Praise God Spekgirl,
The Bible tells us that our sins separate us from God. I am not judging you. I dont know who you are and what you have done. The best person who can help you is yourself. The Lord does knows you and He is very well ready to help you get out of the mess that you are in. The only thing that you can do is to turn to Him. That is what the word of God says.
Nehemiah 1:9
But if ye turn unto me, and keep my commandments, and do them; though there were of you cast out unto the uttermost part of the heaven, yet will I gather them from thence, and will bring them unto the place that I have chosen to set my name there.
This is the promise for you. Take this word and eat it that you may be strong. Remember He will never cast you out. He is against the proud.
Read these verses of Isaiah and then you will understand what you are to Him.
Isaiah 43
1 But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.
2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
3 For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee.
4 Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life.
5 Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west;
He will never let go of your hand. Be still and know that He is your GOD, the Almighty One. Do not turn away from Him. Kneel down and keep praying and do not leave until He has blessed you or answered you.
May the Lord bless you and keep you dear friend. In Jesus' name Amen. I will pray for you.