Update
I want to thank all of you for your kindness, scripture verses, and especially your prayers. Though comforting, it still has not been easy time for me since joining Talk Jesus. The troubling thoughts seemed to get better but then they started again. In fact they seemed to increase each time I would go to work.
At least until today! Praise report!
I had made a mistake a couple of years ago, that I had been carrying with me. Fear had kept me from coming straight out and admitting it. I would mention the mistake in passing, with the hope that someone would ask more about it, so I could unburden myself and tell the complete truth of my mistake. I don't even think my husband realized the extent of how much this mistake was having on me emotionally and physically at least until this morning. That is when I finally told him what had happened and how instead of speaking up and admitting my mistake I stayed quiet. As time passed, any thought of bringing this up, would just generate a fear in me that was overwhelming. Is this the complete cause of my anxiety? I'm not sure, but it was a big part of it. At least until today.
I told him about it and that I was trying to make up my mind to finally say something but, the fear was once again standing in the way. Talking with him, allowed me to see that this was not the first time fear had taken a hold of us, and that in the previous times. God was able to see us through them! He said whenever someone attempts to "step out in faith" and trust God to be there, Satan does his best to try and stop us with this fear. Well, Satan was winning with me it seems. At least until today! Thank-you God!
God gave me the courage to go to work and confront what I had been carrying with me for these couple of years, along with the fear that was still there. I told a lady friend of mine at work, along with others. Fearing the worse, their response was not what I expected. They started to laugh. Not a mean laugh, but one that I can now see was meant to ease what I had been feeling for so long a time. The relief of getting this out was such, that this friend actually told me that she was seeing color back on my face that had been missing.
So thank-you one and all for being there. Especially I want to thank God for seeing me through this, when I wasn't sure that I'd survive this!
With Love,
Margarette