Why is divorce unchristian?

[arunangelo]

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In marriage, spouses leave their parents and unite with each other (Mark 10:7) to become one flesh (Gen.2: 24). Because, it is a covenant of love, and God is love (1 John4:8), it is God who seals the marriage covenant; and no one can separate what God has joined together (Matt 19:6). In divorce, therefore, this covenant is not broken; it is rejected. Therefore, remarriage after divorce is adultery (Luke 16:18). Furthermore, since God seals this covenant, divorce is rejection of God. God, therefore, hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and is not pleased with the offerings of those who divorce their spouse (Malachi 2: 13-14). Jesus tells us that before making offering to God, we must reconcile with those with whom we have grievances (Matt. 5: 23-24). Therefore, a divorced person must first reconcile with his/her spouse before making an offering to the Lord. Furthermore, even if there is unfaithfulness a person must still stay faith to his/her spouse, just as God His faithful to us even when we reject Him (Hosea 3:1).

Divorce is absolutely prohibited in the Gospels (Mk 10:11-12, Luke 6:18; Matthew 5: 31-32). In Matthew’s gospel there appears to be an exception. The exception in the Greek text is porneia (which means incest or fornication), and not moiceia (which means adultery). In the Mosaic Law (Lv 18:6-18) certain types of marriages between close relatives were unlawful, because, they were regarded as incest (porneia). Certain rabbis, however, allowed gentile converts to Judaism to remain in such marriages. The exemption in Matthew’s gospel is against such permissiveness for gentile converts to Christianity. Fornication is another meaning for porneia. Therefore, this exception also applies to couples who fornicate by living together without a lawful marriage (also known as common law marriages).

surrendersacrifice
webs site: surrendersacrifice.com

 

[Faith4Bride]

AMEN!

I would also like to add a couple things to this. We also are to forgive everything that is done to us so that our Father will forgive us. IF we forgive everything that a spouse does to us- AND we stop being selfish and thinking about ourselves, but we put THEIR interestes and good first then we ourselves will have no justification for divorce. ( of course if the other spouse is doing the divorce all the spouse can do is try to reconcile and pray and stand in faith for the Lord to restore them, as we cannot make any man do anything only God can) But Love forgives and love believes all things and trusts all things and DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN which is where most divorce comes from. If we are TRULY dying daily to self, then we will have no room for flesh to take a stand and say the popular justifications for divorce to such as " i dont love him or her anymore" " i just need to be happy" " i shouldnt have to take this" " life is too short"(indeed it will be for you if you do not heed the Lord!).

Another reason people get into divorce is that they want to look to their spouse and say he or she is not being what God says they should be! WE SHOULD NOT DO THIS! we should however look to what God says WE are to be in that marriage and we should conform to that NO MATTER what our spouse is doing or how unchristlike they are being or how they treat us etc..

How terrible a thing, if we are willing to be persecuted by the world for Christ, but if we do not love our spouse enough to be persecuted by them! you do know oh wife if you will save your husband! and vice versa. We should love our spouse so much that we would be persecuted daily by them, and be thankful that we are the ones to be there to be persecuted, that no matter how many years that happens, if one day they are saved, or repent or get closer to the Lord because of our example, each day was worth it AND each day was perfect for us because it helped us to die to self and partake in the sufferings of Christ.

 

[foc]

Marriage covenant is a covenant of love.

Its a bit more than that, but agreed.

Since God is love (1 John4:8), it is a covenant of God.

This seems to be a non-sequitor argument.

No one therefore, can put aside the covenant (Matt 19:6).

This again is non-sequitor.

Divorce therefore, goes directly against God;

And this as well.
These steps you are setting up do not logically follow.
Just because God is love it does not follow that divorce is 'against' God.
He Himself gave a writ of divorcement, then later ended that covenant.
It is the SIN that causes divorcement is what is 'against' God, the divorce itself is not necessarily that sin.

and those who remarry after divorce commit adultery (Luke 16:18).

