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Should a Christian date someone who isn't?

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I'm a Catholic, and until recently I'd never had a serious boyfriend. I met my boyfriend at my university last term, and we clicked immediately. He is gentlemanly, respectful and patient, and unlike other men I've dated he never pushes me to sleep with him or teases me for my religion. However, he's not a Catholic, in fact he's a practising Muslim. My parents are delighted with him and adore him, but some people in my parish have been less accepting and suggested I should only get serious with another Catholic. I feel concerned, because if we should go further in our relationship and marry, both of our religions have certain demands. My church teaches it's wrong to marry a non-Catholic, and that my children would need to be raised Catholic, and his faith teaches that his wife should convert and that the kids much be raised Muslim. We have both talked at length and have compromised on the issue, saying our children will be exposed to both faiths and will make the choice themselves which way they want to go, but I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing. We aren't to the point of getting engaged yet, and may never be, but I wondered what people thought about a Catholic woman dating a Muslim man.
 
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Lauren7 said:
I'm a Catholic, and until recently I'd never had a serious boyfriend. I met my boyfriend at my university last term, and we clicked immediately. He is gentlemanly, respectful and patient, and unlike other men I've dated he never pushes me to sleep with him or teases me for my religion. However, he's not a Catholic, in fact he's a practising Muslim. My parents are delighted with him and adore him, but some people in my parish have been less accepting and suggested I should only get serious with another Catholic. I feel concerned, because if we should go further in our relationship and marry, both of our religions have certain demands. My church teaches it's wrong to marry a non-Catholic, and that my children would need to be raised Catholic, and his faith teaches that his wife should convert and that the kids much be raised Muslim. We have both talked at length and have compromised on the issue, saying our children will be exposed to both faiths and will make the choice themselves which way they want to go, but I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing. We aren't to the point of getting engaged yet, and may never be, but I wondered what people thought about a Catholic woman dating a Muslim man.
Dear Lauren7,

It is wonderful that you are seeing a man who respects you as a woman. Its great that your parents feel good about him. You met him last term and it sounds like you have had serious discussion about a life time commitment.

I don't agree that the Catholic church dictate who you can marry. As an adult you have freewill to choose, and can ask our Father anything you need, however, you did not mention in your thread, where is our Father in all this, first? Is your relationship with this man Christ centered? Our Father is a jealous God and you cannot serve two Gods in a marriage or in life. It is scriptural.

Please read and meditate from the new Catholic Edition of the Holy Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 "thou shalt not have strange gods before me"
And the NIV Study Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 " for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God"

Lauren7, There is much, much, to think about here. You may have already had these discussions with your gentleman friend. I strongly suggest you keep an open heart to our Father's direction here and earnestly seek your authorized priest, or minister, sister. Perhaps your gentleman friend may want to attend with you. He may want the both of you to seek his teacher from the Muslim faith. I have faith the Truth will be revealed here as we lift up you and your gentleman friend in prayer.

Our God cannot honor you by compromising Jesus Christ in your life with another god, I believe the Holy Spirit will give you discernment, Lauren7, to seek and let the Truth be revealed.

Your brother in Christ Jesus.
 
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Member
I agree with bobinfaith. I need to find out where the lord is in this relationship. You also need to talk to your friend and find out exactly where he stands.
 
Member
Lauren7 I will respond to you as best as i can. I believe from others who has posted that you know what your god says. I really dont know where your relationship with god is but the bottom line is that god is the creator of the universe and hw would not go against his word, he's a good that would never lie. So why would god intend for you to marry a man who doesnt yet have a relationship with christ. I was tested by god in this and she seemed to be the greatest person but she was not a believer. God broke it off himself when i told about being unequally yoked. Women may have more difficulty but god has someone out their for you pray and fast and his will will be revealed.:wink:
 
Member
Hey! This might not help, but I like this website. I'm new. I could never change my beliefs no matter how much I cared for someone. I couldn't marry that person. I don't know what you should do.
 
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sw6492 said:
Hey! This might not help, but I like this website. I'm new. I could never change my beliefs no matter how much I cared for someone. I couldn't marry that person. I don't know what you should do.
Dear sw6492:

Thank you for your honesty and yes, its not easy but a good start is prayer for Lauren7.

