rag4aCrown
Active
- Joined
- May 14, 2014
- Messages
- 838
When I confessed to God I was alone; coming down from meth, and had a sketchbook in my lap. I wrote it out as I cried to God. Many times I could not even see the page; for a river of tears filled my lap and smudged my ink. I rode with 1% bikers, I still own my Harley, but I chained her up and locked her down. When I rode, it was business. I believe God has a different business for me and her now; as she is the only thing He has not purged me from. What I didn't burn, I sold, what didn't sale, I gave away, and walked away from my property and home putting it in my son's name.
I walked the straight and narrow with God about 8 yrs. earlier; I had not been baptized in the Ghost and didn't understand the Word; but still followed according to traditions ways. One day, upon leaving a Sunday morning service, I confessed to God, "Lord, Is this it? This can't be all there is. I show up, sit on the pew and have no idea what was just preached; I am more confused now than when I went in. If I am to follow and walk with you; I want to do it just like you, cause I know you did it right." I never went back to another church. I walked lost, but not yielding myself to the sin of life; I was good and treated people with kindness. Then about 6 yrs. after I walked away; I found myself riding with 1% bikers, going back to my old ways with a new group, putting myself in harms way, getting unruly, high, drunk, pathetic.... God, always pulling at my heart.
My Repentance
Lord, I am a wrenched *****. I have committed every felony (sin) against God, His Word and myself; I confess. I am the greatest contributor to my shortcomings. I have allowed people to use me and take great advantage of me. All for the sake of love and friendship, knowing it is worldly false hope and is destined to end. I, knowingly, allowed the ways of people to use me for their own selfish gain, and at the same time, I am just as guilty as they. I desperately wanted a friend to confide in, even though I knew my path of confidence was nothing but mud.
I have given my body for sex. I have taken drugs. I have drank enough whiskey to float a large boat. I can not hide anything from you Lord, so I will not even try. I have did many things just as the world has done, all for the sake of love, and have come up short yet again, as I knew I would, but I chose to do it anyway. I don't like me very much at all. Lord, I am the greatest of sinners.
I have done my share of evil, and what I didn't do, I accomplished through vain imaginations. All I have accomplished is a feeble mind, and a broken spirit, yet, I only have myself to blame. I have cried endless nights, pathetic and full of shame. I am sober now. I am still a dirty rag, but I realize I cried more for those in their worldly ways and self justifications then I cried for myself. I know God is true to forgive those who ank and believing they receive. I have walked the straight and narrow with you several years ago. Lord, you showed me great things that are yet to come.
I have been called the devil by God's people and yet I have been called the devil by the sinners of the world. God, even though, I have stumbled and staggered about and have fallen from your Grace and your Word. I believe you never left me. I would hear you call me and I refused to yield. I find myself alone again. I have no job, no money, my scoot is on the jack, and those people that called themselves my brother and sister have no uses for me anymore. I have been easily forgotten. I have lived and walked for the world and I have lived and walked whole heartedly for God. I believe I have walked astray long enough. Even as a child with faded understanding I felt like an alien in a world I didn't belong.
God forgive me of my sins, my evil ways, my sinful thoughts, my condemnations, my judgments, my stubbornness. Convict my spirit Lord as I truly miss the LOVE you gave to me. I profess my sins to God, and will do it before the congregation you have pulling my heart to go to. You are the all seeing, all hearing, all knowing God. Lord, take me, convict me, purge me, quicken me, wash me of the wrenched ***** I chose to be. Jesus save me, cleanse me, teach me, heal me, justify me, sanctify me and make me the vessel you desire me to be. Use me Lord for the Glory of God.
Lord, I am chasing after you own heart.
In Jesus name I pray.
The very first scripture He unveiled to me; "sin would have never been known except first there be a falling away". Amen.
God is in control; no matter what we do; everything happens by Him, for Him. Even Satan bow before the KING of kings and the LORD of lords. Amen.
God and myself picked right back up where we left off; I was being called the devil, by the house made with hands, again.
