Hey!!! Wow that must be a really really hard decision to make! I cant imagine separating from my boyfriend... but with children and that form of physical imtimacy tying you together it must be a doubly incredibly hard thing to do! I'm so glad to hear that someone is beginning to take Christ seriously in their lives again... I remember three years ago the intense struggle it was for me trying to stay away from God, it was so frustrating to feel that strong pull just to give my life over to Him, and I tried so hard to ignore it... every time I broke down or questioned myself I just told myself it was a fluke... I had at that point in my life enjoyed several things I knew that I wouldnt be able to do anymore as a Christian but I knew that if I was going to believe in God, I was actually going to BELIEVE in Him, you know? When I finally gave into Him it was such a relief! The world didn't shake or shatter, when I opened my eyes from worshipping with my fellow youth teenagers for the first time, no one could tell that I had just irrevocably given my life to Christ, in fact no one met my eyes when we went to sit back down and I felt disappointed a little... but I've never regretted my decision! Well, I take that back, at certain times in the very beginning I had a hard time adjusting, especially when I read Ephesians 4:29 which resulted in a tantrum over not cursing anymore! That was so hard to let go of... a lot more than it should have been. =/ And I myself can testify that as one who sufferes from depression (Genetic. Ugh.) I have been on the very edge of something immensely drastic an permanent as a way of getting away from the pain, but with Christ I was able to hold on and cling to the fact that He's THERE he's holding on in the good times and BAAADD and where before Him I could have added another tally mark to the number of times I've attempted to leave this world, with Him I am now soo much better, feeling a LOT more appreciated and worthy of love, worthy of honest affection because I rode out the painful big waves!! And I'll be starting college soon and my plan at the end of all of it is to (hopefully, if God decides where to put me!) go into the ministry as either a worship leader who helps with youth or a youth pastor who helps with music... I love music and I also have a big large floppy beating heart for youth who are desperatly trying to find their way in a world that demands anorexia (and fake implants), violence, and sex from it's youngins to be popular...
Wow I wrote a lot more than I planned too... I kind of got carried away.. but I guess to sum up my blathering I just wanted to say I'm GLAD you're taking tentative steps towards Jesus... don't get frightened a bolt around that corner away from Him just yet! Theres a big warm electrically heated blanket of comfort just waiting for you to cuddle into it on a cold stormy day (metaphorically speaking)!! It's not going to be like you've suddenly rose into Heaven, and you'll still have doubts and troubles (this is Earth after all...) but if you perservere and rely on God He can show you some pretty amazing things you could never have done or seen or known about before. Like oh my goodness, did you know those "miracles healings" are actually REAL?!?! Holy toledo I had no clue until a few months ago!! Freaaaaaky! Haha but very very cool!
Um so yeah... talked wayyy too long! Hope you're having a good day by the time you see this, give that precious child of yours a kissie for me! (and blow one to your stomach!! ) babies are so cute and little with their little toes and fingers... I'm so excited for you and that little one growning within you!!
Oh yeah forgot I was saying goodbye!
Um. Bye!!
God bless too!
Kimberly <3
