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I am new to this forum ..I am looking for spiritual counselling ..So if anyone can reply and encourage me it would be nice

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i dont understand
You cannot understand now, you have not the 'Ability" until your "New Birth"

(John 3)ISV.
3Jesus replied to him, “Truly, I tell youc emphatically, unless a person is born from aboved he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
4Nicodemus asked him, “How can a person be born when he is old? He can’t go back into his mother’s womb a second time and be born, can he?”
5Jesus answered, “Truly, I tell youe emphatically, unless a person is born of water and Spirit he cannot enter the kingdom of God.f 6What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7Don’t be astonished that I told you, ‘All of you must be born from above.’g 8The windh blows where it wants to. You hear its sound, but you don’t know where it comes from or where it is going. That’s the way it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

9Nicodemus asked him, “How can that be?”

10Jesus answered him, “You’re the teacher of Israel, and you can’t understand this? 11Truly, I tell youiemphatically, we know what we’re talking about, and we testify about what we’ve seen. Yet you peoplej do not accept our testimony. 12If I have told you peoplek about earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?
accepted Christ in the year 2013 ..I am from a hindu family ..My questions are all related to my life and all the pain ..I have VERY huge computer and maths talents and I have a great desire to work in Google,facebook like companies in San fransisco Bay area..But I studied in a college where there is 0 exposure to the right way to these companies ..And also there were not great internet facilities back then in India so I did not know the proper way to study for those companies ..so I am preparing for these companies now and started preparing for these companies only from 2018 ..My question is why God shut my path to these companies which are some of the best places to work ..I have lost 8 years of my life ..and these 8 years were full of suffering and pain ..I was also physically and mentally abused by many people ..Why did not God give me best things in life?Well the bible says what a man sows that a man reaps ,,But i did NOT do any harm to anyone ..Then why did i suffer?And why brother God does not wanna give me best things in life like Jobs in these companies which are located in San Fransisco California ..I am not saying I wont work at all but God should give me anything ..These 8 years from 2011 -2017 whatever I suffered under the hands of many people ..during these 7-8 years why did not God show me the right path to these companies ..Had God shown me the right path during these 8 years .I would not have started preparing for these companies in 2018 but in 2012-2013 and today by now I would definetely had been there in one such companies in San Fransisco ..Instead of giving me good things which could have saved my life ..Why did God allow pain and sufferings in my life where he allowed many people to torment me those 8 years??How based on all what happened in my life Can i still believe that God loves me??.Why does not God want to give me best things?plz sorry if I had hurt u ..all i have written in this paragraph is based on my life pain and experiences ..plz tell me why should I still need to worship a God who instead of showing me right path and giving me good things allowed my 8 years to be wasted ..Is it Ok to leave God for another 40-50 years to commensate for the lost 8 years because I nowadays fear to worship God who I think will not give me any thing best and good but will only give me to torment and sufferings ..,I am walking in wildereness ..I believe u can counsel me based on what I have wrirtten ..and Plz sorry i did not mean to hurt u ..
Hello, what comes to mind are

Matthew 6:33


Matthew 11:28-30


1 Peter 5:7

Have you thought of using your abilities for the kingdom? Perhaps beginning in a small way?

May God bless you.