I was fairly well versed in Christianity throughout my school years, and a couple of years later, having visited Lee Abbey in the autumn, asked Jesus to come into my life the following spring.
Among other illustrations around the Lee Abbey hall was a plough with the biblical warning that "He who puts his hand to the plough and looks back, is lost".
Of course one does look back, and as a result, for many wasted years I felt uncertain about my faith.
Some points of faith you should reconsider.
Fortunately, the "March of a thousand men" came to the village, and when I explained that I felt that I was probably lost, I was reassured that once I had made the commitment, Jesus would never give up on me.
One point for reconsideration is that Jesus never had confidence in us to ask us to make a commitment or a promise to Him; but instead, to deny ourselves as able to follow Him as we were unable to save ourselves, and pick up our cross daily in the sense that it is not we who live, but Christ in us, is the how we are to follow Him by trusting Him as our Good Shepherd to help us to follow Him ( Luke 9:23 KJV ); for without faith it is impossible to please God; Hebrews 11:6 KJV
Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
No commitment nor promises is required when we, as little children, are to take Him at His word that once received at our salvation, He will never leave us.
1 Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
Matthew 28:18 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. .....20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you:
and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
So all He is asking from you is to trust Him that since your salvation, He will never leave you. Granted, we are still in this fallen flesh for which we are cautioned not to grieve the Holy Spirit because He is not going anywhere.
Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
We are always Spirit-filled as a testimony from God that we are saved since we had believed in Jesus Christ at the calling of the gospel.
Matthew 9:17 Neither do men put new wine into old bottles: else the bottles break, and the wine runneth out, and the bottles perish: but they put new wine into new bottles, and both are preserved.
2 Thessalonians 2:13 But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth: 14 Whereunto he called you by our gospel, to the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 15 Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle.
That is why in regards to this point of faith, our words should match His words in that we are forever Spirit-filled as a testimony from God in us that we are saved thanks to Jesus Christ at the calling of the gospel. Anything contrary to that testimony is not of Him but of the world for which many has been prophesied that would depart from faith in giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of devils, thinking they can receive the Holy Spirit again apart from salvation.
I have been going to some Full Gospel meetings for about 10 years, and several times have seen people come forward, who were "Slain in the Spirit".
Wishing to be closer to Jesus, I have gone forward, but I wasn't slain, nor did I receive the gift of tongues, I think, that like being christened, it can not be done twice. I have several friends that do speak in tongues.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. 34 Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.
Such fellowship in their company can influence and eventually make you receptive of those spirits to receive after a sign if you believe the lie that you can receive the Holy Spirit "again" since He & the Son & the Father has never left. The fact that you refer to the Holy Spirit as a "her" in your quote below when Jesus referred to the Holy Spirit with the pronouns of "he" and "him", should be proof of their undue influence rather than the leading of the indwelling Holy Spirit in His words.
The Holy Spirit is very good to me, always so ready to help, and fortunately I usually remember to thank her, so I now feel assured of a place in heaven; not in one of the many mansions that Jesus mentioned; I will just be so grateful of a tumbled down cottage in a far corner.
There is only one drink of the One Spirit by the Father, Whom we all have been baptized by in Jesus's name. There can be no deference from that testimony we all are supposed to share; thus no other drink of the One Spirit apart from salvation.
1 Corinthians 12:13 For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.
That is why believers are falling down because they are drinking from another fountain for believing in that lie that they can receive the Holy Spirit at other times besides at their salvation.
Proverbs 25:26 A righteous man falling down before the wicked is as a troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring. 27 It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own glory is not glory. 28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
That is why they are falling down because they are drinking from another spirit; hence another fountain. Those who come to Jesus Christ has been promised by Him that they would never hunger nor thirst thus proving this other drink is not of Him at all but another calling and thus another gospel which is not of Him.
John 6:35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.
Those who fall down in confusion, do glory in it as it draws attention to them while receiving that spirit that after the sign of knocking them down, entice others to chase after them to receive in like manner.
So without a doubt, brother Thomas, you need to go before that throne of grace and ask Jesus for help, because He is the only access to the Father as the Son is the only One that answers prayers so that the Father may be glorified in Him.
John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. ..........13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
The Holy Spirit is not to be addressed nor thanked because it is the will of the Father to relate to Him by way of the Bridegroom so keep your eyes on Him since we had been reconciled to God thru Jesus Christ, then we can only live this reconciled relationship with God thru Jesus Christ; Jesus relates to us thru the Holy Spirit in us, but our response is back to the Bridegroom, not back thru the Holy Spirit in us.
John 10:7 Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them. 9 I am the door: ...
That is why scripture only provided one kind of invitation in coming to God the Father by for anything and that is why the Holy Spirit in believers is still pointing believers to go to the Son for everything to avoid the spirits of the antichrist.
You may find the Lord Jesus Christ leading you away from that fellowship since they will never receive correction as they will take pride in it rather than repent to be found abiding in His words when the Bridegroom comes.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
