Need help

[Choirgirl]

Dear Everyone who may read this post

I'm new here so hi!

I believe in Jesus. But I don't feel I have a close relationship to Him. I really want to have a close relationship, but my thoughts are not clean. The scary thing is that I feel I've slipped away from God lately, and maybe I'm slipping even more away from Him...I try to be a good human beeing, but it's not only my actions, but my thoughts that are difficult for me. I'm getting this bad images and sinful thoughts that I don't wanna have, and I feel it can be hard to control what to think as well. It's like I'm saying to myself: Don't you think that, I don't wanna think that...and it's so hard not to think and to just say no and let the thoughts go away. One night, while I was lying thinking about something irrelevant for this post, I heard this cruel laughter inside me. I was scared of course, I don't exactly know what's happening to me. A demon? On the other side, I'm afraid to overexaggerate, maybe it will only get worse then. I don't wanna have these thoughts, I have prayed, but maybe not in the right way and with the right amount of hope and faith + I can get bad thoughts wile praying. I feel so empty inside, it's like I've lost more or less good feelings, I just wanna be a good person, also on the inside, but it's so hard with these thoughts. Sometimes they come from seemingly nowhere. Maybe I'm going to hell anyway, I'm sure I've have hurt God with my thoughts, but I don't want to think them or to hurt Him, it's just so hard to control. Or are they my thoughts? They seem to interrupt when I pray and especially at night. I want to have a close relationship to God, I want to be a good Christian and I want to have a clean and peaceful mind. Can you please pray for me and help me?

Thank you for reading.
PS: English is not my first language.

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings Choirgirl,

I will pray much for you and ask you believe with me for total and lasting freedom from all dark and negative thoughts... especially any that leave you thinking that the Lord would not have you right by His side eternally as His precious child....

reach out to Jesus... He's reaching out to you!

Bless you Choirgirl, in Jesus Name ....><>

Br. bear

 

[stephen]

Hi Choirgirl

Reading your post you are in need of Spiritual help Seems like something not of God is troubling you. Be aware that things of this nature cannot trouble anyone unless they have gained access somewhere in life.

I will pray, and I am praying now that you will know freedom. Bondage is no good to anyone, and can bring torment, and depression

Meranwhile I suggest that you give thought regarding any association in your life where access could have been gained into your soul. If you come up with anything, break from it.

We will be praying for you

 

[Choirgirl]

Thank you both of you.

I know about one sin (I won't say it loud here) that I did earlier that could lead to this, but I do not do it know. But as said my thoughts are not clean.

There have been some changes in my life however:
- I began in highschool last year(it's highscool right? i'm sixteen now)
- I have a friend who also was in my class before, but she goes to another school and we don't talk so much anymore. I think she is a very good role model and a good Christian.
- there are some Christians in my class, but they're not the same as my friend I mentioned earlier, and I don't really know them so well and we live life in different ways. The people I hang with in my class are not Christians.

Also:
+ I don't go to church each Sunday...quite rarely to be honest...
However, I sometimes go to a Christian meeting held for youths at another place on Fridays.

 

[stephen]

+ I don't go to church each Sunday...quite rarely to be honest...
However, I sometimes go to a Christian meeting held for youths at another place on Fridays.

Fellowship with other Christians, in Church or elsewhere, will be of great help to you. Getting into an atmosphere of worship and praise, and magnifying Jesus yourself will put you through to the Holy Spirit. The more you draw hear to Jesus the more the Holy Spirit will come into your life.

Praise God and give thanks to him every day, as you go about your business

Praying

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Dear Choirgirl

I am praying right now that you will feel the peace of God surrounding you, and that you will be able to rest free of these awful thoughts.

Your post bought tears to my eyes as I personally understand a little of what you are going through with horrible thoughts invading your head.

Try to remember that the Lord knows what you are going through and He loves you. He is greater and stronger than any other power. When fear overtakes you remember that you are so precious to the Lord and despite how you feel nothing/no-one can take away your salvation.

We do not cease to pray for you Collosians 1:9

Julia

 

[Choirgirl]

Hi, it's me again

Thank you for your prayers

I've heard on some audio teachings from Andrew Wommack recently about a "hardened heart" and a bit on "a better way to pray". I'm sure I have a hardened heart, my good feelings doesn't "sting" so much as before, I feel empty, my hope is fainting, I'm struggling with a lot of unbelief. To be honest I'm sort of unsure if God loves me. I'm afraid I have committed the unforgiven sin by thinking so evil thoughts about Him. I also have evil thoughts about others, those I love, I don't want to have them! I think something evil is bothering me, this cruel laughter I heard was certainly not from myself. I want to be set free, but I don't know if my own prayers will do because I'm unsure if I'm a righteous person in Jesus with these thoughts that may be unforgiven.

