All right, I confess. Senility is catching up to me. This is one of my most popular puppet shows, that I did from the ‘70s through the ‘90s for churches, Christian schools, etc.. I remember being inspired to write it by reading a Christian book. But I lost the book at least 20 years ago, and now can’t remember what inspired it, of even which book it was. It was a perfect illustration of some Christian idea or doctrine or something and now I have no idea what it is.
C. S. Lewis said that the closest thing he had to a hobby was that after he wrote a book he would rush out to read the reviews of his book to find out what he had really been writing about. Now I am doing the same thing, though not for the same reason. So if you can figure out what the moral of the story is, or what it is really about, do let me know.
THE PUPPY
A young boy and his puppy are sitting in their yard by a shoddy sign. "Puppi fer sail cheep". He calls out to passersby in dispirited manner. “Oh, come on. Won't somebody please buy this puppy from me? I've been out here all day.” HE turns to the puppy. “Stupid puppy. I sold all the other ones. I only have you left. Oh. Here comes somebody now. Oh Mister, won't you please buy my puppy? I know he ain't much, but he ain't that bad. Only a buck.”
The passing businessman looks down. “No, thank you. I'm not in the market for a puppy, today.”
“50 cents? A quarter?”
“No, no. You know kid, you're going about this all wrong.”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are. You see kid, when you want to sell something, you try to make it seem even bigger and better and more beautiful than it is. Admittedly you don't have much to work with, with that poor excuse for a puppy.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy. Down. Now take your sign, for example. It looks terrible.”
“It does?”
“Yes, it does. The whole point of a sign is to attract favorable attention. Your sign attracts attention, all right. But it isn't favorable attention. The colors are dull and dingy. All four words in the sign are misspelled.”
“They are?”
“Yes, they are. You have to pay attention to details. ‘A business with no sign is a sign of no business.’ And a shoddy sign is a sign of shoddy merchandise. Which in this case may be true.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy. Down. Which brings us to the second point about the sign.”
“What's that Mister?”
“You used a forbidden word here. Cheap. Never advertise something as cheap. Use words like bargain, or discounted, or 20% off sale.”
“Really? Why is that?”
“Cheap as used by the seller gives the idea that this is substandard quality that you are selling. Though in this case it probably is true.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy! Down. No kid, if you want to sell this puppy - and I don't blame you in the least -”
“GRR! Bark! Bark!”
“Down, puppy! Down! I have a rolled up newspaper in my briefcase, and I know how to use it! As I was saying; the thing you should do is make this puppy seem like the biggest, best and most beautiful puppy in the world. Make him seem like a puppy people would want to buy. Comb his hair. Tie a ribbon around his neck with a bow in it. Take his bad points and turn them into good points.”
“How do I do that?”
“Take his unfriendly attitude.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy! Down. There you go. That means he would be a good watchdog. He won't let any strangers come close.”
“Oh, I see.”
“And most important of all, give him a bath. He smells terrible.”
The puppy attacks. “GRR! Bark! Bark! Bark!”
“Down, puppy! Down. DOWN! Down. Down.” The businessman flees rapidly, pursued by the puppy.
“Bark! Bark! Bark! Awoo!”
The kid is upset, and chases the man and the puppy. “Hey! Come back with that puppy! Or at least pay for him first!”
The next afternoon, the man is walking down the same street. There is a sign, which says: "Tremendous Puppy For Sale. Special Today, Only $10,000."
“Say, this is where that kid was trying to sell his puppy the other day. I wonder if he followed my advice? Hmm. Must be. There is a sign up here. Oh. Now that is a nice looking sign. That certainly grabs the attention. Let's see what it says. T-R-E. Tree. Oh trees. I like trees. Now how does that poem of Ogden Nash's go? Oh yeah, that's it.”
"I think that I shall never see,
A billboard lovely as a tree.
And unless someday that billboard falls,
I not going to see any trees at all."
“Oh I love his poems. I wish I could write poems like that.”
The sign shakes in negative fashion.
“Huh? What's that? Oh, there's more to the sign. T-R-E-M-E-N. Treemen. Oh, I remember the Treemen. They were that rock group, had the song. ‘Great Oaks From Little Acorns Grow.’ I used to like that song. I guess they are putting on a concert.”
