ive done something horrible

[rolando]

i did something awful...bad on a scale ive never known

I knew a girl....she is kind...pretty...loved by everyone...Loves God

i knew her last year but we werent really friends...this year we were...she turned me down when i asked her out but she was still nice to me...we were friends i guess...then about a month ago i told her that i knew someone named Sammy, Who didnt exist...i impersonated this person...i talked to her as "Sammy"...i told her stories and stuff...all of them glorifieing me...almost none of them true...then after a while...i told her i could help her get a boyfriend...i told her that i need to know what she looked like so id know what i was dealing with...I TRICKED THIS GIRL...i learned things i shouldnt know...things shed never tell a guy...I learned her measurements, C size, her darkest desires...I encouraged her to masturbate too...Then i started giving her advice on guys...then on thursday she started to get suspicious that Sammy didn't exist...so i told her...I said I was sorry...I am sorry...but she says sorry isn't enough...and that if i try to speak to her or approach her she'll file some kind of Restraining order...

Im sorry...

If she tells people my life is over...all of my friends have been her Friend longer...and know her better than the know me...If she tells people...I can't possibly go back to school...I can't take this...I know im the bad guy...I know God forgives me...but the reality is that this might ruin me

My parents have always saw me as the pride of the family...If they know...how can they be proud of me ever again?

If she takes legal action It'll be on my record
THE worst thing is that I DESERVE IT ALL


I've always hated people that did things like this

I lied to a girl...and violated her most private boundries...all for a cheap thrill
she may be scarred forever because of me

Im sorry...I know god forgives me but i can't escape all this reality
I want to die...I don't want everyone to hate me...I don't want this feeling of impending doom...I don't want my parents image of me as being their "pride and joy" to be tarnished...

 

[Buddy2]

First off. Yes you did wrong, you already know that, but remember ALL of us are sinners and if anyone claims otherwise, they are not in the truth. Okay now Pray. I mean heartfelt thankfulness to God and ask for guidance on what to do. Have patience and don't worry, God is in control even when we act outside of His best will for us. You and her will live on after this. It may not have accomplished your wishes, but we don't know what's around the next corner. Life's a winding road. With a great view! Love you Brother and more importantly God does! I'll PM you with my Email Address.

 

[rolando]

thank you

First off. Yes you did wrong, you already know that, but remember ALL of us are sinners and if anyone claims otherwise, they are not in the truth. Okay now Pray. I mean heartfelt thankfulness to God and ask for guidance on what to do. Have patience and don't worry, God is in control even when we act outside of His best will for us. You and her will live on after this. It may not have accomplished your wishes, but we don't know what's around the next corner. Life's a winding road. With a great view! Love you Brother and more importantly God does! I'll PM you with my Email Address.

when i go to school on monday im going to the counsler

im going to ask him to tell my parents im too scared to do it myself

Im going to church tomorrow for the first time in months too

 

[Buddy2]

when i go to school on monday im going to the counsler
im going to ask him to tell my parents im too scared to do it myself
Im going to church tomorrow for the first time in months too

Really now, please take some time and ask for guidance from God. I'm not saying what you plan is wrong, just slow down and "listen" to Him. Going to Church is ALWAYS good, it strengthens us. You'll be okay. And so will she. You'll have to humble yourself and she'll have to forgive, both good traits to learn.

 

[rolando]

Really now, please take some time and ask for guidance from God. I'm not saying what you plan is wrong, just slow down and "listen" to Him. Going to Church is ALWAYS good, it strengthens us. You'll be okay. And so will she. You'll have to humble yourself and she'll have to forgive, both good traits to learn.

are you saying i shouldnt tell my parents?

or that i shouldnt go to a different school?

because...her myspace thingie says that she was in the councler's office crying on friday...it doesnt say why...but we know...and she discussed it with someone i know

hes a blabber mouth too
its started...i dont want to go back to that school

everyone is going to know what i did and hate me indefinitely

 

[rolando]

ive already face God about this...he says he forgives me...and i must forgive myself...and that therell be no consequences after death.

But thats not the real problem
Im scared of the consequences i must face on earth

she'll have to forgive, both good traits to learn.

She wont forgive
i dont desrve it
she already said that sorry wasnt enough...that she hates me
she said that she can't forgive me

 

[Buddy2]

are you saying i shouldnt tell my parents?
or that i shouldnt go to a different school?
because...her myspace thingie says that she was in the councler's office crying on friday...it doesnt say why...but we know...and she discussed it with someone i know
hes a blabber mouth too
its started...i dont want to go back to that school
everyone is going to know what i did and hate me indefinitely

Talk with your parents. They will truly only want to help.
Don't worry 'bout changing schools yet.

You know what? I didn't deserve to be forgiven by Jesus for the life I used to live But He died for me, you and everyone while yet we were sinners. Pray blessings on her to find forgiveness.