That is the reason I walked away from them to begin with. Of course, He has introduced Himself to me properly now; and I understand this is what happens in there when one comes forward, sent by God, walking and talking in His power and authority. They treated me shamefully; however, I would not quit going back. My life is not my own; it belongs to God. Amen. I learned so much in that synagogue of Satan. My story about going through that is under stories "I'm Sending You Into the Wolves Den".
After, all the church business went down; one of the ole clubbers came around to check on me; after 9 months. He was in trouble and needed my help. Hum.... I told him about Jesus; testified many things, he saw the Spirit of God and His glory resting upon me. I tried to help him; now this person is the only person I had ever told, "I would take a bullet for you." He despitefully used me up, to tear me down, and left me feeling worse than when I repented, naked and full of shame. He knew where I was with God; and we sit in the shop working on bikes and I asked him "do you believe?" He said, "How can I not. I grew up in it. My dad was a preacher." I said, "That is not what I asked you. Do you believe?" He confessed and said "Yes." God heard him. Amen.
Well, I was all used up and tossed to the curb and left for dead again. They had no further use for me. Don't you know, that man stabbed me in the back to some of the others and scoffed and tried to make a mockery of God. Lord have mercy. I went to Him and told Him what the Lord had showed me in a night vision. I had seen no one, had been in contact with no one, he knew this. When I told him the story, I could have went on and told him who he had been backbiting to; but God told me the other guy was coming around the corner. He saw me and started harping about God this and God that. I sit silent and just smiled. A saw my "friend" as the Lord shined within him, giving him revelation of what I had already witnessed to him. He knew the "lone wolf" I spoke of was him. That "lone wolf" God showed me was attacking me from behind.
When sometime had elapsed; I was sent to him once more. I had to go prophesy to him again. I told him "I saw your entire house engulfed in flames". He got very agitated and began to, even more aggressively, stroke the large blade he was sharpening. I knew he wanted to cut my throat; but God was in control. I said, "God is Spirit; and you are fixing to lose everything you've got unless you REPENT. Your spiritual house is on fire. Not, so much for what you done to me; but you think you can make a mockery of God. When we were working on bikes that night and you said you believe; God heard you." He tried to deny talking about me behind my back and I called him on it. "Are you telling me God is a liar?" Well, then he said "he may have made a slight mention of it". I told him "NO. You were ripping me to shreds." He tried to encourage me with "YOU know me." I said, "Yes, I know you." I always knew he was a wolf; but thought I could show him some people are loyal to their word and can be a true friend without robbing them blind or seeking self gain. I was wrong. A wolf is still a wolf; and he will bite you if you turn your back to him. Amen.
So far, he is too ashamed to come to me; as I have not seen him since around Christmas 2013 now. When, I left he said, "You know you are welcome here anytime." I said, "The road works both ways." I will not go there; and he knows that is what I was telling him. God is in control and that is one major purge I had to go through. God has taught me so much; but I was willing to go through some things. Even falling down and scrapping myself up after He had baptized me with the Ghost. Amen. Be careful when ye think ye stand, least ye fall. Amen. I should have never been where I was and I knew it when I went to help him out; I knew he would use me up again and have no further use for me. I allowed him to do it anyway; however, I witnessed to him and testified to him while he was doing it. Amen. It wasn't a total loss, but the baggage that I packed afterwards sure was heavy. God has forgiven me; and has finally allowed me to forgive myself. Amen. He brings him to mind sometimes and I pray for him.
My life is not my own; it belongs to God. There is not a man, woman, child, or demon of hell, that can pluck me out of my Father's hand. I was in great danger of eternal damnation. I sinned against God knowingly. I encourage you all to DO IT NOT!!! If my shortcomings and testimonies can aid you in your walk with God; it is my duty to testify to you what God has taught me. His Word tells us; What I have given you in darkness, speak ye in light; What you have heard in your ear, preach from the roof tops. Amen. Be thankful for everything you go through, because God is in control and you are growing in Him. Amen. Endure; No matter what state I am in, therewith being content. Amen. God isn't ever finished growing inside you. As you are willing to give yourself; by Him, for Him, He is willing to mold your vessel of clay into a vessel worthy to be used of Him. Perfected by God, prepared, properly clothed, and ready for battle. Amen.