The sign shakes no.
“Oh? There's more to the sign. T-R-E-M-E-N-D-O-U-S. Tremendous. Tremendous? Oh. Tremendous! Wonderful! Marvelous! Hooray! And a good time was had by all. Yes. Huh?”
The sign shakes again.
“What's this? There's more words? And what do they say? ‘Tremendous puppy for sale.’ Oh, yes, then this is where that kid was yesterday. I wonder how he did? This is a much better sign than the one he had yesterday. The words are spelled right, and it is a good balance of color, letter style and positioning. I guess he must have sold the puppy, because I don't see him around anywhere.”
The sign shakes yes.
“What? There's more? ‘Special Today.’ Oh, that's a good touch. Gives the unspoken statement that it won't be here tomorrow, or that the price will go up if you don't get it now. Yes I like that. And the last two words are: ‘Only $10,000.' The businessman gags, and drops his briefcase in shock. “What!?! Oh, no! He didn't put that up there, did he?”
The sign happily bobs yes.
“He did? Te - he - hoo. Urgh! Ten... Thousand... Dollars?” He yells at the top of his lungs. “Kid! Kid! Ho, Kid. Oh, Kid!”
The kid comes out of the house. “Oh, is that you mister? Gee, I want to thank you for helping me with my sign and all the other advice you gave. It really helped.”
“Oh, kid I didn't mean for you to go overboard on it. I just meant for you to raise the price a little. Not $10,000! You'll never be able to sell him at that rate.”
“Oh, but I did.”
“You did? You did? You sold that puppy for $10,000?”
“I sure did. You really know your stuff, mister.”
“You really got $10,000 cash for that mangy mutt?”
“Well, no. I didn't get $10,000 in cash money, but I did trade him for $10,000's worth.”
“In trade? Oh. What did you get for him? Stocks? Bonds? Real estate? Diamonds? A famous oil painting?”
“No, I traded him for two $5,000 ducks.”
The two $5,000 ducks exit the house and angrily quack at the man. “Quack! Quack! Qua-quack! Quack!”
The man runs off pursued by the ducks. “Down, duckies! Down!”
C. S. Lewis said that the closest thing he had to a hobby was that after he wrote a book he would rush out to read the reviews of his book to find out what he had really been writing about. Now I am doing the same thing, though not for the same reason. So if you can figure out what the moral of the story is, or what it is really about, do let me know.
THE PUPPY
A young boy and his puppy are sitting in their yard by a shoddy sign. "Puppi fer sail cheep". He calls out to passersby in dispirited manner. “Oh, come on. Won't somebody please buy this puppy from me? I've been out here all day.” HE turns to the puppy. “Stupid puppy. I sold all the other ones. I only have you left. Oh. Here comes somebody now. Oh Mister, won't you please buy my puppy? I know he ain't much, but he ain't that bad. Only a buck.”
The passing businessman looks down. “No, thank you. I'm not in the market for a puppy, today.”
“50 cents? A quarter?”
“No, no. You know kid, you're going about this all wrong.”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are. You see kid, when you want to sell something, you try to make it seem even bigger and better and more beautiful than it is. Admittedly you don't have much to work with, with that poor excuse for a puppy.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy. Down. Now take your sign, for example. It looks terrible.”
“It does?”
“Yes, it does. The whole point of a sign is to attract favorable attention. Your sign attracts attention, all right. But it isn't favorable attention. The colors are dull and dingy. All four words in the sign are misspelled.”
“They are?”
“Yes, they are. You have to pay attention to details. ‘A business with no sign is a sign of no business.’ And a shoddy sign is a sign of shoddy merchandise. Which in this case may be true.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy. Down. Which brings us to the second point about the sign.”
“What's that Mister?”
“You used a forbidden word here. Cheap. Never advertise something as cheap. Use words like bargain, or discounted, or 20% off sale.”
“Really? Why is that?”
“Cheap as used by the seller gives the idea that this is substandard quality that you are selling. Though in this case it probably is true.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy! Down. No kid, if you want to sell this puppy - and I don't blame you in the least -”
“GRR! Bark! Bark!”
