Emily Ruth
Member
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2010
- Messages
- 23
March 1, 2004, The Day After watching…
The Passion of the Christ
When I went to see this movie, I prepared myself in advance for a life changing experience. There was no doubt in my mind that one way or another, this movie would change my life. I have struggled with my faith most of my life. Recently, I finally came to a point, after watching Bruce Almighty, where I was no longer angry at God.
I accepted His respect of Free Will. It put the burden of my faith back at my feet. For years I was angry, and justifiably. Religious people and the Church always made me feel responsible for all of the evil in my life. It may not have been what they were saying; it was how I was hearing it. I heard them say that if God was permitting it, there must have been a reason. That what was happening to me was discipline by a ‘loving’ father or preparation for some great divine purpose.
That left me angry at God. No matter what was going on – my life was so full of pain at every venture – no one deserved the cruelty that I was suffering. It had started when I was an innocent child and had done nothing to deserve that horror. When I watched the movie Bruce Almighty I realized for the first time that out of respect for free will, both the good and the evil have that choice. Since God will not intervene in either, it is them, not Him or I, who are the perpetrators of the pain I have suffered.
He has, through my willingness to let Him, turned the bad experience into good results. He sent me many angels, many friends, and my Grandmother to see me through. From the day Gram left my life, almost one year ago 3-3-03, He has never let me feel alone and has been guiding me Home.
As I sat in the theater before The Passion began, I prayed to the Holy Spirit to be with me and guide me through the movie. I wanted to know a personal relationship with Jesus, not just loving Him as one loves a Superstar. I could not understand the words “Jesus died for you.” I thought to myself, yeah – and a million other people too. Why or how can I take that personally?
Before the movie began, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Saddam and Gomorrah. He reminded me that God was willing to spare the town for a few. Even one person was worth saving. Abraham appeared to argue this with God and God agreed (even though God already knew what He was going to do) that even the few or the one was important. It wasn’t a matter of numbers; it was a matter of the individual soul. The Holy Spirit also took me to the story of the lost sheep and the prodigal son. He showed me that throughout the ages it had always been about the individual and I was one of those individual’s that He came to save.
With those thoughts in mind, the movie began and I watched the movie realizing that if I had been the only one He had to go through this for, He would have done it just as willingly and gladly. He loved me THAT MUCH. I felt for the first time in my life that I was equally important to Him as anyone else on earth. The theater was empty in my eyes and that movie appeared as though it were really happening right before my eyes. I didn’t see gory details that everyone else did. I saw a parent, a friend, my God, willingly taking a punishment that I deserved because He loved me that much. I understood that kind of love because that is how I had felt loved by my Grandmother and that was the same love I felt for my own children. I also identified with Mary. I understood the enormous pain she was feeling wishing she could take on the pain herself to suffer instead of her son. It all made sense and now it was personal. My heart was overflowing with tears of joy to be witnessing the greatest love there ever was. After I witnessed what He did for me, it is my Free Will that is all that remains to bring me home.
It has been almost 24 hours since I saw the movie and the transformation is complete – I have a new heart. I now feel His love, patience, and grace as I have never known it before. I feel the peace that passes understanding. I now feel the same peace that was always with my Grandmother. The peace that she had from God’s grace and love that I always envied in her and wish I had within me. Her patience and love surpassed my understanding and comprehension. It was awe inspiring. I now fully understand what made it so awesome – it was Jesus inspired, it was love inspired.
One thing I know for sure, bad things will happen in my life as it does in everyone’s life. But now, I know that whatever happens, I can endure through Christ who strengthens me. There is a new dimension to my life where my soul takes refuge.
In Christ’s Love,
Emily
The Passion of the Christ
When I went to see this movie, I prepared myself in advance for a life changing experience. There was no doubt in my mind that one way or another, this movie would change my life. I have struggled with my faith most of my life. Recently, I finally came to a point, after watching Bruce Almighty, where I was no longer angry at God.
I accepted His respect of Free Will. It put the burden of my faith back at my feet. For years I was angry, and justifiably. Religious people and the Church always made me feel responsible for all of the evil in my life. It may not have been what they were saying; it was how I was hearing it. I heard them say that if God was permitting it, there must have been a reason. That what was happening to me was discipline by a ‘loving’ father or preparation for some great divine purpose.
That left me angry at God. No matter what was going on – my life was so full of pain at every venture – no one deserved the cruelty that I was suffering. It had started when I was an innocent child and had done nothing to deserve that horror. When I watched the movie Bruce Almighty I realized for the first time that out of respect for free will, both the good and the evil have that choice. Since God will not intervene in either, it is them, not Him or I, who are the perpetrators of the pain I have suffered.
He has, through my willingness to let Him, turned the bad experience into good results. He sent me many angels, many friends, and my Grandmother to see me through. From the day Gram left my life, almost one year ago 3-3-03, He has never let me feel alone and has been guiding me Home.
As I sat in the theater before The Passion began, I prayed to the Holy Spirit to be with me and guide me through the movie. I wanted to know a personal relationship with Jesus, not just loving Him as one loves a Superstar. I could not understand the words “Jesus died for you.” I thought to myself, yeah – and a million other people too. Why or how can I take that personally?
Before the movie began, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Saddam and Gomorrah. He reminded me that God was willing to spare the town for a few. Even one person was worth saving. Abraham appeared to argue this with God and God agreed (even though God already knew what He was going to do) that even the few or the one was important. It wasn’t a matter of numbers; it was a matter of the individual soul. The Holy Spirit also took me to the story of the lost sheep and the prodigal son. He showed me that throughout the ages it had always been about the individual and I was one of those individual’s that He came to save.
With those thoughts in mind, the movie began and I watched the movie realizing that if I had been the only one He had to go through this for, He would have done it just as willingly and gladly. He loved me THAT MUCH. I felt for the first time in my life that I was equally important to Him as anyone else on earth. The theater was empty in my eyes and that movie appeared as though it were really happening right before my eyes. I didn’t see gory details that everyone else did. I saw a parent, a friend, my God, willingly taking a punishment that I deserved because He loved me that much. I understood that kind of love because that is how I had felt loved by my Grandmother and that was the same love I felt for my own children. I also identified with Mary. I understood the enormous pain she was feeling wishing she could take on the pain herself to suffer instead of her son. It all made sense and now it was personal. My heart was overflowing with tears of joy to be witnessing the greatest love there ever was. After I witnessed what He did for me, it is my Free Will that is all that remains to bring me home.
It has been almost 24 hours since I saw the movie and the transformation is complete – I have a new heart. I now feel His love, patience, and grace as I have never known it before. I feel the peace that passes understanding. I now feel the same peace that was always with my Grandmother. The peace that she had from God’s grace and love that I always envied in her and wish I had within me. Her patience and love surpassed my understanding and comprehension. It was awe inspiring. I now fully understand what made it so awesome – it was Jesus inspired, it was love inspired.
One thing I know for sure, bad things will happen in my life as it does in everyone’s life. But now, I know that whatever happens, I can endure through Christ who strengthens me. There is a new dimension to my life where my soul takes refuge.
In Christ’s Love,
Emily