Now I'm feeling so evil, with all these evil thoughts in my mind. I know that Jesus is greater than any evil thought and "power", but the evil thoughts/demonic didn't go away even though I commanded the thoughts/demonic to go out of my mind in the name of Jesus. It has to be my hardened heart and my unbelief. I have been feeling hopeless a long time, I hope you can pray so I can be set free from evil thoughts/demonic. I hope you can pray for that I can love Him, feel His love (if He still loves me), have a healthy Fear of God, love others, get to know Jesus, build my faith and to think good thoughts. If it's OCD I hope you could pray for my healing. I know this is a lot to ask for but it's so important to me. Could you pray for me? I miss my heart.

Would you pray for my mother as well? Could you pray for that she won't get any adverse effects from the medicines she's taking. She has been suffering from migraine a long time, could you pray for that too? And could you pray for her health in general?

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Dear Choirgirl

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you are going through such an awful battle within yourself.

The fact that you are saying these things shows that your heart isnt hardened , infact, quite the opposite. The Lord loves you and will forgive you for all sins. The precious blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sins...trust that promise....not your awful feelings. The devil is a powerful foe to all Christians but Jesus is Victor.

I will take your struggle to the Lord in prayer right now and pray that He will give you a sense of deep peace and ressurance.

Assuring you of prayers

God bless you

Julia

 

[Choirgirl]

Thank you for your prayers jskm

 

[jari]

Hi Choirgirl,
I've been there and God will get you over all that.

I think your problem is that you have not fully put your hope on Christ because trying to be a good christian by our own will and strength is impossible battle for us but by putting your hope in Jesus that He has paid all your sin dept so that you can ask Jesus to cleanse you from those evil thoughts. God does not get angry to you but like you noted it's difficult to pray and troubling to be anyway so we must ask Jesus to wash us clean.. with His blood.. He is very able and we all grow towars holiness of course, under His grace and it's He who makes us better Christians - for His glory.

May God bless you sister, abudantly, Jesus loves you very much and is not angry to you, just need to ask for Him.

 

[Jerusha]

Dear choirgirl,
I jus wanna tell u one important thing..THERE IS VICTORY IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS so claim it.First accept Lord Jesus as your personal saviour in your heart.try to attend the church services as much as possible.Read the bible an pray ask Lord to keep ur thought life filtered.that the way u can be closer to the Lord and lead a victorious life.
Praying for you.

 

[Choirgirl]

Thank you for your replies jari and Jerusha.

Can you please show me how to claim the blood of Jesus? Is it the thread with the name: "how to plead the blood..." at the top of the prayer section you are referring to?

"God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16
Is this to accept Jesus in my heart? I am believing that He died on the cross to take the payment for humans sins and that He rose again from the dead.

But for my sins, these evil thoughts? I'm afraid that maybe I have committed the unforgiven sin by thinking them. I'm not totally sure about if I'm forgiven for them and it is difficult for me to just suddenly be totally convinced that I'm saved. Maybe that's the part that lacks?

When it comes to Church: I was baptized in a Catholic Church, but I don't know if it's the right place for me. Please don't misunderstand me, those I know there are really nice people, but I'm just not totally sure if it's the right Church for me. It seems that in total, I'm spending more time in the local Lutheran Church and other Christian, non-Catholic places and arrangements than in my Catholic Church. So I'm not quite sure...

 

[jari]

Hi Choirgirl.

This is what Jesus says about forgiving our sin:

Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
(Mar 3:28 KJV)

You see, God is always bigger than our sins and this is what is said about Jesus of whom He is:
Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
(Mat 1:23 KJV)

So God had to sacrife His only begotten son for our sakes and that sacrifce is enough!
Hallelujah!
You can always pray that Jesus fills you with is joy and peace and pray that He washes away (cleanses you) from all sins. Even bad thoughts may come we just patiently pray for Him on each day until we are clean and still we can stumble but again the blood of Jesus washes clean from all sin.

See this article for what the Bible says about what we really are in Christ (saved) wheter we know it already or not :
http://www.talkjesus.com/get-saved-now/9340-christ-i-am.html

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
(Joh 1:12 KJVA)



Maybe you should seek a spiritually alive church if your current church isnt such. Being a nice people doesnt mean spiritually alive. But those who love Jesus from all their heart, seek their company.

God bless