This is only partial evidence. Adultery is not always committed upon remarriage based on Christs own words.
Also, the Present Indicative form of 'committeth adultery' used to render Christs words from the Hebrew or Aramaic do not show any 'ongoing' adultery but instead shows only that the sin is happening in the present at the time of those acts themselves.

God is therefore, not pleased with the offering of those who divorce their spouse (Malachi 2: 13-14).

Most of what you presented so far was non-sequitor to begin with, as is the case with this assertion as well.

God always stays faithful to His covenant with us.

Correct.
He is 'faithful' to reward and He is faithful to condemn where apostasy is present.
This is the case in both the old and the new covenants as proven by Hebrews 6 and 10, among others.

When we were unfaithful to Him, He brought us healing by sacrificing His own life.

This is quite incomplete.
Who is it that Christs blood will save ? Everyone or those who 'endure till the end" ?
Christ died for sins, but only those who are faithful to Him/God will have His blood applied to their sins. Those who apostate cannot be brought back to repentance. Those who reject entirely are never sanctified by His blood to begin with.
So there is a bit more to the picture here that what was presented.

As believers, we are called to love our spouse just as Christ loves us (Eph 5:25).

That is correct.

The Lord told Hosea (Hosea 3:1), "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress.
Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes." We therefore, have to be faithful to our covenant with our spouse, even when there is unfaithfulness and hurt; and bring healing to our spouse by our prayers, sacrifices and support.

Hosea was a prophet who unique life was used by God to show what Israel had put Him thru.
Hosea situation is not comparable to any other marriage in existence in any time.
Only if a person was literally commanded to marry a harlot would Hosea be even remotely similar to ANY other marriage.
Hosea is not evidence either for or against any argument in the MDR issue. It is entirely irrelevant.

Divorce is absolutely prohibited by the Gospels (Mk 10:11-12, Luke 6:18; Matthew 5: 31-32).

Completely inaccurate.
Frivolous (for EVERY cause) divorce is the context entirely with the Jews and why Jesus taught about it so much. This frivolous divorcement to marry another is what Christ is condemning.

In Matthew’s gospel the exception is for unlawful marriages.

Erroneous.
Porneia is any and all illicit sex of any person either married or unmarried.
If the married person partakes of this illicit sex, it is also the marriage specific 'crime' of adultery.

The exception in the Greek text is porneia (which means incest or fornication), and not moiceia (which means adultery).

Exactly.
If Jesus had said 'except for adultery' He literally would have been limiting the grounds for divorce to ONLY illicit sexual activity post marriage.
In using porneia to render our Lords words into greek Matthew shows that Christ was also including things such as premarital sex and bestiality...ANY sexual perversion.
That is the reason porneia was used, because it covers sexual perversions that 'adultery' would not.

The exception is for marriages between close relatives, which according to Mosaic Law (Lv 18:6-18) were unlawful, because, they were considered as incest.

Absolutely incorrect.
There are at least two entire letters (Ephesians and Colossians) where sexual immorality is forbidden as a WHOLE and in neither of those letters is any form of adultery used.
If what you were saying were true, then those letters would ONLY be prohibiting incest. This also includes Acts 15, btw, and the instruction to the WHOLE gentile church.
Do you realize just how many OTHER acts of sexual immorality there are besides incest ?
Do we claim that in these other cases where ONLY porneia is used that ONLY incest is being forbidden ?

Porneia is is ALL harlotry/sexual immorality of ANY kind by any person, married or unmarried.
Jesus picked just the right word for His exception. He did not restrict His exception to only adultery post marriage.

 

[foc]

How terrible a thing, if we are willing to be persecuted by the world for Christ, but if we do not love our spouse enough to be persecuted by them!.

This is a terrible misunderstanding of Gods HOLY covenant of marriage.
We do not have a COVENANT with the world. If the world persecutes us it is just what they do because of who we are.
MARRIAGE, however, was created by GOD and unlike our dealings with the world marriage has rules and restrictions placed upon it. There are no rules set for the godless world with whom we no covenant with. They can treat us any way they wish.

