and all sort of excuses to break up with me again. His behaviour during the worst 9 months of my life was terrible, the last thing I expected was for him to do the absolute same mistakes again, in the present moment.
Now, about the prayer itself. I can understand that God put me through something difficult, probably to show me that I was able to overcome everything all alone (or better said, only with His help), but right now... why would He give me just a bit of joy and then take it away from me, again? I find it very cruel and I'm in pain. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I know my worth, I know this man isn't good for me because he can't appreciate me at all, but what can I do about it? God answered my prayers for 2 weeks, and then everything tore apart. Why would He give me so much pain? I'm afraid that my lover's mind won't hear any word from God, just like it happened for 9 months straight. I'm in deep pain... I need your help! Maybe you'll find this topic useless, but I really need a piece of advice when it comes to prayers and God's answers. What did I do so wrong?! Isn't LOVE the most wonderful feeling, isn't love... God's blessing?
Thank you very much!
And please do excuse my English. It isn't my native language.
 
Active Member
I'm so sorry you are going through so much pain. I recently went through a circumstance where I felt the same questions arising....why would God dangle this joy in front of me only to allow me to be hurt in the end?

For me - this is where I land. God is always, always good to me. He is not out to harm or hurt me. Because of my strong belief in the character of God and His goodness, and that there is no darkness in Him at all, only light, I trust that this painful experience is working something good for me and even for the other person involved, even though it did not turn out at all the way I wanted it to. And, it will bring glory to God.

From an outsider's view, I think it's also fair to say that God is teaching you to understand your value and to not so easily let a man who says all the right things back into your life. I'm 45 years old and it has taken me a long time to understand that a man's character is not found in sweetly spoken words with empty promises and empty apologies that never manifest into true change. A man's character will show when his words **and** his actions both line up. He will be humble, he will love Jesus more than you, he will not lord himself over you because he is a man; rather, he will serve you and his love will show in sacrificial ways - he will see you as his equal and fully capable of bringing wisdom to the choices that need to be made together. If you are dealing with anything less than this, you are in for a world of pain if you marry this type of man (that is opposite of what I described). So, don't even entertain dating or a close relationship with a man who doesn't love Jesus - really love Jesus. And again, that doesn't just mean with his words, but he is so in love with Jesus that he can't *not* talk about Jesus and bring his faith into every conversation. His faith and love for Christ should permeate everything he does.

So, maybe it's possible that God is teaching you a hard lesson now....before you are married and go through years or decades or pain? I, personally, think this is a very real possibility and maybe one day you will look back and be truly thankful for the pain that you experienced.

As to love being a wonderful feeling....yes, you are right. Human love, especially in those early days, is such a strong wonderful feeling. **BUT**, human love will always fail us and let us down eventually. I don't mean all human love will totally stop or that every spouse will only disappoint fully in the end. But, no human can ever meet another human's needs the way God can. I believe that God allows us to go through suffering to drive us fully to Him and to get our need for love met fully by Him. Otherwise, we would never seek Him out. We would be content with far lesser things and never know the fullness of joy of knowing what it is to be fully loved, unconditionally by a God who says He will never, ever leave us or forsake us.

I pray that you will seek God through this time and learn to trust that He is always good to you, even when things don't seem to be going well. The Bible is full of stories of saints who suffered and, in the end, saw God's glory and His ways which were worked out and much better than anything they could have wanted. God is good, trust this. Understand that He is hurting with you and that there is always a purpose for any suffering or pain He allows us to go through. He brings beauty out of ashes and redeems our suffering. You may not see how right now, but one day you will see how His plan was so much better than yours.

You will be

So, it's my prayer that you will

I pray and hope that you
 
New Member
I'm so sorry you are going through so much pain. I recently went through a circumstance where I felt the same questions arising....why would God dangle this joy in front of me only to allow me to be hurt in the end?

For me - this is where I land. God is always, always good to me. He is not out to harm or hurt me. Because of my strong belief in the character of God and His goodness, and that there is no darkness in Him at all, only light, I trust that this painful experience is working something good for me and even for the other person involved, even though it did not turn out at all the way I wanted it to. And, it will bring glory to God.

From an outsider's view, I think it's also fair to say that God is teaching you to understand your value and to not so easily let a man who says all the right things back into your life. I'm 45 years old and it has taken me a long time to understand that a man's character is not found in sweetly spoken words with empty promises and empty apologies that never manifest into true change. A man's character will show when his words **and** his actions both line up. He will be humble, he will love Jesus more than you, he will not lord himself over you because he is a man; rather, he will serve you and his love will show in sacrificial ways - he will see you as his equal and fully capable of bringing wisdom to the choices that need to be made together. If you are dealing with anything less than this, you are in for a world of pain if you marry this type of man (that is opposite of what I described). So, don't even entertain dating or a close relationship with a man who doesn't love Jesus - really love Jesus. And again, that doesn't just mean with his words, but he is so in love with Jesus that he can't *not* talk about Jesus and bring his faith into every conversation. His faith and love for Christ should permeate everything he does.