All praise, honor, and glory be to God. Amen.
I walked the straight and narrow with God about 8 yrs. earlier; I had not been baptized in the Ghost and didn't understand the Word; but still followed according to traditions ways. One day, upon leaving a Sunday morning service, I confessed to God, "Lord, Is this it? This can't be all there is. I show up, sit on the pew and have no idea what was just preached; I am more confused now than when I went in. If I am to follow and walk with you; I want to do it just like you, cause I know you did it right." I never went back to another church. I walked lost, but not yielding myself to the sin of life; I was good and treated people with kindness. Then about 6 yrs. after I walked away; I found myself riding with 1% bikers, going back to my old ways with a new group, putting myself in harms way, getting unruly, high, drunk, pathetic.... God, always pulling at my heart.
My Repentance
Lord, I am a wrenched *****. I have committed every felony (sin) against God, His Word and myself; I confess. I am the greatest contributor to my shortcomings. I have allowed people to use me and take great advantage of me. All for the sake of love and friendship, knowing it is worldly false hope and is destined to end. I, knowingly, allowed the ways of people to use me for their own selfish gain, and at the same time, I am just as guilty as they. I desperately wanted a friend to confide in, even though I knew my path of confidence was nothing but mud.
I have given my body for sex. I have taken drugs. I have drank enough whiskey to float a large boat. I can not hide anything from you Lord, so I will not even try. I have did many things just as the world has done, all for the sake of love, and have come up short yet again, as I knew I would, but I chose to do it anyway. I don't like me very much at all. Lord, I am the greatest of sinners.
I have done my share of evil, and what I didn't do, I accomplished through vain imaginations. All I have accomplished is a feeble mind, and a broken spirit, yet, I only have myself to blame. I have cried endless nights, pathetic and full of shame. I am sober now. I am still a dirty rag, but I realize I cried more for those in their worldly ways and self justifications then I cried for myself. I know God is true to forgive those who ank and believing they receive. I have walked the straight and narrow with you several years ago. Lord, you showed me great things that are yet to come.
I have been called the devil by God's people and yet I have been called the devil by the sinners of the world. God, even though, I have stumbled and staggered about and have fallen from your Grace and your Word. I believe you never left me. I would hear you call me and I refused to yield. I find myself alone again. I have no job, no money, my scoot is on the jack, and those people that called themselves my brother and sister have no uses for me anymore. I have been easily forgotten. I have lived and walked for the world and I have lived and walked whole heartedly for God. I believe I have walked astray long enough. Even as a child with faded understanding I felt like an alien in a world I didn't belong.
God forgive me of my sins, my evil ways, my sinful thoughts, my condemnations, my judgments, my stubbornness. Convict my spirit Lord as I truly miss the LOVE you gave to me. I profess my sins to God, and will do it before the congregation you have pulling my heart to go to. You are the all seeing, all hearing, all knowing God. Lord, take me, convict me, purge me, quicken me, wash me of the wrenched ***** I chose to be. Jesus save me, cleanse me, teach me, heal me, justify me, sanctify me and make me the vessel you desire me to be. Use me Lord for the Glory of God.
Lord, I am chasing after you own heart.
In Jesus name I pray.
The very first scripture He unveiled to me; "sin would have never been known except first there be a falling away". Amen.
God is in control; no matter what we do; everything happens by Him, for Him. Even Satan bow before the KING of kings and the LORD of lords. Amen.
God and myself picked right back up where we left off; I was being called the devil, by the house made with hands, again.
That is the reason I walked away from them to begin with. Of course, He has introduced Himself to me properly now; and I understand this is what happens in there when one comes forward, sent by God, walking and talking in His power and authority. They treated me shamefully; however, I would not quit going back. My life is not my own; it belongs to God. Amen. I learned so much in that synagogue of Satan. My story about going through that is under stories "I'm Sending You Into the Wolves Den".
