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Standard for Church leaders?

Joined
Nov 10, 2015
Messages
2,982
So question to get your thoughts.

A Christian friend has a boyfriend and is not married to him. She are fornicating
and she is in the music ministry in her church (we don't attend the same church).

She believes that the pastor wants to talk to her. She feels that he wants to ask
her to either get married or step down from the ministry position because
as a leader she should be setting an example for others.

Her reply is that if the pastor makes that request of her, she will just step down
because she is not ready to marry and doesn't feel that marriage should be
something that she should be forced into. She states that there are others
in the church who are living sinful lifestyles and why is she being singled
out.

I'm trying to give her some advice that she can receive as I've tried to warn
her about living in sin in the past.

What are your thoughts on this situation? I already know where I stand on it,
but curious to see what others have to say.
 
If she is in a leadership role in the church, she does need to set an example. If she is a spirit filled Christian she should take God's word seriously, as in having a fear of God. I am a music director at my church and in charge of music. I have to set an example in all ways of dress, conversation, Bible knowledge and yes, even my weight. You stand before the throne of God on the stage at church.

Galatians 5:19-21 -

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness. 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
 
If she is in a leadership role in the church, she does need to set an example. If she is a spirit filled Christian she should take God's word seriously, as in having a fear of God. I am a music director at my church and in charge of music. I have to set an example in all ways of dress, conversation, Bible knowledge and yes, even my weight. You stand before the throne of God on the stage at church.

Galatians 5:19-21 -

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness. 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
I agree 100%.

Trying to communicate to her in a way she can receive it.
 
So this is what I ended up telling her just now. I sent a message which said:

" If you take the pastor our of the equation related to the question he is asking you,
and just look at your relationship with God, consider what you would do if the pastor
is not bringing his concerns to you.

Imagine you leave this church and you are at another church, and they don't say anything
to you about your relationship status. Even though they might not say anything, the deeper
question is not what other people think, everyone can judge, but only God's judgment is final.
So focus on God and pray about what it means to live in the Fear and Love of the Lord.

Focus on walking in Holiness regardless of what people tell you they will do as a result of your
behavior. If your behavior is right in God's eyes than it doesn't matter what people say or do to you.
So just focus on being right before God, and with that focus, the path forward will illuminate itself. "


I said that because she already knows what to do, but self is in the way, and I pray that she can receive
as I have presented it. I grieve over Christians that are walking in sin, it sadness me.
 
There is a standard for those in leadership as outlined in 1 Tim 3. While it specifies bishops, it's a broad brush covering all aspects of Church leadership, Unfortunately, we sometimes put our needs and desires first without fully appreciating consequences. Phil 4:8 Cheers
 
Why is SHE in a leadership role?

Why?

Good question.
She is in the music ministry and leads worship at times through singing.

I assume if I were to ask her that question she would say something like
"I'm in worship because I want to serve God with my gift of singing"
 
There is a standard for those in leadership as outlined in 1 Tim 3. While it specifies bishops, it's a broad brush covering all aspects of Church leadership, Unfortunately, we sometimes put our needs and desires first without fully appreciating consequences. Phil 4:8 Cheers

I agree, trying to get her to see it.

After I sent her the message that I posted a few post above, she simply replied with an emoji thumbs up.
But knowing her I think it just means she doesn't want to talk about it for now.
 
Well a Christian is more likely to try tp please the church. which is normal. But a "True Child of The Living" does not have to ask such things neither do they wallow in such things.:pensive:
 
Why?

Good question.
She is in the music ministry and leads worship at times through singing.

I assume if I were to ask her that question she would say something like
"I'm in worship because I want to serve God with my gift of singing"
If i could sing i would but decline any thought of leadership . The leadership she and her boyfriend are showing is not Biblical
 
I watched a video today which was originally a Sunday service live stream from a church about a half hour or so away. My church as been shut down for the past few months due to Covid and clerical vacations. We watch streamed services from sister churches. Well, this particular video was about inclusivion mainly of those of LGTBQ. It featured the Music Director along with Gay Pride symbology all around the altar.

The guest speaker was a transplanted Quebecer who had divorced his wife (she was not happy about it) to marry a man. Nothing in his speech suggested Christianity other than likely having attended Roman Catholic masses in the past.

The Music Director was another story. He almost gave up on church thinking God hated him. He came to the conclusion that if God is love, then he is loved lock, stock, and barrel, too. He told his story and pointed out his husband by first name. Did I hear that right? Stop, rewind, play. Yup, I did. My general feeling of the service itself was that if the Spirit of God was present, it didn't seem to be in charge. Yeah, the common-law relationship pales in comparison to this one as I feel it mocks God in a much different way.

If one wants inclusivity in the services, go bring in the street people, those in jail, those from other religions, the sky is the limit. I get diversity. But, their definition speaks of perversity. Said the serpent, "God didn't really mean that". I'm not pointing fingers of accusation as there is no halo above my head. For the record, Jesus really did touch on homosexuality in Matthew 19. And, Jesus still loves the sinner. The sin is another story many wish to downplay. Cheers
 
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