I wrote this one for two reasons. 1) Ted wanted a play using all of our actors, and 2) as an illustration in my bible interpretation book.
SEEDS AND TREES AND SADDUCEES
One day Jesus is having what he thinks is a private teaching session with his apostles. “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed which a man took and sowed in his field, which indeed is the least of all the seeds; but when it is grown it is greater than the herbs and becomes a tree so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches.”
John nods. “Heavy.”
Matthew agrees. “Groovy.”
But Peter looks confused. “I don't quite get it. Can you give one more example?”
“Why certainly, Peter. The Kingdom of Heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal till it was all leavened.”
Peter is satisfied. “Oh, I get it now.”
“Good.”
A Sadducee who had been eves dropping on the edges steps out waving his arms. “Hold it, hold it, hold it!”
Jesus looks at him. “Excuse me?”
“You can't do that.”
“Do what? Mr. Sadducee, I'm just telling some of my followers a few parables.”
“Exactly.”
“What's wrong with that?”
“The parables. That's what's wrong.”
“How so? The Kingdom of God is like a tiny thing that grows and enlarges, and spreads about. You may not see how or why it does so, since that is the work of the Holy Spirit behind the scenes who makes it possible.”
The Sadducee waves that aside. “Oh, that's good enough in its way, I don't care about that. What I'm talking about is the incorrect details.”
“What incorrect details?”
“You said the mustard seeds are the least of seeds.”
“What's wrong with that?”
“Plenty. There are much smaller seeds available in the world. So when you say they are the least of seeds it proves that you aren't omniscient, and therefore aren't the Son of God. And there are bigger trees than mustards. Try telling the story using the smallest seeds and the largest trees. It will work much better.”
“Very well. I will try. The Kingdom of Heaven is like a Piscus Fibularia…”
Peter blurts out. “A what?”
“It's a small flowering plant that grows in the jungle in Brazil.”
Andrew raises his hand. “Where's Brazil?”
“It's a country in South America, Andrew.”
James inquires. “Where's South America?”
“It's across the Atlantic Ocean, James.”
Bartholomew wants to know. “What's an ocean?”
“It's like a sea, only bigger.”
Jude is surprised. “Bigger than the Mediterranean?”
“Yes, Jude. It's much bigger.”
Nathanael asks. “Well, where's this ocean at?”
“It is beyond the Pillars of Hercules.”
Phillip demands. “Where are they?”
“Just a few miles past Tarshish.”
Matthew knows about that. “Isn't that where Jonah was headed when the storm came and he was swallowed by the big fish?”
“Why, yes, Matthew, it is.”
“Yeah, I was just reading it the other day…”
Simon Zealotes is disgusted. “Show off! You only learned how to read to become a blood sucking leech of a tax collector exploiting the oppressed proletariat masses with the rest of the lackeys and dupes of the imperialist Roman slave drivers!”
Matthew snarls at him. “Better a loyal citizen of the empire than a commie-pinko rebel terrorist!”
Judas Iscariot sees his chance. “Place your bets here! 3-1 the rebel plasters the leech in 2 rounds or less!”
Jesus tries to regain control. “Now cut that out, Judas! Matthew Levi, Simon Zealotes, let's not start that again. I was telling you a story…”
Peter nods. “About a plant we never heard of.”
Andrew agrees. “From a country we never heard of.”
Thomas points out. “Across an ocean we've never seen.” (Behind his hand he comments to the others.) “Ha! I'll believe in oceans when I can wade in one with my own two feet!”
Jesus heard that. “Thomas, may I continue?”
Thomas is embarrassed. “Oh. Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.”
“To continue. The Piscus Fibularia has the smallest seeds, (Thoughtful pause) well, unless you count Fungi spores.”
James tugs Jesus’ sleeve. “What are fungi spores? You have to tell us so we can decide whether or not we should count them.’
“They are the really tiny seed like things mushrooms make. And the Sequoia Redwood of California is the largest of trees…”
Phillip objects. “I thought you were talking about seeds?”