After, all the church business went down; one of the ole clubbers came around to check on me; after 9 months. He was in trouble and needed my help. Hum.... I told him about Jesus; testified many things, he saw the Spirit of God and His glory resting upon me. I tried to help him; now this person is the only person I had ever told, "I would take a bullet for you." He despitefully used me up, to tear me down, and left me feeling worse than when I repented, naked and full of shame. He knew where I was with God; and we sit in the shop working on bikes and I asked him "do you believe?" He said, "How can I not. I grew up in it. My dad was a preacher." I said, "That is not what I asked you. Do you believe?" He confessed and said "Yes." God heard him. Amen.
Well, I was all used up and tossed to the curb and left for dead again. They had no further use for me. Don't you know, that man stabbed me in the back to some of the others and scoffed and tried to make a mockery of God. Lord have mercy. I went to Him and told Him what the Lord had showed me in a night vision. I had seen no one, had been in contact with no one, he knew this. When I told him the story, I could have went on and told him who he had been backbiting to; but God told me the other guy was coming around the corner. He saw me and started harping about God this and God that. I sit silent and just smiled. A saw my "friend" as the Lord shined within him, giving him revelation of what I had already witnessed to him. He knew the "lone wolf" I spoke of was him. That "lone wolf" God showed me was attacking me from behind.
When sometime had elapsed; I was sent to him once more. I had to go prophesy to him again. I told him "I saw your entire house engulfed in flames". He got very agitated and began to, even more aggressively, stroke the large blade he was sharpening. I knew he wanted to cut my throat; but God was in control. I said, "God is Spirit; and you are fixing to lose everything you've got unless you REPENT. Your spiritual house is on fire. Not, so much for what you done to me; but you think you can make a mockery of God. When we were working on bikes that night and you said you believe; God heard you." He tried to deny talking about me behind my back and I called him on it. "Are you telling me God is a liar?" Well, then he said "he may have made a slight mention of it". I told him "NO. You were ripping me to shreds." He tried to encourage me with "YOU know me." I said, "Yes, I know you." I always knew he was a wolf; but thought I could show him some people are loyal to their word and can be a true friend without robbing them blind or seeking self gain. I was wrong. A wolf is still a wolf; and he will bite you if you turn your back to him. Amen.
So far, he is too ashamed to come to me; as I have not seen him since around Christmas 2013 now. When, I left he said, "You know you are welcome here anytime." I said, "The road works both ways." I will not go there; and he knows that is what I was telling him. God is in control and that is one major purge I had to go through. God has taught me so much; but I was willing to go through some things. Even falling down and scrapping myself up after He had baptized me with the Ghost. Amen. Be careful when ye think ye stand, least ye fall. Amen. I should have never been where I was and I knew it when I went to help him out; I knew he would use me up again and have no further use for me. I allowed him to do it anyway; however, I witnessed to him and testified to him while he was doing it. Amen. It wasn't a total loss, but the baggage that I packed afterwards sure was heavy. God has forgiven me; and has finally allowed me to forgive myself. Amen. He brings him to mind sometimes and I pray for him.
My life is not my own; it belongs to God. There is not a man, woman, child, or demon of hell, that can pluck me out of my Father's hand. I was in great danger of eternal damnation. I sinned against God knowingly. I encourage you all to DO IT NOT!!! If my shortcomings and testimonies can aid you in your walk with God; it is my duty to testify to you what God has taught me. His Word tells us; What I have given you in darkness, speak ye in light; What you have heard in your ear, preach from the roof tops. Amen. Be thankful for everything you go through, because God is in control and you are growing in Him. Amen. Endure; No matter what state I am in, therewith being content. Amen. God isn't ever finished growing inside you. As you are willing to give yourself; by Him, for Him, He is willing to mold your vessel of clay into a vessel worthy to be used of Him. Perfected by God, prepared, properly clothed, and ready for battle. Amen.
All praise, honor, and glory be to God. Amen.
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