struggling

[Rachel15]

I'm saved and i know God is good, but i feel SO frustrated and i don't know what to do. I'm waiting for permanent accommodation. I haven't worked for ages because of mental illness. I now volunteer but its just one day a week. I struggle with compulsive eating and feelings of hatred - yes, i know this is wrong but knowing that just makes me want to eat again. I am a lot better mentally than i was and i believe that God has healed me of the psychosis part of my illness, although i get terrible withdrawal symptoms when i try and come off my medication.
I've searched for answers and knowledge - i've prayed - i feel inadequate, life is slipping by.

I've lost confidence in where i am going to church. A lady told me it was her ministry to help people with mental health problems, but when i had a relapse a few months ago she said i couldn't stay in her home (where she had a room to minister to people) because she said God had provided me with this temporary accommodation. I felt very let down. I went to stay with my husband, who i am separated from, and is a non-Christian and who has a girlfriend, because he said i shouldn't be on my own and i think this was right. I was able to rest and focus on reading the word and listening to bible teachings.

Please God will you send someone who is willing to pray this through together, someone to be accountable to and who will be open to whatever the root of this issue is. I want to change but i keep slipping back on my own.

Meanwhile my weight has got to such an issue that i don't think i can do many jobs physically now. I am due to join the gym but again i have to wait for a month or so for the membership to be sorted out.

I watched Jackie Pullinger on tv and she spoke about addictive or compulsive behaviour, which i guess could include eating. She said that at its source its covering shame, which could be either from pain of being guilty about something, or pain of being wronged.

When i first got mentally ill i had a kind of weird 'flashback' to being injured in an abusive situation as a young child. But surrounding this were all kinds of delusions - i believed people were following me today. So its difficult to know for sure whether this was part of the mental illness or whether something real had happened (although sometimes i get pain where i think i was hurt). Only the Lord knows.

This is me. The reality is that i am not coping very well with life. Actually, perhaps please could i ask for prayer.

 

[rjones]

Lord God I come to you now in faithful prayer proclaiming you are the God that heals. Lord I pray for this lady and her situation. I ask that Your Holy Spirit cover her and that the blood of Jesus bring peace to her. Your Word declares that the chastisement of our peace was apon Him. I pray that the root cause of this problem be made know so that her healing can manifest. I pray and ask that You send someone into her life that can walk with her through this valley encouraging and supporting her as a true follower of Jesus Christ does giving in the spirit of Jesus. I pray that she sow a seed of faith into this mountain that's before her so that it shall be removed and she is healed. In Jesus name, AMEN

 

[Chad]

Sister I'm sorry to hear of your pain. There are many people that struggle with serious deep issues, many traced back to abusive childhood or lack of parenthood in general. Its very sad and difficult to deal with. If I may suggest reading Christian books by Stormie Omartian. Some info here about here story: My Story

I will keep you in prayer and I encourage you not to give up. If you give up, what have you to gain? If you lose faith in GOD, what will it benefit you without Him? Remember what Jesus did on the Cross for *you*. No matter what your circumstances in life are, no matter how difficult, Salvation in Jesus Christ is eternally yours, guaranteed!

I think the gym will help you emotionally and mentally once your physical health is restored, of course with the help of GOD.

Read this Scripture. Read it, meditate on it and read it again.

Matthew 9:18-26

18 While He spoke these things to them, behold, a ruler came and worshiped Him, saying, “My daughter has just died, but come and lay Your hand on her and she will live.” 19 So Jesus arose and followed him, and so did His disciples.

20 And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. 21 For she said to herself, “If only I may touch His garment, I shall be made well.” 22 But Jesus turned around, and when He saw her He said, “Be of good cheer, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And the woman was made well from that hour.

