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The lost faith

Member

Shy

It's such a long story, that I, myself, don't know where to start.

Probably the best start would be then, when I was about 11-12 years old, and it was my first time going to a spanish school, since I came to Spain without knowing any language like spanish or english.

But leaving everything behind, I want to share with you my story and how I found a way to find back my faith which was losts for a period of time.

Probably 2 months later when I was in Spain, I was supposed to go to school at 9 AM, so my mom came at 7 AM to my room and was waiting til the exact hour to wake me up. But then, I woke up a bit and tried to sleep a bit more, but then, in that exact moment is when I saw the Death in my eyes.

Sounds crazy and unbelivable, however, I know what I saw.

Happened twice in a row to me, but good my mom was there, otherwise I would die while sleeping in my own bed. I was dead for about 20 seconds.

I did my calculation few years back then, and I discovered that the soul leaves the body after 1 minute, but not 20 or 30 seconds.

However, I'm afraid I can't tell you what I saw, because I feel like it would be forbidden to tell, but the only think I can say is, that in that day, I knew that I wouldn't need to be afraid of my future death.


After about 3 years, we moved twice, and one to a street called Nazaret here in my city. We lived there for about 5 years, however, during that time, strange things were happening, not only to me, but also to my whole family.

The first year we moved, everything started when I could predict the future through my dreams, however I couldn't control that at all (a friend called me psychic) This keeps happening though, usually in dreams or when I start thinking and enter my imagination, in the next few minutes, hours or days it happens again, the way I imagined.

I never could explain these things even to myself, to I let it be, however, the second year, was when everything started to go bad, not only to me but my whole family: we had trouble with the house, I had trouble in the school, others in work etc.

But I want to tell you here something, I barely say to anyone.

The place where I lived, Nazaret street, was haunted. Yes, it was haunted by a 8 year girl I always could see.
The thing was, I realized she isn't bad when we had to move in may this year.

The first time I saw her was outside and inside my room, watching me, black long hair, full white eyes and a small dress which looked like medieval kind thing, I barely can remember now.

But to make this story short, I always saw her, and noticed she "tried" to protect me from the bad spirit which was always around me, a 20 years old young man, black hair, blue eyes and always a black cape. I spoke to him once and asked:
Me: What do you want from me?
Man: I want you
That day I was only 15, and that's how the girl started to take more actions. I spoke with my mom about it, and told me it's a poor lost spirit looking for peace. My mom even suggested me to bless her, however, now I'm ashamed I didn't.

Things were getting pretty bad, it was yet in December 2008 when I was to my homeland Poland, for Christmas to my sis so she wouldn't be alone. I was getting worse at studies without any logical reasons, my family was always mad at something, and I felt like it was always my fault.

I lost my faith because of such stupid things that happened in my life. I blamed God for giving me a future I didn't want, I blamed him for everything.

On January this year I met a man who showed me something I will or might never feel: Love

His name is David and he was the only one to show me the beauty of this world. I always said: "I'm not emo, I'm just emotional" and yes I keep being so, however I guess it's my nature and I can't change it anymore.

On February, my Church planned to go to Lourdes in France, and I was doubtful if to go, however my friend said I should. It was hard decission since I lost my faith, and all I can say, I did make the right decission.

We went to Lourdes in France, such beautiful city with a story of Bernadette and how she met Virgin Mary. Until now I love the story, to read and hear it.
The first day in Lourdes we went to pray outside the Church. It was the cave/place where Bernadette met Virgin Mary, and I remember that day like it was yesterday.
While all my companions were all cold, me, standing and praying, I could feel something warm upon my hands, like somebody would touch me - That day I knew it was Mary, coming to me knowing I needed help even if such things are stupid, but yet, are painful in life.

Sad thing was, 2 weeks later after Lourdes, I discovered a "friend" died at age 20 because of Cancer. She was an angel, but I didn't blame God or anything. I just knew the life is too painful.
The nights I cried you can't even imagine.


This is my story, and here and now, you decide if to belive such story.
This story will be true to me and God.
 
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