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Are you being unrealistic?
'Are you being unrealistic...DON'T DO YOUR GOOD DEEDS PUBLICLY, TO BE ADMIRED BY OTHERS...' MATTHEW 6:1
When you do something for somebody expecting the favour to be returned, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Jesus said, 'When you help someone...do it - quietly and unobtrusively' (Matthew 6:3-4 TM); 'Your Father knows what is done in secret, and he will reward you' (Matthew 6:4 CEV). There are certain things everybody has a right to, like basic respect but too often we place expectations on other people that they will never be able to fulfil. Then when they don't meet our demands we act hurt, when in reality it was our own misguided assumptions that caused the problem.
A well-known counsellor says, 'Many of us have unmet needs from the past...we want others to fulfil our desire to be loved unconditionally...some of us are so needy we drive people away.'
Couples can be really tragic at projecting on to each other things they need to work on personally. It's not fair to expect another person to 'fix you' or try to make them whom you want them to be in order to make you happy. That kind of behaviour just causes stress, arguments and an unhealthy dependency you'll end up dealing with later.
Do you ever expect other people to read your mind when you haven't taken the time to spell out your expectations? How can you blame somebody for not doing something they didn't know you wanted?! Understand this: people aren't your answer, God is. If He chooses to use a certain person to bless you He'll do it; if not He'll use somebody else. So check your thinking today and ask God to reveal and remove any unrealistic expectations you're living with.
written by Bob Gass
'Are you being unrealistic...DON'T DO YOUR GOOD DEEDS PUBLICLY, TO BE ADMIRED BY OTHERS...' MATTHEW 6:1
When you do something for somebody expecting the favour to be returned, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Jesus said, 'When you help someone...do it - quietly and unobtrusively' (Matthew 6:3-4 TM); 'Your Father knows what is done in secret, and he will reward you' (Matthew 6:4 CEV). There are certain things everybody has a right to, like basic respect but too often we place expectations on other people that they will never be able to fulfil. Then when they don't meet our demands we act hurt, when in reality it was our own misguided assumptions that caused the problem.
A well-known counsellor says, 'Many of us have unmet needs from the past...we want others to fulfil our desire to be loved unconditionally...some of us are so needy we drive people away.'
Couples can be really tragic at projecting on to each other things they need to work on personally. It's not fair to expect another person to 'fix you' or try to make them whom you want them to be in order to make you happy. That kind of behaviour just causes stress, arguments and an unhealthy dependency you'll end up dealing with later.
Do you ever expect other people to read your mind when you haven't taken the time to spell out your expectations? How can you blame somebody for not doing something they didn't know you wanted?! Understand this: people aren't your answer, God is. If He chooses to use a certain person to bless you He'll do it; if not He'll use somebody else. So check your thinking today and ask God to reveal and remove any unrealistic expectations you're living with.
written by Bob Gass