23 When Jesus came into the ruler’s house, and saw the flute players and the noisy crowd wailing, 24 He said to them, “Make room, for the girl is not dead, but sleeping.” And they ridiculed Him. 25 But when the crowd was put outside, He went in and took her by the hand, and the girl arose. 26 And the report of this went out into all that land.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Having been on medication for depression for several years, I'd like to offer some thoughts. Your post doesn't mention a counselor. I hope from the bottom of my heart that you are getting counseling and following that counselor's suggestions. Dealing with mental illness is like walking through a minefield and, as the saying goes, "When you're walking through a minefield, you need to follow somebody." A good professional counselor will lead you as you walk through the problems you face.


I'll be praying for you.

SLE

 

[Word of Life]

I'm saved and i know God is good, but i feel SO frustrated and i don't know what to do. I'm waiting for permanent accommodation. I haven't worked for ages because of mental illness. I now volunteer but its just one day a week. I struggle with compulsive eating and feelings of hatred - yes, i know this is wrong but knowing that just makes me want to eat again. I am a lot better mentally than i was and i believe that God has healed me of the psychosis part of my illness, although i get terrible withdrawal symptoms when i try and come off my medication.
I've searched for answers and knowledge - i've prayed - i feel inadequate, life is slipping by.

Hello Rachel15, I too was on medication for panic attacks. I took medication for 8 years and was addicted to the tablets, which were prescribed to me. I had some terrible attacks, if I didn't take the tablets. But thanks to God and our Lord Jesus Christ, I have been healed from this. It was hard I admit, but I just kept asking God to give me strength for the next hour to cope and he did. Speak to Him, through Jesus and keep telling Him of your struggles.

Now this is how I got of the medication and assuming that you have spoken to your doctor and told him that you want to get off them. Take half the dose, which has been precribed to you, and stay on that dosage for say about 2-3 weeks and see how you go. After which, you can stay on the same dosage, but skip a day and do that for 2-3 weeks, then skip 2days without medication and so on. This is how I managed to get off them.

Here is devotional for you, which helped me recently with another problem I am experiencing.

Entry taken from Morning and Evening, by Charles Haddon Spurgeon (34-1892).

Are Ye Now Made Perfect By The Flesh

Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

We go to Christ for forgiveness, and then too often look to the law for power to fight our sins. Paul thus rebukes us, "Gal 3:1-3 O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you? This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?

Take your sins to Christ's cross, for the old man can only be crucified there: we are crucified with Him. The only weapon to fight sin with is the spear which pierced the side of Jesus. To give an illustration--you want to overcome an angry temper, how do you go to work? It is very possible you have never tried the right way of going to Jesus with it. How did I get salvation? I came to Jesus just as I was, and I trusted Him to save me. I must kill my angry temper in the same way? It is the only way in which I can ever kill it. I must go to the cross with it, and say to Jesus, "Lord, I trust Thee to deliver me from it." This is the only way to give it a death-blow. Are you covetous? Do you feel the world entangle you? You may struggle against this evil so long as you please, but if it be your besetting sin, you will never be delivered from it in any way but by the blood of Jesus. Take it to Christ. Tell Him, "Lord, I have trusted Thee, and Thy name is Jesus, for Thou dost save Thy people from their sins; Lord, this is one of my sins; save me from it!" Ordinances are nothing without Christ as a means of mortification. Your prayers, and your repentances, and your tears--the whole of them put together--are worth nothing apart from Him. "None but Jesus can do helpless sinners good;" or helpless saints either. You must be conquerors through Him who hath loved you, if conquerors at all. Our laurels must grow among His olives in Gethsemane.

 

[ladylovesJesus]

Please God will you send someone who is willing to pray this through together, someone to be accountable to and who will be open to whatever the root of this issue is. I want to change but i keep slipping back on my own.

Father You hear the cries of our hearts and You know this lady's needs and I pray that the root cause will be found so that she may receive healing and deliverance and be set free to enjoy the abundant life that You came to give us in Jesus' name amen.

 

[Rachel15]

Thank you for your replies and prayers - they are much appreciated.

I don't have a counsellor at the moment. I used to see a psychologist but i felt that the method used was starting to be in conflict with scripture. There is a Christian counsellor i know of but he is male and i already know that i'd feel uncomfortable with him. It'd be really great to see a biblical counsellor or prayer counsellor but i don't know of anyone else who does this. But i think i'll search on the internet again.

