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Issues with my girl friend

I have been dating this girl on and off for about a year, we had gone out for 2 months and she changed her mind, but then about two months later came back to me saying that she had made a mistake and that she wanted us to be back together, which we have been for close to 6 months..... we are both christians and have faith in God..

the other night while talking to her on the fone ( unfortunately this is a long distance relationship, but a very strong relationship) we had been talking about something and the topic of sex had come up. i told her, like i had before that i would never do that to her unless we were married because i love her! and she said that she didn't think that would hold true... she pointed out when you are married to some one your saying that you want to be with them for the rest of your life, and at that point in time sex isn't a bad thing.... but she said that what is the difference between having sex with some one that you love and want to be with for the rest of your life when you aren't married yet... she seems to feel that it isn't that terribly wrong... as if you were " caught up in the moment" with somthing that this would happen and it wouldn't be terrible bad... i told her that it still says in the bible that sex out side of marriage is wrong... she agrees but still feels that if you love some one so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with that it isn't that bad.... now i know that this isn't going to be a problem at the moment but in the future when we are both graduated from school and heading in the direction of marriage that it might be......

My question is... can any one give me advice and back up proof from the bible on how i can go about explaining this to her? this is somthing that i would like to do tom. night soo i would appreciate quick responses! :thumbs_up

Thanks in advance!
Answer To Your Question

I think you have to explain to her that sex is the most intense, intimate relationship there is and God just did not equip us to handle that intensity outside the marriage relationship. We may think we can but we can't. As far as if you really care about someone enough to marry them, then it isn't that bad, well- what if you don't actually end up getting married? There is only one first time and you have then squandered the gift intended for your spouse.
Staff Member
Greetings brother. First, remind her that she has no worth above GOD to make her own view of the Word of GOD. Not that she is worthless, but not worthy to come up with her own conclusion of what is acceptable to GOD or not. GOD says this, we are commanded to do that. Amen. Here are some Scripture verses to help you.

Exodus 20:14
"You shall not commit adultery.

Deuteronomy 5:18
"You shall not commit adultery.

Proverbs 5

Warning Against Adultery

1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
listen well to my words of insight,

2 that you may maintain discretion
and your lips may preserve knowledge. 3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;

Matthew 5:26-28

26I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.[a] Adultery

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[b] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Mark 10:19
You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.' [ Exodus 20:12-16; Deut. 5:16-20] "

Now, ask your girlfriend to show you Scripture to back her statement. She'll be left in the corner where there is none but a rebuke back at herself for going against Scripture. Pray for her and yourself. This is not a small matter but serious and can affect your relationship in the future.
Your girlfriend has a deeper motivation for discussing the potential for premarital sex in your relationship. She may be crying out for a "righteous" response to a wrong attitude. Her heart is wounded. She may have already experienced "loss" and wants to project that upon you, hoping for fellowship in her unrighteousness. She needs forgiveness and the knowledge that she is loved unconditionally, regardless of her past.
may be very true. she had been in sum relationships b4 with other guys that were things she wished she had never been apart of... she had never had sex with some one else but had been treated... alot differently by other guys then i treat her...
Staff Member
m3...also keep in mind that prayer is the key to all things. If you pray faithfully in Jesus' name to our GOD who loves you very much, you will receive the perfect response to all the questions and matters in your life. GOD is the responder with perfect solutions for all things which He sees.
The term “sexual immorality” in the New Testament comes from the Greek “porneia,” which refers to any sexual activity besides that between a husband and his wife.

Co 7:2 - Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

in other words brother...you cannot justify fornication...just because you love eachother..
Marriage is like we being christains..(in Christ)..therefore...a husband and wife should become one..a pure bonding in the commandment of God as to All men and women thru Adam and Eve...the GIFT brought forth will be a child between you...

There is a difference between lust and love....

