Husbands and Wives

[Sue J Love]

I would like your thoughts on these 2 questions: 1) Based upon the teachings of scripture regarding husbands and wives, in all practicality, what do you believe what is taught should look like in our lives? [I will quote some scriptures] 2) Can you cite any Biblical examples from the New Testament as to how this was lived out in a married couple's life?

Ephesians 5:15-33 ESV: “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Colossians 3:18-19 ESV: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”

Titus 2:3-5 ESV: “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

1 Peter 3:1-7 ESV: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

 

[Cturtle]

I think that we can take these scriptures literally, and walk them out just as they are written. But i don't think that we have to make everything a law, so to speak....like make up, or jewelry, things to be used to judge someone to say they are in sin.

 

[Sue J Love]

I think that we can take these scriptures literally, and walk them out just as they are written. But i don't think that we have to make everything a law, so to speak....like make up, or jewelry, things to be used to judge someone to say they are in sin.

Yes, when interpreting scripture, we do sometimes have to look at the culture of the day, not with regard to what God obviously has called sin from the get-go, but with regard to disputable matters, such as clothing, jewelry (externals), etc. They lived in a different culture from me, so their culture dictated certain things for them. Yet, we can learn from this the basic principle being set forth. Our beauty should be inward, for one, and we should not spend too much time on how we look on the outside, especially if we are neglecting what we look like on the inside. As well, we should dress modestly and what is not drawing attention to our bodies, but people should be drawn to the Lord through us by how we live our lives. For instance, if a woman is speaking as though she is a Christian but she is dressing seductively or is showing off certain body parts or behaves or poses in seductive ways, a man is not going to hear her heart. He is going to be looking at her body. And, what he is going to hear is sex, not Jesus. As well, if Christian women do not dress modestly they could be guilty of tempting men to sin in their minds. We should not lead others into sin by our behavior or by how we dress. Now I know some people can go overboard with this, so we should be reasonable, but I do believe the principle here is not to look gaudy, not to draw too much attention to ourselves, for our outward appearance to match what we say is in our hearts, and for us to not lead others into sin because we dress in such a way that leads others to lust after us.

 

[Travis]

It seems like you pretty much covered it with the scriptures you posted = )

Feminism and the so called "Women's Rights" movement has done more to enslave and oppress women than any male chauvinist could have ever accomplished.

Most western cultures have turned gender roles upside, backwards to forwards, and inside out. Most people don't know whats up or what's down in regard to the matter. It's no wonder so many families are torn apart and people are so confused.

Blessings,

Travis

 

[Sue J Love]

It seems like you pretty much covered it with the scriptures you posted = )

Feminism and the so called "Women's Rights" movement has done more to enslave and oppress women than any male chauvinist could have ever accomplished.

Most western cultures have turned gender roles upside, backwards to forwards, and inside out. Most people don't know whats up or what's down in regard to the matter. It's no wonder so many families are torn apart and people are so confused.

Blessings,

Travis

Travis, That is one of the reasons for this discussion. Though these scriptures may be perfectly clear to some, they are not taught much, and many have no comprehension of how to apply them to their lives, because they have never seen them modeled in the home or in the church, sad to say. For instance, when you read "husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," what does that look like to you? If you are married, and I assume by your name that you are male (forgive me if I am wrong), how is that lived out in your life, if you don't mind sharing? Or, would you be willing to offer some examples of how that might be lived out by a husband toward his wife?

I believe there are a lot of men who have no clue what this means or how they should do this, because, again, they were not taught it and/or they did not have it modeled for them, so they have no human example to follow. I know that I, for one, did not have a dad who modeled such unselfish love toward my mom. In fact, he did just the opposite. And, I have known very few men in my life who have loved their wives in such a manner, sad to say again. I am not saying we need to be perfect or that we have to become legalistic about this, but I am convinced that these teachings are all but lost in today's church and in today's modern Christian and often worldly homes, and so I am hoping to raise awareness that we need to know what these verses teach, and then we need to apply them to our lives, myself included. I still have a lot to learn about being the kind of wife as is described in these verses, but I am learning and I am applying what I am learning by the grace of God and in his power and strength within me. But, I can still learn more.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it;
Ephesians 5:22-25


Greetings @Sue J Love

It is a beautiful reassurance to know that none of the Lord's commands are grievous
All His plans for us are always good

So the roles of men and women as outlined in His most perfect word are there for a purpose
Not as a law of bondage but part of His wonderful plan for our lives