“Yes I was, Phillip. Or at least I was trying to.”
Nathanael has another question. “And where is California?”
“It's a state in North America, Nathanael.”
Bartholomew interrupts. “What's a state?”
Matthew is excited. “I know that one, Bartholomew! A state is a section of a country, like a Polis or Tetrarchy”
Simon Zealotes mutters loud enough for all to overhear. “Quisling of a lap dog collaborating with the imperialist running dogs of Italy exploiting the poverty stricken proletariats of the world for capitalistic gain!”
Matthew snarls back at him. “Socialist utopian meathead! Why don't you just tattoo the word "Terrorist" across your forehead? You may as well, the way you keep introducing your self as Simon the Zealot!”
John tries calming them. “Guys, guys! Can't we all show that we are followers of Christ by the love we show toward one another?”
Jude snorts. “You should talk! I've seen you taking notes for that Gospel of yours you're planning on writing. Hey, did you guys know he plans on calling himself the one Jesus loves, while we're just the ones he likes?”
All 11 other Apostles. “GRR!”
Jesus crosses his arms and frowns. “Gentlemen please. Can we get back to the story?”
Peter agrees. “OK. Where's North America?”
Judas Iscariot laughs and pokes Peter’s arm “Stupid! It's north of South America.”
John tries again. “Oh, ignore these jerks, boss. Why is the kingdom of God like a seed or a tree?”
Andrew sings. “Teacher's pet. Teacher’s Pet.”
An idea has occurred to Peter. “Hey, does that mean God lives in a tree house?”
Jesus slaps His forehead and looks to the sky. “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do, think, speak…” He shakes His head, shrugs and sighs. He crooks his finger at the Sadducee. “Now, you sir, come here.”
“Yes?”
“Now do you understand why I use the examples I use? Mustard seed and yeast are things everybody in the area knows about and understands.”
James comments. “Yeah. I understood mustard plants a lot better than all that stuff about oceans and tetrarchies and stuff.”
The Sadducee reluctantly agrees. “All right I can see that. But you said that mustard seeds are the least of seeds. How can that be right?”
“Only in English. This play quotes a popular English translation of my Words. If you check the original Greek, you'll find the word I used was Mikroteros. All Mikroteros means is small in size. And you must admit that mustard seeds are small in size.”
“True. But what about the leaven?”
“What indeed?”
Peter defends Jesus. “Yeah. You can't complain about that one. I mean, Even I understood that one.”
Judas Iscariot sighs. “Then that must be the wrong explanation.”
The Sadducee explains his objection. “In most places in Scripture leaven symbolizes sin, corruption and rot. That's why all yeast must be removed from the home for Passover, as a symbol of our desire to free our lives of sin.”
Peter shakes his head. “OK. Now I'm confused.”
Andrew sighs. “You usually are.”
Bartholomew thinks he gets it. “Does that mean the Kingdom of Heaven is just a lot of rot?”
Nathanael expands on this. “Or that we'll have a rotten time there?”
John has an insight. “No, I think it's a prophecy!”
Andrew raise his eyebrow. “A prophecy of what?”
John explains. “That the Kingdom Of Heaven (symbolized by the flour) starts out pure and nice, but then Lucifer (symbolized by the woman) sneaks in and hides her wicked doctrines inside it, which slowly corrupt and pollutes the entire church!”
Thomas doubts that. “You mean Lucifer is a girl?”
Phillip happily makes a pun. “Sure! What else would they call him Lucy For?”
Jude waves that off. “No, that can't be right. He said this is a parable, and parables ain't prophecies, are they?”
James gets an Idea. “Oh I get it. It means that you have to be corrupt to go there.”
Simon Zealotes is happy. “In that case, Matthew's sure to go there with no trouble at all.”
Matthew gets mad. “Tax dodger!” (Goes into boxing stance.)
Simon Zealotes jumps up. “Somebody hold me back!” (Also goes into sparring postures. Others crowd around.)
Judas Iscariot happily announces. “The betting office just reopened!”