We are not called to be abused by a covenant spouse.

 

[Maureen]

I couldn't imagine for one minute the Lord Jesus allowing
or expecting anyone to remain in a marraige that consisted of
abuse, either, physical, or mental.

He would not expect His children to be door mats.
He gave us a brain to use, not to be ruled by a spouse.

But to love each other equally.

When a life is in threat of danger, these times divorce must be
sought.

 

[foc]

I couldn't imagine for one minute the Lord Jesus allowing
or expecting anyone to remain in a marraige that consisted of
abuse, either, physical, or mental.

He would not expect His children to be door mats.
He gave us a brain to use, not to be ruled by a spouse.

But to love each other equally.

When a life is in threat of danger, these times divorce must be
sought.

What happens is that some folks misunderstand Pauls intent in 1 cor 7 to mean that ONLY the unbeliever can leave the marriage.
But we have to remember that Paul wasnt just spouting out what is in that chapter in a vacuum. Looking at the very first verse there we see that Paul is actually only answering very specific questions (1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me:), not laying out the entire scope of possibilities in a marriage. This is VERY critical to understanding Pauls intent as a whole.

Apparently the Corinthians thought that if they became saved that they might be defiled by the unsaved spouse. Paul assures them that this isnt the case and tells them that if the unbeliever is 'pleased' to remain (the greek clearly means mutually, not a one sided thing) then no, do not leave the marriage for no reason. The unsaved spouse is 'sanctified' by the saved spouse (Ive a feeling Paul said this merely to comfort the saved spouse since we know that no one is sanctified by Christs blood unless they are born again).

That is the context Paul is speaking in when he tells the corinthians to not just leave the marriage with an unbeliever. Paul seems to assume that the very most that might be going on is that the unbeliever is not very 'godly' in their behavior.

Pauls conditional statement, however, shows me very conclusively that we as believers dont put away unbelieving spouses *IF* the marriage is 'pleased'....ie. no REAL abuse...but that there MAY be conditions whereby we are permitted to end the marriage (abuse, adultery, abandonment).
Of course, we have to be very careful not to define 'abuse' as petty arguing or some other smaller problem. Otherwise we find ourselves allowing divorce over anything all over again.

 

[Maureen]

I do understand foc,

I was (I thank the Lord, it's past tense, at present) in such a marraige.
Every time my husband would 'act up' I'll call it, in drink, he'd give me
my marching orders, has put me out a few times, I've always come
back, after he's settled down and a few times even said he was sorry.

Lately has been good, he's still drinking, he's not an alcoholic, and I
dont want to paint him as such, but drink was effecting his personality
and he was verbally abusive to me, for no reason.

Now whatever the Lord has undertaken for me, my husband's
whole attitude has changed, that has to be our Lord Jesus,
it's sure not me, as he said just recently, you've (meaning me) have
really changed toward my drinking, this puzzled me so very much,
I asked, what do you mean, I'm still the same, I've not said or done
anything differant to normal, he insisted I had, so I just let him
believe that, and gave praise and thanks to the Lord Jesus for it.
If he see's it as me, I see it as Jesus, it must be Jesus in me.
Hallelujah.

 

[arunangelo]

We can all have our own ideas about who God is
but the fullness of the true God is revealed only in Jesus. He did not condemn
sinners but came to wash away their sins. He even died for sinners. To Be
followers of Jesus we must express the same faithfulness to our spouse (even
though our spouse may be unfaithul to us)[/

 

[foc]

We can all have our own ideas about who God is
but the fullness of the true God is revealed only in Jesus. He did not condemn
sinners but came to wash away their sins. He even died for sinners. To Be
followers of Jesus we must express the same faithfulness to our spouse (even
though our spouse may be unfaithul to us)[/

Can I ask why you are cutting and pasting your responses over many different forums ? Ive seen this same response on a couple different forums, I believe.

