once was enough!

[safeinchrist]

Hi everyone!

Its great to have found this website again, it was some time ago but now im back
But there is something that is bothering me.

When i was 10 years old i was sexually abused by a man in the neighborhood. That man had been bothering me and my friend before so i told my parents and they called the police, they did not believe us and just said that we had wild fantasy. Im pretty sure í was on drugs (that he must have given me) during the abuse because i only remember some things of it. I think i was too young to understand the impact that would have on me later. I never told my parents about it, i still dont have the strengt to do so.

2005, when i was 12, i moved to The Netherlands for my fathers job. The first three months were aweful but soon it all felt better and i started to get settled. After about half a year we found an international church there which we went to alot. There i found my best friend ever.
One year passed fast and people came and went. We got a new science teacher that i had a bad feeling about from the start. Even though i had max score on all tests she made me go to extra classes. I was the only one in these "extra lessons". I dont remember the first classes but i was for the second time sexually abused, but this time i was more like a sex slave to the science teacher and the humanities teacher, every "extra class". I was beaten and so if i didnt do as they said. When my parents were wondering what had happended when i was all bruced and so i alwys blamed the football training.
My friend from church understood that someting was wrong and started to act. I talked for hours with her and her mother who is one of the ones in the prayer group at church. I am thankful for the prayers and thoughts from her and her mother. My parents dont know nor does the school. The woords from the man thay abused me when I was 10 still bothered me. " You tell your parents againg and you wont have them anymore".
It was a releif to move back to sweden eventhough i still live in the same neighbourhood as when i was 10 and in the same house. Sometimes i see the man that abused me and i think im going to an emotional breakdown or someting. Its really hard for me to hear about friends getting boyfriends and seing them makeout in school and such its all a pain for me. Its really hard to write about it too. But it feels better to have it said.
I wish i was like the other girls being out for boys and not being afraid. Im 16 now and my mother asks if i like someone in my class and if i have a boy friend yet. Its a pain to go through everyday and i relly need your prayers because i know they help. I dont go to church anymore as i cant keep the tears in.

thank you for reading and thankyou for praying!!

Safeinchrist-- Emma

 

[sunshine2]

Dear Emma, I am so sorry for what you have endured. Keep turning to adults that you can trust, the Lord uses these people to care for you. I am praying for the Lord to put a hedge of protection around you, praying for the Lord to comfort you and give you peace. it's natural to pull away from boys when you have been sexually abused, just keep praying and the Lord will send a Godly man into your life when you are older and the time is right. I will keep you in my prayers. I am praying for your parents also.

 

[rlowe]

-
I pray that Doctor Jesus will heal ALL your emotional & physical wounds.
I pray that He will protect you & be the friend you need.
I pray He will give you His peace & comfort now & for years to come.
I pray one day God will show you the helpmate He has for you
& it be a happier, better sittuation than you could ever of dreamed of.

God bless, comfort, & protect you & enfold you in His love.

 

[stephen]

Dear Emma....Your story saddens me, as an older man it gives me a wake up call re. the sinful situation prevalant in life today.

Keep close to people who know how to, and do praise and worship Jesus.

Getting into a lively Christian environment, and the joy that produces....will continue to help you, I am sure you will have a happy future as you follow Jesus.

Praying for you.......

 

[Dreamer]

Hi everyone!

Its great to have found this website again, it was some time ago but now im back
But there is something that is bothering me.

When i was 10 years old i was sexually abused by a man in the neighborhood. That man had been bothering me and my friend before so i told my parents and they called the police, they did not believe us and just said that we had wild fantasy. Im pretty sure í was on drugs (that he must have given me) during the abuse because i only remember some things of it. I think i was too young to understand the impact that would have on me later. I never told my parents about it, i still dont have the strengt to do so.

2005, when i was 12, i moved to The Netherlands for my fathers job. The first three months were aweful but soon it all felt better and i started to get settled. After about half a year we found an international church there which we went to alot. There i found my best friend ever.
One year passed fast and people came and went. We got a new science teacher that i had a bad feeling about from the start. Even though i had max score on all tests she made me go to extra classes. I was the only one in these "extra lessons". I dont remember the first classes but i was for the second time sexually abused, but this time i was more like a sex slave to the science teacher and the humanities teacher, every "extra class". I was beaten and so if i didnt do as they said. When my parents were wondering what had happended when i was all bruced and so i alwys blamed the football training.
My friend from church understood that someting was wrong and started to act. I talked for hours with her and her mother who is one of the ones in the prayer group at church. I am thankful for the prayers and thoughts from her and her mother. My parents dont know nor does the school. The woords from the man thay abused me when I was 10 still bothered me. " You tell your parents againg and you wont have them anymore".
It was a releif to move back to sweden eventhough i still live in the same neighbourhood as when i was 10 and in the same house. Sometimes i see the man that abused me and i think im going to an emotional breakdown or someting. Its really hard for me to hear about friends getting boyfriends and seing them makeout in school and such its all a pain for me. Its really hard to write about it too. But it feels better to have it said.
I wish i was like the other girls being out for boys and not being afraid. Im 16 now and my mother asks if i like someone in my class and if i have a boy friend yet. Its a pain to go through everyday and i relly need your prayers because i know they help. I dont go to church anymore as i cant keep the tears in.

