I really need prayer and guidance...please.

[Jpersinger]

My name is Jessica. I'm 23. I have been in a relationship with a man named Marcus for 13 months. The first 6 months were very rough. He has had a hard upbringing. His father was never in the picture, and he has done everything for himself most of his life. He is 27 years old. He has been in college pursuing a career in physical therapy, which I am very proud of him for. He is so determined, motivated, and focused on his goals and dreams. He is a good man with a good heart. No one in his family has graduated college, so I think he feels the need to accomplish this. He didn't have time for me, he wouldn't call, or even check up on me. Some nights he would text and tell me "we would be better off as friends". I have always been supportive. I give my all and more, and I have stuck through this really rough time that our relationship was going through. My Parents decided that they were going to move to Tennessee in July. My relationship with Marcus had gotten a lot better, so i decided to take the risk of not going with my family, and staying here in Florida with him. I got my own apartment, thinking everything was going to be great. I am very family oriented, really really close to my mother. She is my main connection to Christ, and how I became such a strong woman of Faith. I moved out in May, He stayed with me most of the time. We were doing things together, going to dinner, movies, fishing. Couple things. We were growing in our love and in our relationship...and i knew i had made the right decision to stay. Now it is October. He is back in school and that seems to take the priority over my and our relationship. The past month has been terrible. We have been fighting all the time, He hasn't been there for me like he should. Staying out all night, not calling again. I feel worthless and unappreciated. I love this man with all of me, and he says he loves me just as much and that he doesn't want to lose me. I have put so much into this, so much. I am lost. He is now saying that he can't give me what i need. That i deserve better, but that he loves me and doesn't think that anyone else would be better for him. My mother and family think i should move home, where I would be supported and where i can heal. I have been crying, heartbroken, depressed and at rock bottom for literally the past month. I am confused and i do not know what to do. I have been praying that God will show me which way to go. I have been praying relentlessly. I love my God and i Know it hurts him when I hurt. I still feel like i haven't received a clear answer. I do not know how much longer I can deal with this sadness weighing down on my heart. It has affected my whole life, my whole being. I have lost myself in pursing the love of another.

Currently, He feels we should take a break in an attempt to save what is left of our relationship. I do not believe in this, but i am trying because i am in love with him. This is devastating to me. I am down here alone, with no family, i have given up my friends. I am alone. I am lonely and my heart constantly in pain. Every minute of every day. I don't think he understands how much of a toll this is having on me. I want to stay and work on it, but he doesn't understand that i can't be down here alone with no support. I don't know if i should move and leave the one man that i'm in love with, or if I should stay and fight through the depression and loneliness in hopes that he will change and realize that i am worth the fight.

Please, pray for me...

Jessie

 

[Trisha]

Hi Jessie,
It does sound like you love this man, but that you lost yourself in the process.
Lord, I pray that you give Jessie the wisdom to know what to do in this instance. I pray you give her a good strong sense of self so she can center herself on you. Please allow her to feel your presence and love. Help her decide what to do as your ways are always the best ways. Comfort her with your Holy Spirit. Thank you in the Name of our Lord Jesus.

Jessie I know this is small comfort right now for me to say this, but if this is not the right man it is better you find out now. I wasted 30 years of my life building it around a man. Throughout the marriage I didn't know God until the last couple of years of that life. He left me flat for someone younger, and it is very hard as I am older and jobs are scarce anyway, I have no skills except keeping house as I was a stay at home. Personally, I think this is an opportunity for you not to go this route with someone who doesn't care anymore for you in a way that has staying power. It is alot worse later on, even though I know heartbreak is never nice.

 

[Jpersinger]

Thank you so much for talking to me. I have never felt so much pain and hurt, confusion in my life. My mother went through the same thing with my father, 16 years of her life she gave to him, just for it to end in divorce because he didn't show her the love that she showed him. She was in pain for 16 years, and i don't want that. My sister is going through the same thing right now. I just don't know if he is the right one or not. I don't know if i should keep fighting, or if i should just let it go, move, and if we are meant to be together...he will find me.

 

[amadeus2]

I won't attempt to advise on this Jessie as it is really out of my personal experience. The only advice I offer is to stay as close to God as you can always. Never stop trusting in the only One Who never stops being trustworthy. I am praying for you as well.

 

[Brad Huber]

Sorry to hear that your heart is broken Jessie. But the Lord is the Great Healer, and he can heal your broken heart in time. My heart tells me I would chose to go home to your family and wait and see if he cares enough to keep in contact, more of a "Lets see if you truly love me or not, by keeping in touch." I get the feeling he doesnt want to commit to you at this time, and his true intentions will show through if you arent "there" for him. That being said, I would stay hopeful that his heart might change to realize that a good christian woman, is better than other things that hold his interest.

I pray that God would help your heart heal and be at peace over the situation sister!

 

[Jpersinger]

Thank you Brad for your advice and prayers. They mean a lot to me. I get that feeling to sometimes, and then when I try to leave, he stops me. It's all just so confusing and exhausting.

Thank you for your encouraging prayer and words amadeus2.

 

[faith08]

Jessica I am in a very similar situation and am confused on whether i should move with my family where i am so happy and around a Christian environment or stay and fight for this relationship that has taken its toll on me and it seems soo hard to leave but im unhappy at times and miss my family soo much i have been praying for guidance and the wisdom to see what is from God i will lift up your situation in prayer as well

 

[Truehearts]

Hi! First of all I would like to know if this guy is a real Christian? Cause I think from there it would be easier for you to decide. Personally I think you are young and could use so much time to serve the Lord, if this man is indeed for you, you will end up with him. Like you sad you are family oriented, I think you're parents are really worried about you having gone through all the heartaches. Besides if you really think that your guy wants to concentrate on studying maybe it will be for the best. Pray for him, if he is a Christian, pray with him about the situation. Save your relationship with God not with any person. Something I learned recently the hard way. Cause HE will never ever break your heart.

May these verses help you.
Romans 8:28
1 Corinthians 13:4-7