What do I do

[livingforhim]

I have been married to a believer for the past 4 years. He is currently addicted to drugs and he states he wants to have a beer in the evening when he gets off from work. I have tried everything I know to ask him to get help. I have tried encourgement, arguing, threats none doing. He keeps saying and promising changes nothing happens but everyday I live with lies, deceit and uncertainties. Verbal abusive when I don't agree to the things he says. We have many bills but he only helps with one. The rest of the money is wasted. I am tired and I want out. I feel strongly that I know I can't want him to change he has to want and I don't see that happening.
Can someone tell me if leaving him is wrong. I don't think so. I feel like God wouldn't want me to stay with someone who knows to do right and continues to do wrong on an almost daily basis.

 

[Bobinfaith]

I have been married to a believer for the past 4 years. He is currently addicted to drugs and he states he wants to have a beer in the evening when he gets off from work. I have tried everything I know to ask him to get help. I have tried encourgement, arguing, threats none doing. He keeps saying and promising changes nothing happens but everyday I live with lies, deceit and uncertainties. Verbal abusive when I don't agree to the things he says. We have many bills but he only helps with one. The rest of the money is wasted. I am tired and I want out. I feel strongly that I know I can't want him to change he has to want and I don't see that happening.
Can someone tell me if leaving him is wrong. I don't think so. I feel like God wouldn't want me to stay with someone who knows to do right and continues to do wrong on an almost daily basis.

Dear LivingforHim,

Thank you for sharing and for your honesty. You mentioned that your husband is a believer. When he wants to drink a beer in the evening, is that what you mean by him being addicted to drugs? He only wants to help you pay one bill out of many payables? He gets verbally abusive when you both are in disagreement?

This saddens me. But what really saddens me is that you feel God would not want you to stay with someone who does not stay on course on a daily basis.
However, not once have you mentioned Jesus Christ, or our Father in your testimony.

Your marriage has serious issues but not to the point of separation or divorce. With God nothing is impossible. While one partner in the marriage is slumping the other is used by God to continue as the light, the witness, being Christ like. You need to seek God's lead in cultivating your husband and bringing him back to the man God wants him to be in your marriage. You need to seek God to sustain you during these times. But not alone. Think about this.

There are many scriptures about marriage and God did not intend marriage to be open to separation or divorce because of irreconcilable differences, except extreme adultry. God gave you and your husband an incredible gift, your marriage! If he will not fight for saving your marriage, then you must fight for your marriage, sister.

Have you sought your pastor, priest, your sisters in Christ, Christian marriage counselor? Your husband may be in denial and refuse to seek counsel at this time so it is important to share with the spiritual leaders whom you can lean on and they will pray corporately with you. Prayer is powerful!!

Many of us here at Talk Jesus are not specialized in marriage counseling but we will pray for you as well, LivingforHim.

Please read and meditate on Hebrews 11:6, And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

And Lamentations 3:22-23, Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

We love you, LivingforHim. As you continue to seek God, your spiritual leaders for intercessory prayer, then get out of God's way and let Him begin the healing in your marriage. It will take time and perserverance, and steadfast faith and trust, however, we all are with you now.

Your servant in Christ Jesus.

 

[livingforhim]

Thank you Bob. God has lifted my head and spirits many times when I have felt like giving up. My husband is a nice guy sometimes when he isn't drinking. When I say drugs I mean c. I have found my husband in hotels with women twice and he says they weren't doing anything they were just getting high together. He asks me to continue to trust him and it's hard. I ask God how much of this does one take. He has not been nor is he being a husband to me or a father to the children. Children are 13 & 15. I have forgiveness in my heart but at what point am I being a crutch. I believe if I wasn't here filling in he would have to man up and do what he knows he has to do and be responsible. When he doesn't give me the money for rent then I have to provide for all the bills and when I do he still gives me a hard time by finding some type of fault in me. I am not saying I don't do wrong. I get angry at times and say things I should not and that triggers him when I don't be kind. I do not know fellow christians that I associate with. I go to church but after service I am out.

 

[Bobinfaith]

Dear Living For Him,

I praise God for you, sister! Its going to take a step by step, small and large process in the beginning.

The first step is prayer. Just commune with God in your own words. Begin by exalting Him first, LOVING God first, seeking Him first. Then, don't hold back the anger (be mindful though, who you are praying to), or tears, its a way for God to begin the cleansing in you. Please read this thread;
http://www.talkjesus.com/showthread.php?t=896

Ask your children to be alone with you and pray in your own words for their father.
Ask God to lead you to speak with your pastor. Please make an appointment with him. You need to go to your pastor because God is using him to shepherd you.

This is the second step for later after speaking with your pastor is communication. You need to sit down with your husband, and just speak from your heart with LOVE, and keep your tone gentle; http://www.talkjesus.com/showthread.php?t=1080

One day when God confirms the healing process in your marriage, please meditate on this thread regarding quality time together, just you and your spouse. You need to allow God to reveal the appreciation you have for each other. The many years you have been together through the tough times and the tough times, followed by the blessings of God's gift of your children and that you both have come a long way, and you are still standing! Praise His wonderful name! http://www.talkjesus.com/showthread.php?t=1342

We are already in prayer for you at Talk Jesus, LivingforHim.

Rest for the weary. Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Your servant in Christ Jesus.