Please read and meditate from the new Catholic Edition of the Holy Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 "thou shalt not have strange gods before me"

And the NIV Study Bible Exodus 20:3 & 5 " for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God"


Your brother in Christ Jesus.
 
Member
Lauren 7, I'm new to this site and just read your post.

I know how hard it is when you meet someone that you think is great and you "click". (I've been there.) However, the enemy loves to do this -- bring someone to you that is just great, everything you wanted in a guy. However, what do you want? A relationship with God ... or a guy? Can you trust God to bring you a guy that is even better than this Muslim? He can do it if you trust Him. The grief that you will endure if you marriage outside of your faith will be enormous. God said not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Trust me, He is saying this for your own good, not to be mean.

Trust Him and let this one go. God has something better for you. Believe me.

Living for Him
 
Member
i want to advice you to froget this person because he is interested to take you out from the way of salvation.
 
Administrator
Staff Member
Can't remember the exact verse but GOD tells us in the bible to be with the same yolk in marriage. Makes sense afterall :smile:
 
Member
It is exciting when someone shows us kindness and treats us with concern and respect. I know that you have been praying for someone who would be the kind of person. Someone who would honor you for who you are and be respectful of your person.

However, I wish to rely what I counsel the youth at our congregation. I am a Youth Pastor and this subject comes up often. There are several considerations when dealing with this subject.

First, We have put the cart before the Horse when it comes to dating. In the world today we have forgotten that each date should be viewed as a potential spouse. We have also forgotten that we should only date individuals who are our friends. Well, you may be thinking how do we become friends without dating? You probably have many friends that you have not dated. You make new ones the same way. By going out on groups outings, with Church Singles, Sunday School Classes, College Clubs, or groups of existing friends. These outings should be "dutch", each person paying their own way, useless the whole group is payed for by the Church, class or club. This takes all the pressure of dating away and allows you to see people as friends with no expectations. All this allows us to become friends first. It also allows us to decide if someone is date worthy, and thereby marriage worthy.

Secondly, there is a real spiritual aspect here. We are built for eternity. Each person who is alive today will live forever. The choice we have is where we will spend it. There are two options, Heaven or Hell. As a believer we have, Heaven. Those who do not follow Christ have Hell. This choice has nothing to do with how "gentlemanly" we are. In fact the Bible tells us it does not, in Ephesians 2:8-9 it tells us; "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." We cannot be good enough to get into Heaven, it is God's grace that saves us through faith in Jesus. The Bible is clear, it is not being a "good" guy that counts. The Bible warns us that we cannot judge "good" things. In fact our enemy, the Devil can appear to be good by worldly standard. 2Cor 11:14 says; "And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light." Even Satan can appear as an Angel of light. Be careful not to use standards that the world uses to determine "good" in a person. The Bible tells us in Romans 3:10; "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:" Apart from Christ we are not good.

This is important for you to understand, since we are eternal beings we need to stop thinking temperally. We must think eternally. If a Christian marries a Non-Christian then they will spend eternity in different places. It is nice to have someone to spend the rest of this life with, but do you desire that person to spend eternity in Hell? I am not encouraging "salvation dating", that is to say, dating someone in hopes of converting them. We cannot convert anyone, only God converts. In Exodus 33:19 God says, "I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy. " This is repeated in Romans 9:15; "For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." I am not telling you that we are to have no interaction with non-Christians. In fact the Bible tells us we are to interact with the world. However, this interaction is for one purpose. Matthew 28:19-20; "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." We interact to share Jesus, and this interaction should be limited to that purpose. We are also warned about our relationships, according to 2Cor 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" We are not to have deep relationships with non-beleivers. This includes business partnerships, best-friend type relationships, dating, marriage, organization or club memberships.

I ask that you read the above verses for yourself as well as the verse before and after each reference for context. As you read ask God to reveal the truth to you about this matter. He will. I will pray for you as well.

In Christ Service,
Terry
 
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mymakersdaughter said:
person above; a warning...do not mock God, it will be costly.
Dear mymakersdaughter,

Thank you for the headsup, sister, the previous post was removed.