I hope you understand...God says he hates those who run to sin..do you want to be hated by God...He also hates those who plan sin. Dont plan your sin thru "love".
hi m3 :love: you asked for lots of advice and thoughts. . .

this is my only one so far:

Even Eve tried to sweet talk Adam into biting the sweet fruit you know?

you have gotten some great bible truth back up here. . .start with this:

Let him who has ears hear :love:

God bless you in your talk and walk (and phonecall) :love:
The term “sexual immorality� in the New Testament comes from the Greek “porneia,� which refers to any sexual activity besides that between a husband and his wife. In other words, prostitution (male or female), bestiality, homosexual activity, any sexual intercourse outside of marriage, and the production and consumption of pornography all are included in this term. (World English Bible Glossary)
All scripture references are NKJV
Ac 15:20 -but that we write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from things strangled, and from blood.

Ac 15:29 -that you abstain from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell.

Ac 21:25 -But concerning the Gentiles who believe, we have written and decided that they should observe no such thing, except that they should keep themselves from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from sexual immorality."

Ro 1:29 -being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers,

1Co 5:1 -It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named* among the Gentiles--that a man has his father's wife!

1Co 6:13 -Â Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

1Co 6:18 -Â Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

1Co 7:2 -Â Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

1Co 10:8 -Â Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell;

1Th 4:3 -Â For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;

Jude 1:7 -Â as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Re 2:14 -But I have a few things against you, because you have there those who hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit sexual immorality.

Re 2:20 -Nevertheless I have a few things against you, because you allow that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.

Re 2:21 -Â and I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent.

Re 9:21 -Â And they did not repent of their murders or their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their thefts.
On the issue of "LOVE"...
A particular denomination, has been trying to decide whether or not to let openly homosexual men and women become ministers in their church. The argument of the homosexual applicants is that...
"God is love, God made love for us to share, and we love each other. How can love be wrong? How can ANYTHING coming from love be wrong?"
Yes, God is love, and he wants us to love one another. He said so, but he also said "Ac 15:20 -...abstain from sexual immorality...". So, are we now picking and choosing which commands to follow? Don't get caught in this trap brother.

Here is something to remember... Although you love her, and she loves you...

Love does NOT trump TRUTH!

Did not Pontius Pilate love his seat over Israel?
Did not King Herod love his throne enough to try and kill the newborn "King of the Jews"?
Did not a kings love for his daughter cause him to behead John the Baptist?
Did not an entire world of people so love their wicked ways that they had to be washed from the earth by a great flood?

Read the TRUTH. Pray for truth. Live the truth.
"I am the way, and the TRUTH, and the life."

God bless you,
you say you love her and that fact that you value her purity along with yours and doin what God wants not what you want shows alot of maturity i must say.
This is a hard subject and to be honest i've battled with it myself but, heres the thing, if god brought ya'll together you should honor god and wait.Its hard!!! i know its hard!!! Pray for me too. lol. but if your gonna do a relationship do it right start off right, i've recently seen in the lives of my parents and grandparents and others that the choices we make now are gonna follow us the rest of our lives. The only way we know that we're making the right ones is if they're the ones God tells us to make. God says wait, so we should. God bless, good luck, make the right choice.
Hey I have heard that when you have sex with someone you get married to them in Gods eyes and so if you two were to do it you would become one and if you were to split up then remeber that you both would have adultry on your name. Also sex can ruin a perfectly good relationship if you are not yet married.
I have seen it happen many times when people become sexual they need to see each other more and if you ar not living together it can cause alot of tensionbalso

a thought to ponder is mary didnt do anything and God made her concieve Jesus meaning if God wanted to teach someone a lesson He could very easily could cause her to fall preg no matter what you use.

But really don't spoil a gift God gave to the married couple for if you two were to do it and it turns out that she id not your wife then what?

You gave your first away to someone elses and stole what belonged to her real husband.

If I think of my ideal husband he has never even held another girls hand before let alone had sex with someone else.I want him to be completely pure for me

Remember God works in seasons.

Test all to the bible before you do anything
Thank you to all that helped me......... we talked about it and set things straight..... she basically said that she loves me and respects what ever decision i make weather she agrees or not... but that wasn't enough... i wanted to make sure that she knows that it isn't right and all the strings attached with that... soo everything worked out fine! prayer does really work! Thank you for all that helped and prayed for me!