A marriage should be Christ centered with Jesus as the head and most important focus
A non harmonious Christian marriage can only mean the world has slipped in somewhere and taken the Lord's throne

Except Thou build it, Father,
The house is built in vain;
Except Thou, Savior, bless it,
The joy will turn to pain;
But naught can break the union
Of hearts in Thee made one;
And love Thy Spirit hallows
Is endless love begun*



*John Ellerton 1876

 

[Sue J Love]

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it;
Ephesians 5:22-25


Greetings @Sue J Love

It is a beautiful reassurance to know that none of the Lord's commands are grievous
All His plans for us are always good

So the roles of men and women as outlined in His most perfect word are there for a purpose
Not as a law of bondage but part of His wonderful plan for our lives

A marriage should be Christ centered with Jesus as the head and most important focus
A non harmonious Christian marriage can only mean the world has slipped in somewhere and taken the Lord's throne

Except Thou build it, Father,
The house is built in vain;
Except Thou, Savior, bless it,
The joy will turn to pain;
But naught can break the union
Of hearts in Thee made one;
And love Thy Spirit hallows
Is endless love begun*



*John Ellerton 1876

Thank you Grace!

 

[Cturtle]

It seems like you pretty much covered it with the scriptures you posted = )

Feminism and the so called "Women's Rights" movement has done more to enslave and oppress women than any male chauvinist could have ever accomplished.

Most western cultures have turned gender roles upside, backwards to forwards, and inside out. Most people don't know whats up or what's down in regard to the matter. It's no wonder so many families are torn apart and people are so confused.

Blessings,

Travis

For me it is sad to see women who think they have to be super mom, and wife. Trying their best to take care of their family, but stretching themselves to thin in order to "have it all". And i fully agree that the spirit of Jezabel, has infiltrated our lives as to such a way, that for a Christian woman, it was very difficult for me to "know" what my place was in the 80's. Now that my life is right where God wants me it is easier, but i had to learn the hard way. And i really wish...like you do Sue, that we could teach the youngsters how to walk in how God set up the chain of command so to speak.
Thank you for pointing this out travis.

 

[Sue J Love]

For me it is sad to see women who think they have to be super mom, and wife. Trying their best to take care of their family, but stretching themselves to thin in order to "have it all". And i fully agree that the spirit of Jezabel, has infiltrated our lives as to such a way, that for a Christian woman, it was very difficult for me to "know" what my place was in the 80's. Now that my life is right where God wants me it is easier, but i had to learn the hard way. And i really wish...like you do Sue, that we could teach the youngsters how to walk in how God set up the chain of command so to speak.
Thank you for pointing this out travis.

Cturtle, Thank you for your response. A lot of us had to learn the hard way, sad to say. And, I am still learning. I have not yet arrived, but still have plenty of room to grow in this area of being the woman of God he would have me to be. I pray for sensitivity to the Spirit's voice, to hear him when he speaks words of conviction to my heart, and that I would respond in humility and submission every time, without delay.

 

[Cturtle]

Cturtle, Thank you for your response. A lot of us had to learn the hard way, sad to say. And, I am still learning. I have not yet arrived, but still have plenty of room to grow in this area of being the woman of God he would have me to be. I pray for sensitivity to the Spirit's voice, to hear him when he speaks words of conviction to my heart, and that I would respond in humility and submission every time, without delay.

I like those words of prayer.....i think i will include these words in my own prayers!

Thank you for always being one who encourages others! You truly are a blessing to those whose lives you touch! Mine included!

 

[Curtis]

Adam was the very first recorded "watchman" in history. As the head of Eve his job was to "watch" out for any harm or danger that could cause harm to his family. Of course he failed by letting the serpent into the garden which God told him to protect. Not only did Adam fail in letting the serpent into where he and Eve had fellowship with God, he did not say a thing to warn Eve when she was talking to the serpent. Adam committed two sins, when he did not do what he knew he should have done, and he did what God told him not to do. We are told, "give the Devil no place" unlike what Adam did.
This is the place that a man has as the head of his wife. Women of faith gladly submit to their husband who has taken his rightful position. God him self has a divine order in how works also. The Father , Son, and Holy Spirit. Even though the Father is first, that does not make him better than the Son, or the Holy Spirit who is mentioned last, but is not inferior to the Son, for they are all one, just like a husband and wife who are one flesh.
If the husband does not take on the role as the head of his family, the wife will most likely take that role on herself.