Jesus is not happy. “Now look what you've done, Mr. Sadducee. “Guys! FELLOWS!” (All calm down.) “Thank you. The meaning of a symbol is determined by the context. I said that the Kingdom of Heaven is like some thing. It is a comparison. Just like the yeast slowly grows through out the dough, The Holy Spirit will cause the church to grow through the whole world. Just like the mustard seed, which you can see the outward growth of, but can't see the inner workings or what cause it to grow.”
All Apostles. “Oh!”
The Sadducee objects. “But why three measures of flour? You haven't explained why three.”
Jesus is taken off guard for a moment. “Breakfast, lunch and dinner? That's what my mother made every day for our family.”
All Apostles. “Ah!”
The Sadducee is confused. “But what's the spiritual significance of that?”
All the apostles want to know. “Hmm?”
Jesus shrugs. “Nothing at all.”
The Apostles are surprised. “Oh?”
Jesus explains. “Because not every detail of a parable has to mean anything. It's the main point of the parable that is the important part. Every thing in the parable is there just to get you to that point. A parable is just an illustration of an idea in easily grasped language. It doesn't help if you then have to explain the explanation, does it?”
The Sadducee admits it. “Well, no.”
“Yet people cudgel their brains to find the spiritual significance of each and every detail. For example, You guys remember when I fed over 5,000 people with 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes don't you?”
All Apostles. “Yeah.”
“Yet people keep coming up to me and explaining that they have cracked the secret code behind 5,000 people, 5 loaves, and why they are barley loaves and not wheat bread, 2 fish and which species they were, and why 12 baskets of leftovers. But the reasons for that are extremely simple and not hidden at all. Andrew. Why did I have 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes to do the miracle with?”
“Because the boy I found had five barley loaves and two fishes his mother packed for his lunch.”
“Exactly.”
Peter asks. “But why 12 baskets of leftovers?”
Matthew answers. “Because the 12 of us passed out the bread and fish and thus had the leftovers in our baskets.”
“Oh. Right.”
Jesus turns to the Sadducee. “Now do you understand?”
“Yes I believe I do.”
SEEDS AND TREES AND SADDUCEES
One day Jesus is having what he thinks is a private teaching session with his apostles. “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed which a man took and sowed in his field, which indeed is the least of all the seeds; but when it is grown it is greater than the herbs and becomes a tree so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches.”
John nods. “Heavy.”
Matthew agrees. “Groovy.”
But Peter looks confused. “I don't quite get it. Can you give one more example?”
“Why certainly, Peter. The Kingdom of Heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal till it was all leavened.”
Peter is satisfied. “Oh, I get it now.”
“Good.”
A Sadducee who had been eves dropping on the edges steps out waving his arms. “Hold it, hold it, hold it!”
Jesus looks at him. “Excuse me?”
“You can't do that.”
“Do what? Mr. Sadducee, I'm just telling some of my followers a few parables.”
“Exactly.”
“What's wrong with that?”
“The parables. That's what's wrong.”
“How so? The Kingdom of God is like a tiny thing that grows and enlarges, and spreads about. You may not see how or why it does so, since that is the work of the Holy Spirit behind the scenes who makes it possible.”
The Sadducee waves that aside. “Oh, that's good enough in its way, I don't care about that. What I'm talking about is the incorrect details.”
“What incorrect details?”
“You said the mustard seeds are the least of seeds.”
“What's wrong with that?”
“Plenty. There are much smaller seeds available in the world. So when you say they are the least of seeds it proves that you aren't omniscient, and therefore aren't the Son of God. And there are bigger trees than mustards. Try telling the story using the smallest seeds and the largest trees. It will work much better.”
“Very well. I will try. The Kingdom of Heaven is like a Piscus Fibularia…”
Peter blurts out. “A what?”
“It's a small flowering plant that grows in the jungle in Brazil.”
Andrew raises his hand. “Where's Brazil?”
“It's a country in South America, Andrew.”
James inquires. “Where's South America?”
“It's across the Atlantic Ocean, James.”
