First welcome section8kffk!! First allow me please to address this as a child, then as an adult. I have no doubt, that you are very good at your job! My dad was a cop for almost 24 years. He was an ex marine, and was a detective.
But his family life was very bad. He was a dad,who could never admit he was wrong. Even when he was wrong. His words used to both my mother and us kids were always, why are you all the way you are? You should be more like me! No one in our house could ever please him.
An to him,there was no one more important! When he finally passed away,just about the time my mother was going to divorce him,we as children could understand why. NOW!! I am not saying that you are in any way like him!! NEVER!! I have known many good fine decent men who have been in law enforcement.
However I do not know a single one of them,that do not have issues at home either. When you go out for 8 hours a day at least 5 days a week, and have to put up with some of the things you do put up with!! How could one just shut off work? If a child or a mother gets a sorry attitude,one usually thinks to the stupidity of there workplace,and then has little tolerance at home as well.
But as you have found out,home is just as much, if not more of a job then the job you get paid for. My dad wanted the Lord until he was making good money,then he had little use for the Lord.He did not need him. But he needed him far more then he ever could have believed.
When my family was not doing good money wise,we were doing very good family wise,we went to Church every Sunday, dad would never miss! But after the money started to roll in a bit,well God was put away.And with God being put away, so was the rest of our family.
Since I do not know you whatsoever,I sure am not judging you in any way! But you came here to here some truth. That is why the Lord brought you to us. We all here have weakness,we all need each other here,that is why we are here.To encourage,to lift up!
Now as an adult. God loves you,he always has,but you are no child anymore either. The Word says it rains on the just and the unjust,meaning the same problems happen to both those who love the Lord,and those who may not be as close to the Lord as they should be.( 1 peter 3:7-12)
If you have not been much of a bible reader,please start. I found I myself could not ever change until I had some knowledge. And knowledge as we both know do us little good unless we put that knowledge into action in our own lives. I had to look at me! What am I doing wrong? Where am I falling? I know me fail??
To have understanding for others,we must first look deep within ourselves to have some understanding for ourselves. For can we give to another when we ourselves have so much lack? You did not come here to be preached to,so I sure do not wish to do this!
All I wish to do,is to get you to do something I myself had to learn!2 Cor 13:5 Change can only come,when we ourselves seek to change. Just a thought my brother,not a rebuke! I sure will be praying for you.And I hope that your are presently doing very well in your new home,with your new wife.
All I am saying is that perhaps,just perhaps,if you are seeing the same problem now,as in the past,perhaps you need to look where I did.Could it be me?? I found it was me. So I got very busy in God's Word to allow the Lord to do so rearranging in me! I am glad I did so!
Took a lot longer then I wished it to,but that was because I was very hard headed,I am a Vietnam Veteran as well. So to some degree I understand the pains of change even as you are facing. Do not feel bad!! Just understand you,so then you can then understand another better.
When you get the time please read 6 chapters of 2 tim. These chapters were written for a Soldier,as well as for anyone who is in any kind of authority such as yourself. This my brother in Christ is what is expected of us,from us,and yes by us! I hope you have been greatly encouraged!! Blessing to both you and your family!