I still have connections with the government health service, but obviously their approach isn't Christian.

Thank you, i shall keep praying and focus on my relationship with God.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Thank you for your replies and prayers - they are much appreciated.

I don't have a counsellor at the moment. I used to see a psychologist but i felt that the method used was starting to be in conflict with scripture. There is a Christian counsellor i know of but he is male and i already know that i'd feel uncomfortable with him. It'd be really great to see a biblical counsellor or prayer counsellor but i don't know of anyone else who does this. But i think i'll search on the internet again.

I still have connections with the government health service, but obviously their approach isn't Christian.

Thank you, i shall keep praying and focus on my relationship with God.

Rachelle15,

You said you already know that you would be uncomfortable with that male Christian counselor. What is that based on? If it's based on a history of abuse at the hands of a man, the fear is probably valid. But, if that's not the case, you may be cutting yourself off from the very help God has sent to you.

It is normal for one to be uncomfortable at the beginning of a counselor/client relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Some years ago I (a man) was advised to see a Christian psychologist. The psychologist who was assigned to my case was a woman and, in the beginning, I was very uncomfortable spilling my secrets to her.

But, as time went on, I saw that nothing I was telling her was new to her; she'd heard and dealt with it before. She and I developed a good rapport and she helped me tremendously.

So, I suggest that unless your fear of this male counselor springs from a history of abuse by men, you step past that fear and trust God to lead you into your healing.

SLE

 

[amywhite]

So sorry

I am so sorry to hear about your condition. I have suffered from OCD and clinical depression myself.
Keep on praying and keep on volunteering, those are great things to do.
And also, excersize. Don't wait for any gym membership. If you don't want to do walks outside then look on the internet for stuff you can do at home.

This will solve two problems: The weight, and it really helps with depression.
Don't let yourself sink too low, always keep doing good things in god's name and for yourself.

God bless,

Amy

 

[Rachel15]

Rachelle15,

You said you already know that you would be uncomfortable with that male Christian counselor. What is that based on? If it's based on a history of abuse at the hands of a man, the fear is probably valid. But, if that's not the case, you may be cutting yourself off from the very help God has sent to you.

It is normal for one to be uncomfortable at the beginning of a counselor/client relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Some years ago I (a man) was advised to see a Christian psychologist. The psychologist who was assigned to my case was a woman and, in the beginning, I was very uncomfortable spilling my secrets to her.

But, as time went on, I saw that nothing I was telling her was new to her; she'd heard and dealt with it before. She and I developed a good rapport and she helped me tremendously.

So, I suggest that unless your fear of this male counselor springs from a history of abuse by men, you step past that fear and trust God to lead you into your healing.

SLE

Thanks SLE for your post. Actually part of the reason i'm unsure of this man is that honestly he doesn't look you in the eyes for very long when he talks with you. I kept thinking maybe i wasn't dressed properly the last time i saw him which made me feel very uncomfortable.

Other than that i guess i wouldn't rule out seeing a man, although i'd rather see a woman.

Today i spoke more openly with my life group leader, who's a woman, and we prayed which really helped. She said that in September we're going to do a course by Neil Anderson called Freedom in Christ and as part of that we're going to do Steps to Freedom. I know a bit about it and it hopefully clears out everything and anything that may hinder your relationship with God and brings everything prayerfully before him.

I'm glad that the woman counsellor you saw was a great help, perhaps God may lead me to see a man in the future, but i have reservations about this guy.

Thanks and God bless,

 

[Rachel15]

I am so sorry to hear about your condition. I have suffered from OCD and clinical depression myself.
Keep on praying and keep on volunteering, those are great things to do.
And also, excersize. Don't wait for any gym membership. If you don't want to do walks outside then look on the internet for stuff you can do at home.

This will solve two problems: The weight, and it really helps with depression.
Don't let yourself sink too low, always keep doing good things in god's name and for yourself.

God bless,

Amy

Hi Amy, just wanted to say thanks for your encouragement.
Rachel x