Bartholomew wants to know. “What's an ocean?”
“It's like a sea, only bigger.”
Jude is surprised. “Bigger than the Mediterranean?”
“Yes, Jude. It's much bigger.”
Nathanael asks. “Well, where's this ocean at?”
“It is beyond the Pillars of Hercules.”
Phillip demands. “Where are they?”
“Just a few miles past Tarshish.”
Matthew knows about that. “Isn't that where Jonah was headed when the storm came and he was swallowed by the big fish?”
“Why, yes, Matthew, it is.”
“Yeah, I was just reading it the other day…”
Simon Zealotes is disgusted. “Show off! You only learned how to read to become a blood sucking leech of a tax collector exploiting the oppressed proletariat masses with the rest of the lackeys and dupes of the imperialist Roman slave drivers!”
Matthew snarls at him. “Better a loyal citizen of the empire than a commie-pinko rebel terrorist!”
Judas Iscariot sees his chance. “Place your bets here! 3-1 the rebel plasters the leech in 2 rounds or less!”
Jesus tries to regain control. “Now cut that out, Judas! Matthew Levi, Simon Zealotes, let's not start that again. I was telling you a story…”
Peter nods. “About a plant we never heard of.”
Andrew agrees. “From a country we never heard of.”
Thomas points out. “Across an ocean we've never seen.” (Behind his hand he comments to the others.) “Ha! I'll believe in oceans when I can wade in one with my own two feet!”
Jesus heard that. “Thomas, may I continue?”
Thomas is embarrassed. “Oh. Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.”
“To continue. The Piscus Fibularia has the smallest seeds, (Thoughtful pause) well, unless you count Fungi spores.”
James tugs Jesus’ sleeve. “What are fungi spores? You have to tell us so we can decide whether or not we should count them.’
“They are the really tiny seed like things mushrooms make. And the Sequoia Redwood of California is the largest of trees…”
Phillip objects. “I thought you were talking about seeds?”
“Yes I was, Phillip. Or at least I was trying to.”
Nathanael has another question. “And where is California?”
“It's a state in North America, Nathanael.”
Bartholomew interrupts. “What's a state?”
Matthew is excited. “I know that one, Bartholomew! A state is a section of a country, like a Polis or Tetrarchy”
Simon Zealotes mutters loud enough for all to overhear. “Quisling of a lap dog collaborating with the imperialist running dogs of Italy exploiting the poverty stricken proletariats of the world for capitalistic gain!”
Matthew snarls back at him. “Socialist utopian meathead! Why don't you just tattoo the word "Terrorist" across your forehead? You may as well, the way you keep introducing your self as Simon the Zealot!”
John tries calming them. “Guys, guys! Can't we all show that we are followers of Christ by the love we show toward one another?”
Jude snorts. “You should talk! I've seen you taking notes for that Gospel of yours you're planning on writing. Hey, did you guys know he plans on calling himself the one Jesus loves, while we're just the ones he likes?”
All 11 other Apostles. “GRR!”
Jesus crosses his arms and frowns. “Gentlemen please. Can we get back to the story?”
Peter agrees. “OK. Where's North America?”
Judas Iscariot laughs and pokes Peter’s arm “Stupid! It's north of South America.”
John tries again. “Oh, ignore these jerks, boss. Why is the kingdom of God like a seed or a tree?”
Andrew sings. “Teacher's pet. Teacher’s Pet.”
An idea has occurred to Peter. “Hey, does that mean God lives in a tree house?”
Jesus slaps His forehead and looks to the sky. “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do, think, speak…” He shakes His head, shrugs and sighs. He crooks his finger at the Sadducee. “Now, you sir, come here.”
“Yes?”
“Now do you understand why I use the examples I use? Mustard seed and yeast are things everybody in the area knows about and understands.”
James comments. “Yeah. I understood mustard plants a lot better than all that stuff about oceans and tetrarchies and stuff.”
The Sadducee reluctantly agrees. “All right I can see that. But you said that mustard seeds are the least of seeds. How can that be right?”
