This poem deals with some very deep issues I've struggled with in the past. Don't think I'm like this now, it is a reflection to times when I didn't know Jesus very well.
What Happened To Yesterday (Mind Under Madness)
The days slip by,
I'm left forgetting where I came from.
Life is just a blink of an eye,
But my eyes burn from holding them open,
I mustn't fight to stay awake,
For I long to see nothing but the back of my eyelids.
How is it that life cannot pause for a moment?
We rush and wait, walking in place.
Many years wasted without helping ourselves,
Years spent with sleepless nights
Filled with the anxiety of fighting insomnia.
Sleeping pills only leave a bad taste in your mouth.
The end of the line is what separates us,
We run out of space to reach for more,
Walls within arms length suppress our outreached arms.
Our very beseeching becomes a clash
Of what we want and what we need.
Things have become so complicated.
When the only way out is up,
We see ourselves falling further down.
The message, a dull buzzing in our ears.
Nobody hears the voice of the deep
But me and my faulty, deaf ears.
For I hear what is not really there.
Long and hard I fought to continue,
I crawled when I couldn't walk anymore,
Heading to nowhere, grasping a phantom hand,
Trying to pull myself out of the quicksand,
The more I struggled the deeper I was taken,
Until I was in over my head, and fading away.
Many times I thought of things so dark,
No water to quench the thirst of my spirit,
I dried out and was consumed by the fire,
Nothing but a broken dream to live for,
My only strength sapped from my flailing limbs,
Nobody was there for me and I was just a joke.
Funny how a joke can be offensive,
And the only laugh is but a nervous response.
A scary disease eating away at sanity,
The only peace was found in brief moments of rest,
When my body refused to be pushed any further.
How hell is found when nobody believes in you.
Those memories finally dying out,
The confusion clearing a little.
How far I've come.
How much further I must go.
What Happened To Yesterday (Mind Under Madness)
The days slip by,
I'm left forgetting where I came from.
Life is just a blink of an eye,
But my eyes burn from holding them open,
I mustn't fight to stay awake,
For I long to see nothing but the back of my eyelids.
How is it that life cannot pause for a moment?
We rush and wait, walking in place.
Many years wasted without helping ourselves,
Years spent with sleepless nights
Filled with the anxiety of fighting insomnia.
Sleeping pills only leave a bad taste in your mouth.
The end of the line is what separates us,
We run out of space to reach for more,
Walls within arms length suppress our outreached arms.
Our very beseeching becomes a clash
Of what we want and what we need.
Things have become so complicated.
When the only way out is up,
We see ourselves falling further down.
The message, a dull buzzing in our ears.
Nobody hears the voice of the deep
But me and my faulty, deaf ears.
For I hear what is not really there.
Long and hard I fought to continue,
I crawled when I couldn't walk anymore,
Heading to nowhere, grasping a phantom hand,
Trying to pull myself out of the quicksand,
The more I struggled the deeper I was taken,
Until I was in over my head, and fading away.
Many times I thought of things so dark,
No water to quench the thirst of my spirit,
I dried out and was consumed by the fire,
Nothing but a broken dream to live for,
My only strength sapped from my flailing limbs,
Nobody was there for me and I was just a joke.
Funny how a joke can be offensive,
And the only laugh is but a nervous response.
A scary disease eating away at sanity,
The only peace was found in brief moments of rest,
When my body refused to be pushed any further.
How hell is found when nobody believes in you.
Those memories finally dying out,
The confusion clearing a little.
How far I've come.
How much further I must go.
