Why is there constant conflict?

[twcstp111]

Among Christians and non Christians, and even Christians and other Christians,

I have noticed a pattern of conflict unlike anything I have ever witnessed.


I speak this is truth:

I was suffering and I had a very hard time before reading the scriptures and studying it in depth, but never did I have such dark nights in my soul till I began trying to make sense of what didn't make sense; I never experienced such conflict beforehand. I never experienced such outstretched delusions and invasive and pervasive thoughts, and I never went through such a degree of humiliation and shame as I did when I read the words in the bible. I became extremely confused and psychotic, and I experienced torments that came straight from confusion. I never had thoughts of reforming all of mankind, or of taking over mankind, till I read about such instances in the scriptures and tried to comprehend them and the 'why.'


I hold no thing against Christianity or the scriptures or Christians,

and I did none of these any wrong,

but I tell you this: I never felt such torment ever before. I never went through such a high degree of confusion before, and that confusion is tormenting; I have left it behind. I also had never felt so separated and desperate before. I believe in God, though I live as though there were no God; else, how could I live?

I went through such terrible torment, and I have done no thing to receive it; I have always had the best in mind for others, but as soon as I tried to comprehend the judgement in the scriptures it was like being killed from the inside out and without cause.

I no longer need to comprehend God or Christianity,

but I will go on in the practice of what I know to be good and in peace.


I need to be right in the knowledge that I hold and the things that I do, and I make mistakes, and I know when I am wrong, and I change as I will; what I cannot do is try to be like Jesus, or God, and hold high the banner of Christianity; I will soon forget, and the wound may not heal, but I will even as I always have, have who I am.


As far as I can tell, God is the Law, and His divine person is in His divine Law of Love which can be seen in the righteousness of all recorded generations.


When the banner of War is lifted, as it has been in the past 100 years, multiple times,

is that not of the seven seals being broken? A judgement; as with pestilence, famine, and beasts.


If I explained what I see in revelations a lot of people with be surprised,
if I spoke what is in my mind after reading the scriptures, many would be terrified; if I spoke as one knowing anything to be true at all about the scriptures, except for the primary message, then I would be counted surely as a liar.


I am tired of feeling like I need to justify myself to myself and to/through others, and feeling unworthy, and feeling these ways, and here I am typing: I am not in prison, am I?


I have not considered this conflict to be God's doing--rather the contrary, I am not asking God 'why,' but I am acknowledging that so much of what I suffered through and even what I am still going through on occasion is subjective. I did say, that I became very delusional after reading the scriptures.

I'm taking a rest for the next decade or so, or if war shows up at my front door, cause I can't rest like this yo.

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi TW,

I can see from your post and previous ones that there's a lot of angst, confusion and frustration going on in your head and you've mentioned before that your mental health is an ongoing issue. I really feel for you dear bro and I just wish I could reach out to you, maybe whiz over there and take you out for a coffee (I drink tea) and reassure you that blah blah blah ... everything's going to be fine and you believe and accept it. But do you know what? Actually, everything is going to be fine. How so? Because the God that you and I adore and who loves us both with unconditional and immeasurable love is in total control of every minute detail of everything that's going on. Nothing but nothing is outside or beyond the control of God and nothing takes Him by surprise because He knows the future in as much minute detail as He recalls the past.

Please, please, please don't worry about all the scary stuff in Revelation, it is FYI only. Whilst all that's going on you'll be upstairs with a couple of billion other saved believers, all outnumbered a couple of thousand to one by angels, arch angels and other heavenly beings, all worshipping the one true wonderful amazing God. What's happening down here will be a bit of side show.

So right now, instead of worrying and panicking, why don't you just get some practice in and focus instead on worshipping, praising and adoring God. 'You know God, the thing I love about you is ..... (long list). God, the things that you've done for me that I want to thank you for most are ..... (long list). Dear Lord God, you mean so much to me because .... (long list). Father, you're amazing because .... (long list). In fact I don't pray much about myself. God knows what I need and want, He loves me and so I can leave my care to Him. So instead of the long shopping list of wants, needs and whims (boring) ... PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE!!!

You'll feel so much better in yourself, more content and filled with the Holy Spirit and more confident in your outlook.

May God bless you TW and fill you with His Holy Spirit bro. By all means PM me if there's anything you want to chat about.

 

[Brad Huber]

Perhaps a demon spirit torments you so that you will reject the truth found in scripture. I will pray for you to be free!

 

[JerryfromMass]

Among Christians and non Christians, and even Christians and other Christians,

I have noticed a pattern of conflict unlike anything I have ever witnessed.


I speak this is truth:

I was suffering and I had a very hard time before reading the scriptures and studying it in depth, but never did I have such dark nights in my soul till I began trying to make sense of what didn't make sense; I never experienced such conflict beforehand. I never experienced such outstretched delusions and invasive and pervasive thoughts, and I never went through such a degree of humiliation and shame as I did when I read the words in the bible. I became extremely confused and psychotic, and I experienced torments that came straight from confusion. I never had thoughts of reforming all of mankind, or of taking over mankind, till I read about such instances in the scriptures and tried to comprehend them and the 'why.'


I hold no thing against Christianity or the scriptures or Christians,

and I did none of these any wrong,

but I tell you this: I never felt such torment ever before. I never went through such a high degree of confusion before, and that confusion is tormenting; I have left it behind. I also had never felt so separated and desperate before. I believe in God, though I live as though there were no God; else, how could I live?

I went through such terrible torment, and I have done no thing to receive it; I have always had the best in mind for others, but as soon as I tried to comprehend the judgement in the scriptures it was like being killed from the inside out and without cause.

I no longer need to comprehend God or Christianity,

but I will go on in the practice of what I know to be good and in peace.


I need to be right in the knowledge that I hold and the things that I do, and I make mistakes, and I know when I am wrong, and I change as I will; what I cannot do is try to be like Jesus, or God, and hold high the banner of Christianity; I will soon forget, and the wound may not heal, but I will even as I always have, have who I am.


As far as I can tell, God is the Law, and His divine person is in His divine Law of Love which can be seen in the righteousness of all recorded generations.


When the banner of War is lifted, as it has been in the past 100 years, multiple times,

is that not of the seven seals being broken? A judgement; as with pestilence, famine, and beasts.


If I explained what I see in revelations a lot of people with be surprised,
if I spoke what is in my mind after reading the scriptures, many would be terrified; if I spoke as one knowing anything to be true at all about the scriptures, except for the primary message, then I would be counted surely as a liar.


I am tired of feeling like I need to justify myself to myself and to/through others, and feeling unworthy, and feeling these ways, and here I am typing: I am not in prison, am I?


I have not considered this conflict to be God's doing--rather the contrary, I am not asking God 'why,' but I am acknowledging that so much of what I suffered through and even what I am still going through on occasion is subjective. I did say, that I became very delusional after reading the scriptures.

I'm taking a rest for the next decade or so, or if war shows up at my front door, cause I can't rest like this yo.

Our God is not a God of confusion. There are many things biblical that have been universally agreed upon since the beginning, and because they are absolute truths, those things are constantly attacked by the devil and his demons working in the minds of men. There are some things biblical that are not univerally agreed upon, and the absolute truth of those things is known by God. The devil and his demons also work to confuse the mind of man regarding those biblical things.

We are in a constant spiritual battle, but in Christ Jesus we have refuge and safety and eternal security. Outside of Christ, there is no peace. I pray you find peace in Jesus Christ. Amen.