And NOTHING is indefinite in this world.

God Bless You. I gotta go but keep in touch through emails and I will too. God Bless

 

[rolando]

Talk with your parents. They will truly only want to help.
Don't worry 'bout changing schools yet.
You know what? I didn't deserve to be forgiven by Jesus for the life I used to live But He died for me, you and everyone while yet we were sinners. Pray blessings on her to find forgiveness.
And NOTHING is indefinite in this world.
God Bless You. I gotta go but keep in touch through emails and I will too. God Bless

thank you very much...god bless you
i also must go and sleep...its one 1:54 AM
my name is Joshua I dont think i can sleep
But ill try

 

[peeps]

hey rolando *Joshua* this really touches my heart . . . im sorry your so down . . . cant imagine how your friend feels. . she is probably broken in several cases . ..you are rigtht to know that Jesus died for excactly that kind of **** and that God forgives you because you regret your action and turned to the only one who is able to forgive you . . .your consequences will be your coming up actions though . . .you know Joshua, Jesus was scared of walking the walk to the cross . . .he was damaged and hurt and beaten and spit on, tortured and so on because He loves us he went through with it. . .if you wanna follow Jesus . . .you follow those steps also . .. He will carry you where it gets to hard. . .but dont run and flee when it gets difficult . ..the price you wanna pay by being hated from everyone: You will experience that Jesus paid all of it. . .ALL of it. . .by walking in His footsteps and see Gods miracle happen
Everything what you run from will eventually find you . . .face the situation . . .even that girl will see that your trying to face the consequences. .. this might be your life - lesson Joshua . . .do you really wanna miss it . . .and repeat it at some other point in life at a different place with a different person?
Start digging through the mountain . . .dont run around the same problem again . . face it and start working at it. . .God loves you and promises His helping hand
Be blessed and comforted, God will never leave you or forsake you

 

[cana]

Rolando I have always believed all sin no matter how small is designed to destroy a relationship. we all make mistakes when we are young and sometimes bigger mistakes when we are older.You haved allready asked Jesus to forgive you so dont worry...Its sounds to me you liked this girl so much you were willing to try any thing to get her to like you. The best thing to do is to just tell the Truth if you are asked. Their is no darkness in the truth but a lie has to be told over and over. Stay in school and keep you"re head high and seek the Lord Jesus. God has a way of turning things arround for the good. The seeds we plant good or bad are almost never harvested in the same season we plant them. I have prayed that our Lord take this away from you and bring you peace and light into you"re life.

 

[rolando]

Its sounds to me you liked this girl so much you were willing to try any thing to get her to like you.

thats exactly how it was

The best thing to do is to just tell the Truth if you are asked.

i do feel better when i tell the truth...i promise to do that...even at school...but at school...who will talk to me now? Who will want to sit next to me now? Who will invite me to the movies now?

I don't want her to pity me because I'm taking the consequences.

Besides it might be best for her too. What if she is traumatized or something? What if she is scarred or something?

 

[Buddy2]

Good morning my friend! A fresh new day, the sunshine has displaced the darkness. I've prayed for you and her to find comfort and to make the best choices according to God's will. I hope you feel allittle better, Joshua. Depending on our attitude, life can be hard or scary, intriguing and (good kind) challenging. Just trust in Jesus, prey for His guidance and listen. You'll make it through. You'll see.

 

[uknowme]

wow...i mean i cant relate to what happend to you...and yes i agree what you did was wrong!!!BUT you know that...
i can kinda relate to what the girl must feel like...something similare happend to me once...i thought i would never be able to forgive him and i was really hurt...and in some way i did hate that guy...i never wanted to talk to someone about it...then one day i told my mom...after i told her i kinda felt better...but the hate and everything was still there....then one evening i was talking to god and told him everything how i felt and what happend...and the next day i felt much better...i was still hurt but the hate was gone...and it was much easier for me to forgive him...!!!

anyways...maybe that girl will tell her best friends what happend to her...but she might not say the name of who did that to her...
have you ever try to take the time to talk to that girl??? like try to tell her why you did that...cause if she would know then she might be able to some what forgive you....


god bless
kara

 

[Dreamer]

rolando, Jesus forgives you and although it seems very hard, you are going to get through this time of consequences. I rejoice to God for you because you had the sense to listen to the Holy Spirit and your conscience and came to the realization that what you did was wrong. As Peeps said, you can learn from this mistake to act differently in the future. Only God can help us with our weaknesses. We all have weaknesses.

I rejoice to God for your repentance and your soft heart. God forgives and forgets. Your parents will forgive you in time also.

For all have sinned and fallen short of the grace of God---Romans 3:23

 

[rolando]

thnk you all i taked to my pastor in private today
i feel alot better