Families we all have them and we all love them ,most of us at some time or another regret we couldnt choose our family members.
When a member of a family is hurting or ill, we tend to try help them in the best way we can. But what if we hurt them even more ?
It happens, our Love can cause heartache at times, Why? because we dont listen, we rush in and try to force the one who is hurting to follow our rules to let us make them better. Although our intentions are good the outcome is bad.
Example -
A family member is very overweight ,we are concerned so we try to encourage them to diet and exercise. Without realising it we are forcing our opinions down their necks and pushing them in the wrong direction. It is because of Love we do this, but most of us become so obsessed with making them better we forget to ask them do they want our help in the first place.
From my own experience, members of my family have tried to help me out of different hard times in my life. They pushed and pushed telling me what to do and which way to do it, not thinking of my feelings or how i feel about the course of action they are recommending, this resulted in more pressure being pushed upon me ,not only do i have to deal with the original problem i am now trying not to let this person down and i end up feeling trapped and alone.
Listening first is always the best route to take, then and only then ask if your help is wanted, and if it is remember just because it worked for you does not mean it will work for someone else. Sometimes we have to stand back and allow others to keep making mistakes ,and just be there to love them when they get hurt.
When a member of a family is hurting or ill, we tend to try help them in the best way we can. But what if we hurt them even more ?
It happens, our Love can cause heartache at times, Why? because we dont listen, we rush in and try to force the one who is hurting to follow our rules to let us make them better. Although our intentions are good the outcome is bad.
Example -
A family member is very overweight ,we are concerned so we try to encourage them to diet and exercise. Without realising it we are forcing our opinions down their necks and pushing them in the wrong direction. It is because of Love we do this, but most of us become so obsessed with making them better we forget to ask them do they want our help in the first place.
From my own experience, members of my family have tried to help me out of different hard times in my life. They pushed and pushed telling me what to do and which way to do it, not thinking of my feelings or how i feel about the course of action they are recommending, this resulted in more pressure being pushed upon me ,not only do i have to deal with the original problem i am now trying not to let this person down and i end up feeling trapped and alone.
Listening first is always the best route to take, then and only then ask if your help is wanted, and if it is remember just because it worked for you does not mean it will work for someone else. Sometimes we have to stand back and allow others to keep making mistakes ,and just be there to love them when they get hurt.