So, maybe it's possible that God is teaching you a hard lesson now....before you are married and go through years or decades or pain? I, personally, think this is a very real possibility and maybe one day you will look back and be truly thankful for the pain that you experienced.

As to love being a wonderful feeling....yes, you are right. Human love, especially in those early days, is such a strong wonderful feeling. **BUT**, human love will always fail us and let us down eventually. I don't mean all human love will totally stop or that every spouse will only disappoint fully in the end. But, no human can ever meet another human's needs the way God can. I believe that God allows us to go through suffering to drive us fully to Him and to get our need for love met fully by Him. Otherwise, we would never seek Him out. We would be content with far lesser things and never know the fullness of joy of knowing what it is to be fully loved, unconditionally by a God who says He will never, ever leave us or forsake us.

I pray that you will seek God through this time and learn to trust that He is always good to you, even when things don't seem to be going well. The Bible is full of stories of saints who suffered and, in the end, saw God's glory and His ways which were worked out and much better than anything they could have wanted. God is good, trust this. Understand that He is hurting with you and that there is always a purpose for any suffering or pain He allows us to go through. He brings beauty out of ashes and redeems our suffering. You may not see how right now, but one day you will see how His plan was so much better than yours.

You will be

So, it's my prayer that you will

I pray and hope that you
I have no words to describe my feelings right now, I thought I'd cry reading your answer. Thank you so much for being this kind to me. Your words are amazing. God bless you and your loved ones.
 
Moderator
Staff member
Greetings @aïdapt

Welcome to Talk Jesus

Firstly, it is sad to hear you are going through such a painful time.

However, there are a few questions I would like to ask, if I may, to understand your situation more fully:

You say you are an orthodox. Im not quite sure what that means?

Are you born again? A believer, saved by the blood of Jesus ?
 
New Member
Greetings @aïdapt

Welcome to Talk Jesus

Firstly, it is sad to hear you are going through such a painful time.

However, there are a few questions I would like to ask, if I may, to understand your situation more fully:

You say you are an orthodox. Im not quite sure what that means?

Are you born again? A believer, saved by the blood of Jesus ?
Hello and thank you for supporting me. I know there are many types of christians, we divide in orthodox, catholic, protestant, lutheran etc. I just wanted people to know what kind of christian I am (because each branch is a little different) and to understand that I have been taught how to pray humbly.
I'm not sure I'm that kind of believer, never thought about being reborn...
 
Moderator
Staff member
Hello and thank you for supporting me. I know there are many types of christians, we divide in orthodox, catholic, protestant, lutheran etc. I just wanted people to know what kind of christian I am (because each branch is a little different) and to understand that I have been taught how to pray humbly.
I'm not sure I'm that kind of believer, never thought about being reborn...
Greetings again @aïdapt

Thank you for your reply which helps in understanding your situation.

The Bible says

For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;
1 Timothy 2:5

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
Acts 4:12

I am the way the truth and the life no man cometh unto the Father but by me.
John 14:6

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
John 14:3

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

Aidapt you will never know real peace and joy in your life until you know Jesus and accept Him as your personal Saviour believing in the shed blood at Calvary which was a remission for sins.

No religion can save you...not orthodox, catholic nor Lutheran etc.

No kindly words of coucelling regarding your relationship issues will be of any avail.

Please turn to the Bible and read the gospels perhaps starting at John. Pray that the Lord will open your heart and mind to the truth.

I can assure you that He will not fail you. He died to save you.

Once He is Lord of your life....worldly relationships will pale into insignificance and the joy of salvation will be a balm to past pains and sorrows.

I know that I may have given you a different response to the one expected. But I am not prepared to tell you a lie......that all will be well and give flowery words of comfort regarding your relationship. The most important thing is to get your relationship right with God by turning to Him.

I pray that you will turn to Jesus, our hope, our joy our Salvation.
 
Active Member
@aïdapt
The earth is given in to the hands of the wicked and not all of us will overcome the world. Either way there will be trials and tribulation. For the time being; if you can, immerse yourself in your hobbies and the things you enjoy doing. Listen to powerful relaxing music. Create positive affirmations about yourself and cite them daily.
 

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