“Only in English. This play quotes a popular English translation of my Words. If you check the original Greek, you'll find the word I used was Mikroteros. All Mikroteros means is small in size. And you must admit that mustard seeds are small in size.”
“True. But what about the leaven?”
“What indeed?”
Peter defends Jesus. “Yeah. You can't complain about that one. I mean, Even I understood that one.”
Judas Iscariot sighs. “Then that must be the wrong explanation.”
The Sadducee explains his objection. “In most places in Scripture leaven symbolizes sin, corruption and rot. That's why all yeast must be removed from the home for Passover, as a symbol of our desire to free our lives of sin.”
Peter shakes his head. “OK. Now I'm confused.”
Andrew sighs. “You usually are.”
Bartholomew thinks he gets it. “Does that mean the Kingdom of Heaven is just a lot of rot?”
Nathanael expands on this. “Or that we'll have a rotten time there?”
John has an insight. “No, I think it's a prophecy!”
Andrew raise his eyebrow. “A prophecy of what?”
John explains. “That the Kingdom Of Heaven (symbolized by the flour) starts out pure and nice, but then Lucifer (symbolized by the woman) sneaks in and hides her wicked doctrines inside it, which slowly corrupt and pollutes the entire church!”
Thomas doubts that. “You mean Lucifer is a girl?”
Phillip happily makes a pun. “Sure! What else would they call him Lucy For?”
Jude waves that off. “No, that can't be right. He said this is a parable, and parables ain't prophecies, are they?”
James gets an Idea. “Oh I get it. It means that you have to be corrupt to go there.”
Simon Zealotes is happy. “In that case, Matthew's sure to go there with no trouble at all.”
Matthew gets mad. “Tax dodger!” (Goes into boxing stance.)
Simon Zealotes jumps up. “Somebody hold me back!” (Also goes into sparring postures. Others crowd around.)
Judas Iscariot happily announces. “The betting office just reopened!”
Jesus is not happy. “Now look what you've done, Mr. Sadducee. “Guys! FELLOWS!” (All calm down.) “Thank you. The meaning of a symbol is determined by the context. I said that the Kingdom of Heaven is like some thing. It is a comparison. Just like the yeast slowly grows through out the dough, The Holy Spirit will cause the church to grow through the whole world. Just like the mustard seed, which you can see the outward growth of, but can't see the inner workings or what cause it to grow.”
All Apostles. “Oh!”
The Sadducee objects. “But why three measures of flour? You haven't explained why three.”
Jesus is taken off guard for a moment. “Breakfast, lunch and dinner? That's what my mother made every day for our family.”
All Apostles. “Ah!”
The Sadducee is confused. “But what's the spiritual significance of that?”
All the apostles want to know. “Hmm?”
Jesus shrugs. “Nothing at all.”
The Apostles are surprised. “Oh?”
Jesus explains. “Because not every detail of a parable has to mean anything. It's the main point of the parable that is the important part. Every thing in the parable is there just to get you to that point. A parable is just an illustration of an idea in easily grasped language. It doesn't help if you then have to explain the explanation, does it?”
The Sadducee admits it. “Well, no.”
“Yet people cudgel their brains to find the spiritual significance of each and every detail. For example, You guys remember when I fed over 5,000 people with 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes don't you?”
All Apostles. “Yeah.”
“Yet people keep coming up to me and explaining that they have cracked the secret code behind 5,000 people, 5 loaves, and why they are barley loaves and not wheat bread, 2 fish and which species they were, and why 12 baskets of leftovers. But the reasons for that are extremely simple and not hidden at all. Andrew. Why did I have 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes to do the miracle with?”
“Because the boy I found had five barley loaves and two fishes his mother packed for his lunch.”
“Exactly.”
Peter asks. “But why 12 baskets of leftovers?”
Matthew answers. “Because the 12 of us passed out the bread and fish and thus had the leftovers in our baskets.”
“Oh. Right.”
Jesus turns to the Sadducee. “Now do you understand?”
“Yes I believe I do.”