thank you for reading and thankyou for praying!!

Safeinchrist-- Emma

As I read your heartfelt and well-written post, Emma, I grieved with you, young sister. I believe that my daughter could well identify with you. She also was molested...by her father when very young, then by my boyfriend, then by a husband whom I was married to for 3 months. You see, it does seem like it was my fault, doesn't it? Shouldn't I have known? Shouldn't I have seen it?

With the first, her being young, she insisted her father had not done it, but I always believed in my heart from certain evidences that he had indeed abused her. I soon left him and thought I was doing fine as a single mother. I married another man 5 years later. He turned out to be an abuser of both my daughter and me. I left him after 3 months, but he stalked me and I got an order of protection and then he divorced me. She did not tell me until 4 years later that this 2nd husband had done this to her. Then a few months after that, she told me about the boyfriend who had molested her once.

You can see why I am covered with guilt.

Somehow, I think you should tell your parents, if they are loving parents. Maybe they can help you through this with their love and support. You need that love and support right now.

You have so many unbearable burdens on you right now. No one can carry all that, my young sister. Please ask your parents for help. I will be in prayer for you that if it is right, the right time will come to talk to them.

Even though it hurt to find out what happened to my daughter (she only admitted to her father abusing her when she was 16, and it happened when she was 4), I am still glad that I know for sure. It helps me to pray heartily for her, to understand that she has wounds that are not her fault, wounds that Jesus can heal in her through time.

Perhaps one or both of your parents would understand and love you through these horrible memories and issues.

I am so sorry that there is this evil in the world that causes humans to do this to children. I am so sorry that these things happened to you, my friend. Oh, if it could only be completely erased.

In heaven, you will remember it no more.

Just remember too, you will have abilities to minister to others from similar situations---in time as you heal. This gives you an ability that some others do not nor will ever have. It's pain that has scarred you, but your scars are evidence and fill you with the compassion to pray and minister to others.

You have a hope. You have a future. Test Him and see that He is good.

love,
Dreamer

 

[TheWidowsOffering]

Hi Emma,

I feel sorry reading your post. I can't imagine how hard for you to handle this issue alone yourself apart from the Lord. It will always take the Lord's abundant grace and mercy to come up with a totally healed wounded soul and bad memories.

....This is always a hard thing to do... to extend forgiveness to those who acted on us against our will...

I am praying for you my friend..


Dear dreamer,


I would like to congratulate your daughter for having a mom like you. If you're my Mom.. I will be very proud of you...


The Lord bless you and your daugther.


Sister in Christ,


Reymielin

 

[Boanerges]

I am so sorry that happened to you my sister. I will be praying for you.
Those people are not above the law and if they did this to you they more than likely did it to others. Consider going to the police.
I know you are hurt but you are seriously in need of counseling. Please consider calling your Pastor or another local Pastor. They are generally well trained in helping folks deal with their wounded souls.

 

[safeinchrist]

thank you for prayers!

Hi everyone!

I want to thank you all for the prayers, it is easier to deal with the whole situation now.

I found out recently that the man that abused me first is dead now. It makes me feel really bad. I wanted to forgive him when I had the strength to. But i know that he will be forgiven by God.

Once again thankyou for all prayers!

God Bless!
Emma

 

[Boanerges]

My friend, when you want to come to a place of healing then ask God to help you see these people through His eyes. You will begin to see the terrible bondage and darkness that controls their lives. You will begin to understand that if they knew His freedom they would never have acted that way. You will come to the place of compassion, choose to forgive, receive inner healing and pray for them.
This is healing and this is freedom.
Many blessings in His wonderful Name,
your brother Larry.

 

[safeinchrist]

please forgive me!

Hi again...