Concerning your post tho..

God was faithful to Israel...and He was faithful to END the covenant given to her thru the prophet Moses over her whoredoms.

Jesus Christ is faithful to His church....and He is faithful to put those who apostate against that covenant in Hell.

Jesus was FAITHFUL to His disciples...and He was FAITHFUL to condemn the one who was so close to Him and yet betrayed Him.

So it seems that you preach ONE side of faithfulness while rejecting the other side of it.

Faithfulness is not just about being oblivious to someone sin, it is also being FAITHFUL to carry out appropriate action when those actions are called for.

 

[Maureen]

okay, so God forbid, but if my husband was unfaithfull to me and
commited adultery, again, I say again because I have lived through
this once in my life with him, it may have been many years ago,
but I cannot see how I could accept it AGAIN.

God ordained marraige, and that we would both be faithful to each
other.
Matthew 19 v 6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder

 

[foc]

okay, so God forbid, but if my husband was unfaithfull to me and
commited adultery, again, I say again because I have lived through
this once in my life with him, it may have been many years ago,
but I cannot see how I could accept it AGAIN.

God ordained marraige, and that we would both be faithful to each
other.
Matthew 19 v 6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder

"let not put asunder' does not mean 'cannot put asunder', firstly.
Not that I promote divorce in any way, I just accept the fact that divorce is permissible under certain cases.
Also we bear in mind that Jesus was dealing with 'for EVERY cause' divorce with the Jews who were casting out their wives for no just reason at all. That is why Jesus did make sure to add that harlotry was still a reason we can divorce if it comes to that.

 

[Maureen]

Yes foc
I too agree that there must be certain circumstances
wherein Jesus would agree with divorce, a abusive marraige,
either physical or mentally and adultery.

My husband used to be a bar manager, and he was prayed
out of it, Hallelujah.
but there was a man used to come in and prop up the bar
he told him his wife was a christian and that he was able
to do anything and she wasn't allowed to leave him,
because of her Christianity.

I thought this was so awful for him to think that way of his
wife and it just didn't seem that it could be a right way.
How he came to that conclusion I don't know, but that
always stuck in my head.

 

[foc]

Yes foc
I too agree that there must be certain circumstances
wherein Jesus would agree with divorce, a abusive marraige,
either physical or mentally and adultery.

My husband used to be a bar manager, and he was prayed
out of it, Hallelujah.
but there was a man used to come in and prop up the bar
he told him his wife was a christian and that he was able
to do anything and she wasn't allowed to leave him,
because of her Christianity.

I thought this was so awful for him to think that way of his
wife and it just didn't seem that it could be a right way.
How he came to that conclusion I don't know, but that
always stuck in my head.

That is horrible.
You know, I know professed Christian men/husbands who do this very samy thing to their believing wives?
They do terrible things to her then use her faith against her by making her believe that she cannot divorce.

It is so repulsive that this is done to these innocent wives by these men. Personally, I think this is entirely the sort of man Moses and Jesus both were condemning in the scriptures who mistreated their wives like this.

 

[Maureen]

well said,
and I agree, it most likely was those men Jesus was speaking of.
Praise Him, He is so wonderful, never found with fault or blemish, our
perfect sacrifice.

 

[Ria]

Divorce

We had a chat about divorcing last week, and I see that there is some strong grounds, which is quite all right - it shouldn't be otherwise. If we donot stand for something, we will fall for anything.
Please tell me, from your point of view (any one reading this), is it sin that I divorced my aetheist husband, whom God warned me not to marry in the first place through a prophecy?

 

[Maureen]

Oh Ria
who am I to judge anyone, that is God's job, and only He and yourself know what happened in that marraige.

I would say Jesus would use His Holy Spirit in us and we would know by Him wether or not it was the right thing to do, you must have had good reason, not just because he was atheist?

If we are walking close with Jesus, hand in hand, putting Him first in everything, then we will know the right way,
If we are fully dependant on Him and Him alone, then we know what He wants from us, and His will shall prevail.