“Down, puppy! Down! I have a rolled up newspaper in my briefcase, and I know how to use it! As I was saying; the thing you should do is make this puppy seem like the biggest, best and most beautiful puppy in the world. Make him seem like a puppy people would want to buy. Comb his hair. Tie a ribbon around his neck with a bow in it. Take his bad points and turn them into good points.”
“How do I do that?”
“Take his unfriendly attitude.”
“GRR!”
“Down, puppy! Down. There you go. That means he would be a good watchdog. He won't let any strangers come close.”
“Oh, I see.”
“And most important of all, give him a bath. He smells terrible.”
The puppy attacks. “GRR! Bark! Bark! Bark!”
“Down, puppy! Down. DOWN! Down. Down.” The businessman flees rapidly, pursued by the puppy.
“Bark! Bark! Bark! Awoo!”
The kid is upset, and chases the man and the puppy. “Hey! Come back with that puppy! Or at least pay for him first!”
The next afternoon, the man is walking down the same street. There is a sign, which says: "Tremendous Puppy For Sale. Special Today, Only $10,000."
“Say, this is where that kid was trying to sell his puppy the other day. I wonder if he followed my advice? Hmm. Must be. There is a sign up here. Oh. Now that is a nice looking sign. That certainly grabs the attention. Let's see what it says. T-R-E. Tree. Oh trees. I like trees. Now how does that poem of Ogden Nash's go? Oh yeah, that's it.”
"I think that I shall never see,
A billboard lovely as a tree.
And unless someday that billboard falls,
I not going to see any trees at all."
“Oh I love his poems. I wish I could write poems like that.”
The sign shakes in negative fashion.
“Huh? What's that? Oh, there's more to the sign. T-R-E-M-E-N. Treemen. Oh, I remember the Treemen. They were that rock group, had the song. ‘Great Oaks From Little Acorns Grow.’ I used to like that song. I guess they are putting on a concert.”
The sign shakes no.
“Oh? There's more to the sign. T-R-E-M-E-N-D-O-U-S. Tremendous. Tremendous? Oh. Tremendous! Wonderful! Marvelous! Hooray! And a good time was had by all. Yes. Huh?”
The sign shakes again.
“What's this? There's more words? And what do they say? ‘Tremendous puppy for sale.’ Oh, yes, then this is where that kid was yesterday. I wonder how he did? This is a much better sign than the one he had yesterday. The words are spelled right, and it is a good balance of color, letter style and positioning. I guess he must have sold the puppy, because I don't see him around anywhere.”
The sign shakes yes.
“What? There's more? ‘Special Today.’ Oh, that's a good touch. Gives the unspoken statement that it won't be here tomorrow, or that the price will go up if you don't get it now. Yes I like that. And the last two words are: ‘Only $10,000.' The businessman gags, and drops his briefcase in shock. “What!?! Oh, no! He didn't put that up there, did he?”
The sign happily bobs yes.
“He did? Te - he - hoo. Urgh! Ten... Thousand... Dollars?” He yells at the top of his lungs. “Kid! Kid! Ho, Kid. Oh, Kid!”
The kid comes out of the house. “Oh, is that you mister? Gee, I want to thank you for helping me with my sign and all the other advice you gave. It really helped.”
“Oh, kid I didn't mean for you to go overboard on it. I just meant for you to raise the price a little. Not $10,000! You'll never be able to sell him at that rate.”
“Oh, but I did.”
“You did? You did? You sold that puppy for $10,000?”
“I sure did. You really know your stuff, mister.”
“You really got $10,000 cash for that mangy mutt?”
“Well, no. I didn't get $10,000 in cash money, but I did trade him for $10,000's worth.”
“In trade? Oh. What did you get for him? Stocks? Bonds? Real estate? Diamonds? A famous oil painting?”
“No, I traded him for two $5,000 ducks.”
The two $5,000 ducks exit the house and angrily quack at the man. “Quack! Quack! Qua-quack! Quack!”
The man runs off pursued by the ducks. “Down, duckies! Down!”