Your servant in Christ Jesus.
 
Member
Dear Lauren!
It is amazing how god puts people on your path and he is stending there and looking wht are you going to do. I'm so happy that you have met such a great guy but you see what if when you get married to him, that he will not let you go to church if, he is going to presure you to stop being a Catholic and become a muslim? I'm not trying to disencourage you or tell you what to do, but have you ever asked yourself that?
I think that you should really go to the Lord and just tell him everything that is troubling you and I'm positive that he will be there for you and he will let you know what to do. Read the bible, he will reveal himself to ypu trough his scriptures.
Please pray about it, God bless you, your sister in Christ, Jesuschick!:smile:
 
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satan is the great deciever ,as you can plainly see ?This man is already decieved .You must be be fooled by the nice things as his heart is already in trouble .If you put the LORD 1st ?You will tell him ,you can not be with him ,because you must love our LORD 1st .satan is called the great deciever for a reason ?he can come as an angel of light .I would say ?RUN away from that guy .or cause him to go to church ,watch don"t force ,but see will he accept the LORD JESUS CHRIST as LORD and savior .Because we MUST be BORN of GOD .a new creature in the LORD .just as JESUS CHRIST is ?We must be .You see when a woman marrys a man ?She must yeild too him .HE must lead ,guide and protect her .The burdern falls on him . If you pick the wrong man?Not of the kingdom of heaven .You have choosen one of satans kids to be bonded with because you become one .:love:
 
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About the question "Should a Christian date someone who isn't?" God's word says not to be unequally yoke. When I turned my life over to Christ I was still going out with my ex. I kept hearing... "Don not be unequally yoked..." I was like .... what does egss have to do with Jesus... *I was very new as a Christian when I first heard this statement* Over and over I heard it and over and over I would think of eggs. One day I prayed and asked God to help me understand about the eggs... Well needless to say Pastor John was preaching on being "yoked" again... and then my question was answered... To make a long story short, I became a new creature in Chirst, my ex did not and well we are no longer together. We didn't see eye to eye anymore.. Things that we used to do together, we no longer did. Things I thought was good at the time were actually wrong in God's eyes.
Did I just go waaaaaaay over the question? Lol
 
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Brother Bob:
i remember once you said catholic wont go to heaven, and i agree with you. so no matter whom the catholic girl will marry, the new couple definiately will go to hell , unless both of them follow Jesus. Am i right?
 
Member
haven't got your reply.
what i meant was
do you remember the beggar before the temple asking money for Peter
and Peter said he didn't have money ,but he would give him what the beggar really need.
so i think instead of giving her the answer for the question, you should give her the answer for the life.
do you agree?
 
Member
Anything or anyone that can cause you to stumble, you need to stay away from. We are not to be yoked with unbelievers. It clearly states this in 2 Cornithians 6:14-18.

Things may be well now in the relationship. But at some point in time he may ask that you show your commitment to him by denouncing your faith and converting to his. I've seen this happen before.
It's not a good situation to find yourself in. IMHO


Everyone here can tell you what they feel you should do. But ultimately it is your decission. I would suggest that you earnestly seek Gods guidance on this. Pray that the Lord will show you what you need to do. Make sure you are acting on His Will and not your emotions.

A lot of women will tell themselves that this may be their last chance at happiness etc. This is simply not true. Love comes when you are least expecting it for one. And two, it'll be right in every shape and form when it does and you will know without a shadow of a doubt that God is behind it. That's how it was for me and my husband. We'll be married 15 years on March 10th. :shade:

On a side note, the fact that you have brought this here for feedback should show you that the Lord is speaking to your heart about this.
 
Member
I agree with the warning about not getting involved with Muslim man. I live in Turkey and I see the problems here. Remember you don't need a man to make you happy. The happiest lady I ever knew was a servant of the Lord in New York City, she died in her eighties and spent her life reaching out the the poor, troubled and lost. She encouraged the young people at church to live sold out lives for Jesus like she had. She could make great pasta dishes too. She was never married! She had many, many friends, she saved hundreds through her testimony. May we all have what she had.
BLessings,
Hisgirl
 

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