Don't know if I've helped, only know this is how I relate to it.

I know we don't carry guilt burdens around with us, that is of satan, he uses these situations to his benefit, tormenting us, making us doubt what we've done, Jesus took all that from us at the cross that is were it must stay don't go retreiving it, the Master knows best.

I used to think at one time, a few years back that Jesus didn't want me to be with my husband because he's not saved and he was making life somewhat difficult for me thtough drink, but then with time and prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit prick my heart, I knew that wasn't of Jesus it was the old enemy, trying to make me displease my Lord, but Jesus lead me His way, it was rough, but I'm still going on, praise Him, and I know He will save my husband, in His time, not mine.
I do get impatient and say 'when Lord when' but Jesus knows what we're made of, and understands us, after all He did create us in His image.

It's much easier for me now, all because I've let the Lord handle him, I knew I needed to step back, no good trying to rush things, that's useless, Jesus never rushed and He still doesn't.
I'm not saying it may have been the same in your first marraige, don't think that, I don't know why I got off on this path really, but it wasn't to mean that.

Many an atheist has been won over by Jesus, as He doesn't believe in them.
Again I'm not refering to your situation Ria.

I'm sure you did what you had to do, and it was the Lord who was leading you, I pray you won't take back any guilt from it, leave it were you took it, at the feet of Jesus.

 

[vivexfe]

I may help with verses...

Im only about to turn 17 but im going to get married soon and my dad is a pastor and has told me a few things about the bible concerning divorce. First and for most we should know that marriage was created as a spiritual union between a man and his wife, where aadultery was forbidden and they were meant to stay together for eternity. However, in the Bible people did get divorced (Mark 10:12; 1 Cor 7:13; Deut. 24:1-4) My father has a masters in theology and explained to me that if a person commits adultery once you should forgive them because God would do just that. However, if the person continnues commiting adultery and is not willing to stop, divorce can happen. In your case, if you get divorced, you are allowed to be remarry without commiting a sin, but if he remarries he will commit a yet another sin. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery" (Matt.19:9) The Greek word for immorality is porneia which is pornography. Immorality basically is sexual immorality like adultery which is a grounds for divorce according to Jesus....I hope this helps :coocoo: God Bless You in the decision you will make. && remember to always pray about it...

 

[Ria]

Hi, and thanx to both of you. I sorted it out with Father, or so I thought. 'Cause sometimes I would still wonder whether I did the right thing. 2 wrongs don't make 1 right, as my cell leader told me at that time.

 

[Maureen]

Ria
it's satan who sows that doubt in our minds, tell him at the name of Jesus he must flee.

You just keep on being strong in the Lord keep praising Him with your ministry, what do you do exactly? sing, play, what?
I love singing for Jesus I've always got on a cd and sing away, lifting up His name above all.
I don't have the guts to sing in front of people, I did once at the wee church before I left, because I just knew I had to return thanks and the song was just about all that.

I got a keyboard 2 Christmas's ago, and still can't play, I did really want to learn, and go around the nursing homes playing and singing for the elderly residents, but I couldn't learn it, too old, at 55, the brain can't remember what note follows next.
Took one paino lesson to try help me learn the keyboard, ah it was awful, I couldn't do the homework, and remember all those names of notes, so it sits here beside me in my pc room, till I find someone who can and we can do a duo and go sing for Jesus, I'm waiting till he sends someone who can.

 

[Ria]

Hi Maureen, nice talking to you again.
Thanks for the help.
I play piano, and love to sing. i had change to lead our previous congregation into worship - i loved that (i wanted to be a concert pianist) ha ha ha
About the notes on the piano: take a piece of sturdy paper, cut it out so it fits on top the notes at the back of the notes, put on the names of each note nice and clear. Work out your piece of music by writing the note names in. Mark the high notes with ' Mark the low notes with ,
Maybe it helps, i hope so!
God bless you!