Ok, this is really hard for me to tell. But if anything is going to be allright ever again i have to. Some of you will be mad others relieved how ever the reaction is i hope that i will be forgiven.
-----
ok
Yesturday was a big blessing for me. My eyes were opened by Gal 5:7-8 i realized that I wasnt living the truth. But i want to live that truth, thats why I have to tell the truth, the truth is that nothing ever happened to me in the Netherlands. Its all a lie. i feel really bad for posting this, i feel ashamed for what i have done.

Yesturday i saw the old Emma, the one who was before all lies. That insecure, unloved, unaccepted and shy Emma, the one that had noone who cared. I want that Emma to come forth again, and not be covered in lies. I want the real me to be filled with God and have nothing with sin to do. i want to get that emptyness back, the hole, that the lies took, back. I want it to be filled with God. Im trying to give that space to God.

Im fighting the fear to post this, but i have to overcome that fear. I have to fight it with God by my side. Im not gonna let the evil win that hole, it belongs to God.

I hope that you will be able to forgive me! I am truly sorry for this, i am in tears . I understand if you are mad, but i hope that i will be forgiven when time is right...

( anyone who got krystals/sentinel7 :s PM, its about me)

Im sorry!
Emma / safeinchrist

 

[sentinel7]

good work and well done sis!

Hi again...

Ok, this is really hard for me to tell. But if anything is going to be allright ever again i have to. Some of you will be mad others relieved how ever the reaction is i hope that i will be forgiven.
-----
ok
Yesturday was a big blessing for me. My eyes were opened by Gal 5:7-8 i realized that I wasnt living the truth. But i want to live that truth, thats why I have to tell the truth, the truth is that nothing ever happened to me in the Netherlands. Its all a lie. i feel really bad for posting this, i feel ashamed for what i have done.

Yesturday i saw the old Emma, the one who was before all lies. That insecure, unloved, unaccepted and shy Emma, the one that had noone who cared. I want that Emma to come forth again, and not be covered in lies. I want the real me to be filled with God and have nothing with sin to do. i want to get that emptyness back, the hole, that the lies took, back. I want it to be filled with God. Im trying to give that space to God.

Im fighting the fear to post this, but i have to overcome that fear. I have to fight it with God by my side. Im not gonna let the evil win that hole, it belongs to God.

I hope that you will be able to forgive me! I am truly sorry for this, i am in tears . I understand if you are mad, but i hope that i will be forgiven when time is right...

( anyone who got krystals/sentinel7 :s PM, its about me)

Im sorry!
Emma / safeinchrist

thank God…





thank you for being brave and overcome~ you are forgiven by God and me too so wipe the tears and rejoice xxx. I’m so proud of you and love you loads ((((((((((((()))))))))))))) in Christ



thank you all for prayers.


Rom14:8/Gal2:20 for the one fighting


May God continue to heal our heart as the Spirit of truth guide us, amen.





your sister Krystal

 

[aristotle]

i say to you what your Lord says: your sins are forgiven and are no longer retained against you.

you are loved and as such have no need for fear. step forward and let forgiveness wash over you and remove the guilt and shame to place you in His freedom.


your brother and servant in Christ, aristotle

 

[Dreamer]

I am glad it is not true!

You were right to come here and confess...and you know you have God's forgiveness.

And I'm just rejoicing with you that it's not true...what else can I say?

 

[rdcast]

You can see why I am covered with guilt.

Dreamer, you trusted these men with your life in exchange for their love. Their cruelty for having taken your life, never having loved you is beyond human forgiveness, but not for our Lord: Dear Jesus, we pray that you deal with these men in Your ultimate wisdom and plan. Please Lord Jesus, bring Dreamer into your loving arms and let her see clearly, this wasn't her fault to so trust the men who promised to nurture and protect her and her daughter. We thank You for Your strength and glorious righteousness that you bring into our lives, fulfilling all that we need. We ask now, for you healing grace to flow over mother and daughter as we kneel with praise and honor in our hearts and mouths for You, our Lord. Honor, glory and praise be Yours forever. Amen

What do you think about being proactive Dreamer and Emma? Being victimized hasn't ended for either of you to this day and wont for some time to come. How many women and children have they abused, are abusing and will abuse, lest they be stopped? Believe me, there are pastors who would pursue these men till they were off the streets, but I don't know your circumstances. For you to peruse them with public charges would be further abuse and sacrifice. Your communities need to find out so this can be dealt with. There must be godly men and women who should respond on your behalf. I pray for this to happen. How many of these men's victims would be willing to come forward?

 

[rlowe]

YouTube - Amazing Love - You Are My King (with lyrics)